Chapter 2

Alexander 

I have tried to be that perfect husband for my wife but she never seems to see me.

Like I'm invisible to her, she treats me like I'm garbage to her. I have devoted 5 years of my life to make her happy, taking away everything that matters to me, my dreams, my aspirations. My pride as a man but right there at the pool side I made a decision.

To let her go for good. She doesn't want me. She prefers Nelson, she wants him. 

She even prefers to have her dildo buried inside of her instead of me. That's the height of my sacrifice, not anymore.

It's time to let her go and start doing things that really matter to me.

I already have the soft copy of the divorce agreement on my laptop. I will give her this and see her reaction.

I know deep down Tracy really cares. Come on, she wasn't like this until Nelson showed up a year ago and now I barely know my wife. She barely looks at me. We are all about arguing about Nelson but she says it's nothing.

They were only friends and I believed her. I know Tracy won't cheat on me even though she deprived me of sex but I have this faith in her. It is not really faith but love.

I fell for her, for her charms. Watching her the previous night with a wide smile on her face talking over the phone. I wished the smiles were for me.

The divorce agreement settled on the dining table as Tracy walked in giggling on her phone.

“Nelson, I love those pictures. They are deaddrop gorgeous” she says settling in, in one of the seats beside me.

Why does it always have to be him? She looks happy whenever they are on call. He makes her happy, what is the essence of me being with her?

Wait! Is this jealous?

Someone is taking my wife away from me and I'm doing nothing about it.

“Alexanded where is there no breakfast” she asks when she finally gets off the phone and finally looks at me.

Last night was the last time I will be cooking for her. She doesn't get to taste my cooking anymore.

I have always made sure to put her inhaler in case she had one of her attacks, spraying diaspora on her clothes each time. Does she take notice of my efforts anymore?

“Tray, I'm divorcing you” she stares at me, not surprised then her phone beeps. She smiles totally ignoring me to attend to her phone. I guess it should be Nelson.

Right! She's more important than me.

I don't know how long to keep holding on to this pain. I feel in my heart watching my wife slip away from me right before my eyes longing for a man who clearly broke her and shattered her into pieces before but I respect her happiness. 

Most times I ask myself what women really want. A faithful and caring man or just a jerk who will cheat on them 

Whatever that makes her happy. I placed the divorce agreement right in front of her. But it slipped off to the ground.

“You have to sign this” I picked it up and placed it right in front of her with a pain in the side. She doesn't even look at it but instead pins her signature with so much ease throwing five years of our marriage like it's nothing to her.

My mouth drops open watching her sign those papers. She couldn't even have the decency to read any word.

“Do you know what you just signed?”

“Yes, an agreement for my meds” she sighs.

“Alexander, why do you have to be on me?” she asked disgustedly. Why does she have to always say that?

I care about her well-being, I always want to see her happy but she makes me feel unwanted like an always bulging her.

“Why does it always have to be Nelson all the time?” 

"At least Nelson has done so much for me. What have you done for me?” The comparison is what annoys me the most. She always measure me up to Nelson 

The perfect man, Mr Right for her.

“Nelson stayed with me after my mum died and after my mum promised me she's going to be like a star to watch over me each time. Nelson found out the star”

What! That's me who found the star.

“That's not true,  I'm the one…” the ringing of her phone interrupted our conversation. She picked it up and walked away before I could even explain myself.

Her calls are more important than me and she doesn't fail to brush me like I'm nothing to her.

My head nods in deflect acceptance with my knuckles squeezed tightly resisting the urge and the anger to hit something.

My dear loving wife doesn't even give me an audience.

Our marriage is in shambles. 

At the point of both anger and humiliation bestowed upon me by my wife. My phone rang. The light lightened up my screen, the caller Mr James Turner.

Probably it's time not to ignore him anymore, it's time to do the things I love instead of chasing shadows.

Love that wasn't really there in the first.

“Hello” I picked up the first ring.

“I’m hoping this is a good time to speak to you” he asked from the other side of the line.

“Our team has read your proposal and we are glad to welcome you back” I nod with a rare hope warming me up.

There is no need to feel helpless anymore  because I'm about to have my job back. My dreams, my aspirations.

Going for things that truly matter.  

My dream as an astronaut was caught short because I want to make her happy but she sees me like a useless piece of shit. Not man enough for her.

“I'm hoping you could resume immediately. We have an underlying project in hand”

“Sure Mr Tuner. Will resume immediately”

“Glad to hear that” the phone cut off.

Tracy I hope you don't regret this.