Chapter 4

Alexander 

I watched Nelson and my wife play. Tracy wasn't good at playing so Nelson tried to teach her.

The closeness and the touches I have to swallow that up even though I think Nelson is doing it on purpose.

“You have to hold the ratchet this way, your focal point before you shoot the ball” Nelson says while I stood by Claire entertaining herself with whatever.

I swallowed the big lump on my throat. Nelson is the man who had won her heart and I'm nobody to her but just a worthless husband who cleans and washes dishes.

“My last time of teaching someone, seems difficult at first but she later got better and she rewarded with a kiss just like this”

Tracy finally had the decency to move away, realizing I stood in front of them watching them play.

“Hey man I hope you don't mind” Nelson asks.

Dude! I hope I don't mind watching you kiss my wife. What kind of humiliation is that? My palm boils, Nelson has chewed so much I can handle. I can't tolerate her bullshit anymore.

“I hope you're not mad” 

“Come on Nelson, Alex is cool with it” Tracy says and I am just like okay if that is really what she wants them she should go ahead.

I wonder what they are doing whenever I'm not around them.

But then I brushed it away, reminding myself that it is just a week for me to leave. She won't be seeing me around her anymore and she can gladly have Nelson, the man of her dreams, the man she measures me to and compares me with.

I wonder what she sees in him other than they were childhood friends and pretty close but I see how Nelson looks at her like she's his world and Tracy matters to him so much.

I compensated myself by leaving soon before my eyes caught something. The tennis ball is in the air and it's approximately a hit on Tracy.

“Tracy watch out” I ran over to her side to shield her, allowing the ball to hit me behind my neck.

“Ouch” I screamed in pain.

“Alexander, are you okay? Do you need me to take you to the hospital” Tracy asks with concern written all over her face but before I could even say a word I heard someone groan in pain. It wasn't me. It's Nelson lying on the floor and I wonder how he got there.

“Ouch, my wrist,” Nelson groans.

Tracy ran over to his side.

“Nelson, are you okay?” 

Claire ran in, almost screaming on top of her voice.

“Nelson, are you okay?” two ladies were concerned over Nelson who  I'm pretty sure nothing is wrong with. Countless times Tracy has compared me to Nelson being a real man who didn't realize that being dramatic is also part of the real man.

“Alexander shoved me off and pushed me to the ground”

What! Did he just accuse me of pushing him? I didn't even touch, probably I might have not been so sure but I'm concerned about Tracy so instead of defending myself since I wasn't so sure I kept calm.

“What! Alexander I know you must be jealous over Nelson but pushing him is so evil” Claire yells.

“I'm so sorry Nelson, why don't we get you to the hospital to check if your wrist have been sprained”

“What! What about me I'm the one that got hurt” but Tracy didn't even look at me for once. I saved her from being hurt but that doesn't matter.

Nelson matters more to her than me and that hurts so much.

“You can order Uber to the hospital,” she says.

“Nelson can you stand” both of them helped him up while I took myself to the hospital.

My left hand got wrapped up on a bandage and all these while I'm expecting to see Tracy come check up on me but she didn't.

I walked down the hallway only to see two men on laptop talking.

“She even have to book the whole ward so he could have peace and quietness”

“He treats him like a king” they both walked away when they noticed me.

And walked to the half open door only to see Tracy sitting right In front of Nelson talking. Her concern over Nelson and his accusations struck me again.

I looked away nursing the same thought. I will be gone soon. I will disappear from his life  and the both can have the peace they both deserved.

“Alex, I was coming to see you” she says standing in front of me.

Doesn't she feel guilty most times? Punishing me isn't enough for her. Why does she have to always place Nelson as her top priority?

You're just a worthless stay at home husband. My instinct reminds me.

“How is your wrist?” I ignored her question but rather asked the question that has been heavy in my heart for over a decade.

“Tracy did you ever love me” I wanted to hear the truth so desperately even though I knew the answer to that question but I still felt like asking at least to have her say it right to my face.

“Jesus Christ Alex, suck it up. Is it because of Nelson? You know we are close and his my childhood friend”

“No Tracy, answer the question. I want to know. Did you ever love me for once?” I asked again but she stayed calm like she's thinking about it.

“Alex we are in public” 

Does it really matter if we are in public or not and that's when I got the confirmation I needed.

She's ashamed of me.

“You're ashamed of saying it” that broke me even more but I have to act brave. I have loved Tracy for 8 years and been married to her for over five years and just realized all my efforts to make her fall for me were all in vain.

“Tracy, could you please help me get the towel? I can't move my wrist” Nelson calls from the ward, interrupting our conversation.

“What! Nelson you want me to get your towel” Tracy hesitated for a while contemplating if she could or not. She had already made a rack of my emotions; there wasn't any need for her to pretend anymore.

“Yes, go ahead” I encourage out of anger and pure jealousy. I wasn't going to allow Nelson to have his way this time, making me feel useless.

“Alex it isn't what you think. Alex and I are close. His like a brother to me”

“Yes a brother to you why don't you go on and help him” Tracy went in, I looked away and my eyes caught on two ages couples.

The woman is in a wheelchair while the husband still pushes her around.

“Oh Fred, I don't know what I will do without you” is so heart warming watching them.

I know love still exists but it doesn't exist between me and Tracy. The beeping of my phone, my screen lighten up to the message from IAA reminding me to come start training 

My phone rings and its Dr Turner.

“Hey Alex, we have to move in two weeks time and you have to show up for the training” 

“Yes, I will show up soon”

“Okay, hey did you tell your wife you won't be showing up for a year. How did she take that”

“You don't have to worry about that. I'm divorce now”

“Divorce! Alex, what are you talking about” Tracy interrupts.

Can't she remember when she signed the divorce papers by herself?

“How can we be divorced?”

“You signed the papers yourself Tracy”

“If this is all about Nelson, his just a friend to me. A platonic friend that's all”

“Hope I'm not interrupting” Nelson held up his hands on the air.

“Hope I'm not the reason you both are fighting. Alex. Tracy and I are just friends. We use to bath together while we are kids nothing sexual”

“Great! nice” but Nelson sighs steps closer and whispered into my ears.

“Your wife have a banging body and her ass fits perfectly in my hand” 

I couldn't control myself anymore so I elbowed him, he landed to the ground.

“What Alex” Tracy hand went over my face, she literally slapped me for him.

“Your hurt his wrist, do you want to hurt him again”

That's it Tracy, I'm tired of tolerating your shit. I wish you happiness.