Saving Myself For You

“Babe, I know I hurt you and I’m going to try to do everything that I can to make it up to you. I was an idiot. My friendship should not have given way to shutting you out and it did. I should have pressed the issue with Baylen and made him aware that my feelings were more than a crush. They are more than a mere infatuation or school boy fantasy. They are real! And I love you more than I could ever express in words. I will show you over and over though for the rest of our lives,” Keegan pleaded.

His one loose curl fell into his eyes as he begged for my acceptance. Did he just say for the rest of our lives? Keegan had no intention of letting me go and that’s all I wanted to hear.

“Kee, can we go to your room and spend some time, not talking?” I asked, giving him a wink.

I grabbed his hand and led him upstairs to his bedroom. His light was dimmed and the room was dark from his blackout curtains. I sat on the side of his bed.

“Brees, this isn’t what I meant by showing you my love. I will never pressure you into doing something you aren’t ready for,” he said, still standing in the doorway.

I patted the spot next to me on his dark blue comforter. He reluctantly walked over and sat by me.

“Kee, I just wanted more privacy is all. I don’t think that you would pressure me into anything. I feel safe with you,” I said, touching his chin ever so slightly.

I pulled his face towards mine and started kissing his chin. Small pecks at first to gauge the situation. He was giving in to the feeling so I moved down to his neck. I could hear him softly panting. I felt his heart racing as my chest pressed up against his. He gripped the back of my hair and pulled me softly back to kiss me. His tongue massaging mine slowly and methodically. We fell back onto his pillows and he climbed on top of me, still kissing me passionately.

I knew I wanted more, but was unsure of how much more. Keegan pressed his body gently against mine. We moved in a rhythmic motion. I ran my hands through his golden curls as he rubbed my thigh. He started to move his hand up my shirt but stopped himself.

“Why did you stop?” I inquired, still out of breath.

“I just want to take things slow with you and I feel this is moving too fast,” he said, fixing my shirt and sitting me up.

I didn’t say anything, but I maneuvered my body so that my feet were hanging off the side of his bed. My back was to him.

“Are you ok?” he asked, putting his arm around me. He looked at me with doe-eyes. I think he could sense my disappointment at his halting our make-out session.

I nodded and leaned into him.

“Brees, I’ve never had sex before. My first time will be special and I would love for it to be with you. But we need to build a relationship first. I know we love one another and that is a beautiful start, but to share your body with me is much more sacred than our out of control hormones,” he said, giving me a half-smile.

I was very surprised that he had never had sex before. I know he has dated a few girls since his freshman year and I assumed he and Jada had. I mean look at his guy. Like I can barely control myself around him.

“Keegan, you are right. When we are ready, we should share our love safely and meaningfully,” I agreed.

He kissed me one last time, slowly and thoughtfully. He fixed my hair and my top. We walked back downstairs so we could make something to eat. I watched him as he prepared some paninis in the sandwich maker. The love of my life had just vowed his virginity would be mine and my heart wanted to burst at the thought. He truly did love me and he wanted to protect me.

I was Keegan Patts girlfriend and I never wanted that to end.