ログインSleep had become a negotiation I kept losing.
Every time I closed my eyes I saw the punch again—Vale’s face, the blood on the ice, the way the arena had gone silent before it exploded. Sometimes the memory shifted and it was my sister’s hospital room instead, the beeping monitors, the way my father had looked at me like I was already a failure. The two images had started bleeding into each other until I couldn’t tell which one hurt more.
I was still awake when the group chat with the team lit up at 1:14 a.m.
Most of the messages were the usual noise. Then one from Vale himself appeared.
Hope the radio girl is worth the suspension.
I stared at the screen until the words blurred.
I didn’t answer.
Morning came too fast. The student union walk-through was scheduled for eleven. Dana had sent a call sheet that read like a military brief: entry point, conversation topics, suggested physical contact, exit angle for the best light.
I got there early again. Habit. Or maybe just the inability to sit still in my own apartment without the walls starting to close in.
Avery arrived looking like she hadn’t slept either. Dark circles, same gray hoodie, hair pulled up like she’d done it without looking in a mirror. She didn’t greet me. She just stopped a few feet away and waited for Dana to start talking.
“Today we want movement,” Dana said. “Walk the main floor, stop at the bulletin boards, grab coffee again if it feels natural. Talk about something personal this time. Viewers need to feel the shift.”
Avery’s voice was flat. “There is no shift.”
“Then create one,” Dana replied, still smiling.
The cameras started rolling the second we stepped inside.
The student union was crowded enough that people noticed us immediately. Phones came out. Whispers followed. I kept my hands in my pockets so I wouldn’t do something stupid with them. Avery walked beside me like she was counting the steps until she could leave.
“You look like hell,” she said under her breath.
“Didn’t sleep.”
“Join the club.”
We stopped at a bulletin board covered in club flyers and internship notices. I pretended to read one. She pretended to care.
“They’re going to want a longer touch today,” I said quietly. “Just so you know.”
“I know.”
“You can say no.”
She glanced at me sideways. “Can I?”
The question hung there. Neither of us answered it.
A group of freshmen walked past and one of them actually said my name like it was a dare. I ignored it. Avery’s jaw tightened.
We kept walking.
Near the coffee counter she stopped so abruptly I almost ran into her.
“My mom’s in the hospital again,” she said, so quietly I almost missed it. “That’s why the money matters. Not the exposure. Not the show. The bills.”
I looked at her. Really looked. The sharp edges were still there, but underneath them was something rawer than anger.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“Don’t be. Just don’t make this harder than it has to be.”
“I’m trying not to.”
She nodded once, like she’d decided something, and started walking again.
We made it through another twenty minutes of carefully managed public performance. I touched her elbow once when the cameras angled for it. She didn’t pull away. The contact lasted three seconds and felt longer.
When Dana finally called cut, Avery stepped back immediately.
“I have class,” she said.
“I’ll walk you.”
“No.”
She left before I could argue.
I stood there in the middle of the student union with the cameras packing up around me and the weight of every eye in the room pressing down. My phone buzzed. Marcus.
Draft boards are watching the show. Keep her close. This is working.
I deleted the message without answering.
That afternoon I went to the empty rink and skated until my legs burned and the only sound left was the cut of blades on ice. No cameras. No audience. Just the cold and the repetition and the memory of Avery’s voice saying the bills.
I stayed until the lights started shutting off section by section.
On the way out I checked my phone again. A new email from the production team sat at the top of the inbox.
Subject: Schedule Update – Emotional Check-In Segment
I opened it.
They wanted us on camera tomorrow night in one of the dorm common rooms. Lights low. Conversation guided. The goal, according to the note, was “to capture the first real crack in the walls.”
I stared at the screen until it dimmed.
Then I forwarded the email to Avery with a single line attached.
We don’t have to give them everything.
Her reply came three minutes later.
We already are.
I put the phone in my pocket and kept walking.
The cold air hit my face like a reminder that the performance wasn’t over.
It was only getting started.
Sleep had become a negotiation I kept losing.Every time I closed my eyes I saw the punch again—Vale’s face, the blood on the ice, the way the arena had gone silent before it exploded. Sometimes the memory shifted and it was my sister’s hospital room instead, the beeping monitors, the way my father had looked at me like I was already a failure. The two images had started bleeding into each other until I couldn’t tell which one hurt more.I was still awake when the group chat with the team lit up at 1:14 a.m.Most of the messages were the usual noise. Then one from Vale himself appeared.Hope the radio girl is worth the suspension.I stared at the screen until the words blurred.I didn’t answer.Morning came too fast. The student union walk-through was scheduled for eleven. Dana had sent a call sheet that read like a military brief: entry point, conversation topics, suggested physical contact, exit angle for the best light.I got there early again. Habit. Or maybe just the inability to
The coffee shop they chose for the first official “date” was the kind of place that looked casual until you noticed the lighting had been adjusted for cameras.I arrived ten minutes early because I refused to look like I was the one being summoned. Jax was already there, seated at a corner table with his back to the wall, hoodie up, taped knuckles resting on the table like a warning. A single camera was positioned near the pastry case. Another floated near the window. Dana stood just out of frame, smiling like this was a gift she was giving us.I sat down without greeting him.“You’re early,” he said.“So are you.”“Didn’t feel like giving them the entrance shot.”I almost respected that. Almost.A server appeared with two cups neither of us had ordered. Dana’s voice floated over. “Just act natural. Talk about classes. Or the weather. Or how you can’t stop thinking about each other. Whatever feels true.”Jax’s mouth twitched. “None of that feels true.”“Then pretend harder,” Dana said
I could still feel the exact place where his hand had rested on my side.It burned like a brand even after I pulled away. I kept my arms crossed tight over my chest as we walked, fingers digging into my own sleeves hard enough to leave marks. The cameras stayed far enough back to look casual, but I felt every lens like a hand on the back of my neck.Jax walked beside me like he belonged in every frame. Broad shoulders, easy stride, the kind of presence that made people look twice even when they didn’t want to. The split knuckles on his right hand were still taped. Every time they caught the light I saw the slow-motion replay again—fist, blood, silence, then chaos.I hated that my stomach still turned when I looked at it.“You don’t have to talk,” he said after a stretch of silence that felt longer than it was. His voice was low enough that the mics probably wouldn’t catch it clean. “We can just walk.”“I’m not doing this for conversation.”“Yeah. I got that.”A group of students passe
They made us meet in the empty athletic department conference room like we were signing a peace treaty after a war neither of us wanted.I got there first. Habit. Always early, always ready, even when the only thing waiting for me was a disaster. The long table was covered in call sheets, branding packets, and a stack of NDAs so thick it looked like a threat. A camera was already set up in the corner, red light blinking. Another one faced the opposite wall. They weren’t even pretending this was private.My agent, Marcus, stood by the window scrolling through his phone. He didn’t look up when I walked in.“She’s late,” he said.“She’s probably trying to talk herself out of it.”Marcus finally glanced at me. “Don’t be an asshole when she gets here. Smile. Be charming. Do the thing you’re supposedly good at.”I dropped into a chair and stared at my hands. The knuckles on my right hand were still split and yellowing under the tape. Every time I flexed them I felt the impact again..bone on
I was three minutes from signing off when the studio door opened without a knock.That alone should have told me something was wrong. Nobody walked into the campus radio booth like they owned it—especially not at 11:47 p.m. on a Thursday.I kept my voice steady into the mic. “That’s all for tonight on Off the Record. Keep questioning the stories they sell you. And if you’re one of the guys who think a jersey gives you a free pass to act like a goddamn animal…” I let the silence stretch just long enough. “Maybe sit the next one out.”I killed the feed, yanked off my headphones, and spun the chair around.A woman in a blazer too expensive for this building stood in the doorway holding a tablet. Behind her was a guy with a camera already half-raised, like he’d been told to start rolling the second I looked up.“Avery Quinn?” the woman said, smiling with too many teeth. “I’m Dana from the Campus Heat production team. We need five minutes.”I stared at her. Then at the camera. Then back at
I didn’t even feel my fist leave my body.One second Carter Vale’s mouth was moving, saying something about my sister that made the ice under my skates feel like it was cracking open. The next second my knuckles were buried in his face and blood was already painting the white surface red.The arena went dead quiet for half a heartbeat. Then it exploded.People screamed. Phones lit up like a thousand tiny stars. I stood over him, chest heaving so hard it hurt, gloves already off, the metallic taste of adrenaline thick in my throat. Vale was on his knees, hands cupped under his nose, blood pouring between his fingers. He looked up at me with pure shock, like he couldn’t believe I’d actually done it.Neither could I.“Harrington! Box! Now!”The ref’s voice barely cut through the roaring in my ears. Two of my teammates grabbed my arms and dragged me toward the penalty box. I let them. My legs felt disconnected, like they belonged to someone else. Coach’s face on the bench was the color of







