My Girlfriend

Baylen asked me to go shopping with him and Keegan. They needed a girl’s opinion about Christmas gifts for the women in their lives and apparently I’m the only platonic girl either of them knows.

I didn’t want to help Keegan choose a gift for Jada.

Coal.

He can get her coal.

That’s mean. I needed to recalibrate. He is Baylen’s best friend, not…

Mine.

Thinking about that made my stomach queasy. He would never be mine. Jada was so lucky that she got to call him her own. What I wouldn’t do to be able to say those sweet words.

Keegan is my boyfriend. It gave me chills just thinking about it.

“You ready squirt?” Baylen said, rubbing my back softly to get my attention.

I definitely was in my Keegan stupor.

“Yeah. Let’s do this.”

As I grabbed my bag, Keegan walked into the front door. His blonde curls tumbling forward from his hood that he had pulled up on his head.

Tan.

Muscles.

White teeth.

Gorgeous.

These were all of the things that flew through my brain in mere seconds.

“Hey. Squirt!”

“Hey, Kee!”

I tried to sound cheerful about going to choose a gift for his girlfriend, but I could hear the facade in my voice.

We got to the mall rather quickly. We immediately went to a jewelry counter. Baylen saw a necklace that he thought our mom would like. He went to speak with the saleswoman.

“Would you like to see this bracelet?”

A saleswoman approached myself and Keegan. Before I could interject, she had it out of the display case and in front of us.

“Go on. Try it on her!”

Keegan looked at me. He had a smile in his eyes. I hadn’t seen him look at me this way before. It made me nervous and excited.

He picked up the emerald bracelet and brought it to my wrist. His fingers fumbling with the clasps.

I slowly held out my wrist.

Keegan wrapped the bracelet around it.

His fingers were careful as he worked the clasp, but they lingered.

Just for a second.

Maybe two.

I looked down at his hands.

Then up at his face.

He was already looking at me.

And he didn’t look away.

Neither did I.

The noise of the mall seemed to disappear around us.

There was just this strange, quiet space between us.

His eyes dropped briefly to my mouth.

My breath caught.

Then he looked back into my eyes.

“You should wear bracelets more.”

I blinked.

“What?”

He smiled.

“Nothing.”

My heart was pounding.

I pulled my wrist back slightly.

“You’re weird.”

“Probably.”

He didn’t move away.

Neither did I.

I looked at the bracelet.

“It actually is pretty.”

“Yeah.”

I looked up.

He was still watching me.

“You think Jada will like it?”

His expression changed.

Just slightly.

“Yeah,” he said.

But the way he was looking at me didn’t make me feel like he was talking about Jada.

I quickly looked toward Baylen.

He was still occupied.

I lowered my voice.

“You’re supposed to be shopping for your girlfriend.”

“I am.”

“Then why are you putting it on me?”

Keegan’s mouth twitched.

“Because I wanted to see it on you.”

My stomach flipped.

I stared at him.

He seemed to realize what he’d said because his eyes shifted away for the first time.

“Brees.”

“What?”

He shook his head.

“Nothing.”

“No. You can’t just say something like that and then say nothing.”

He looked at me again.

For one tiny second, I thought he might actually tell me.

Tell me that I wasn’t imagining this.

That there was something between us.

Something neither of us was supposed to feel.

Instead, he reached for the bracelet and gently unclasped it from my wrist.

“Can’t have Baylen seeing me trying jewelry on you.”

I laughed nervously.

“Yeah. He’d probably kill you.”

“Probably.”

He handed me the bracelet.

Our fingers touched again.

This time neither of us moved immediately.

His eyes met mine.

And there it was again.

That look.

That impossible, confusing look that made me wonder if maybe I wasn’t crazy.

Maybe Keegan did like me.

Maybe all those little moments weren’t just moments.

Maybe the way he looked at me when he thought nobody was watching actually meant something.

But then he took the bracelet from my hand.

“For Jada,” he said.

And just like that, the reminder hit me.

Jada.

His girlfriend.

I forced a smile.

“For Jada.”

He nodded.

“Yeah.”

Baylen suddenly called from across the counter.

“Brees! Mom likes the gold one better!”

I turned toward him.

“Okay!”

When I looked back at Keegan, he was watching me.

And for some reason, I couldn’t stop wondering if he was just as confused as I was.