So Embarrassing

My heart skipped a beat. He wanted me to come. He wanted to be around me. Maybe this year would be different after all. Maybe he could see himself with me and not see me as one of the guys anymore. Keegan’s birthday is in September, so we are only a few months apart in age. My frown quickly turned into a half smile as I connected my eyes to his. As I was about to accept his gentlemanly offer, I saw those beautiful lips part to tell me more incredibly angelic words.

“I would love for you to meet Jada,” Keegan said, stifling my daydream.

“Ja-Ja-Jada?” I stuttered, fidgeting with the rind of the dirty watermelon.

“Oh yeah, Kee has a new girllll-friend,” Baylen teased, poking Keegan in the side, “She doesn’t go to Huff though. She is from Northern.”

“Oh nice. I uh, can’t today, Casey and I are actually finishing school shopping with my mom. Thanks for the invite. I have to clean my watermelon…or my shoulder…Maybe another time?” I said, trying to hold it together.

“Sure Squirt! Have fun with Casey and Missy,” Keegan said with a big smile, looking over at Baylen, “She isn’t even my girlfriend dude.” They play-wrestled for a second as I took in those words and his smile.

Gosh when he smiled like that I could just literally melt into a puddle. I guess that would be figuratively, but it feels literal. His perfect teeth met his lips at just the right spot and his baby blue eyes lit up as if he had plugged them into an outlet. He has no idea how my heart beats for him and I could never tell him. Keegan Patts will never be mine and I will never be his. I gather my things and run into the house, almost running my mother over in the kitchen.

“Slow down there Brees, where’s the fire my girl?” mom asks with a chuckle.

“No where, Bay just is such a jerk sometimes is all”, I say very unconvincingly.

“Keegan is here huh?” she pondered, as she pushed my hair out of my face. I won’t look at her directly. I try to gaze at her left eyebrow so she thinks I am, but mom is too clever. “We all have crushes Brees, and they don’t have to be anything more than a crush. It’s okay to be embarrassed when your brother acts like a complete dick in front of him.”

“Mom, seriously stop. I’m fine and no one likes Keegan. That was so middle school. We are in high school officially now and I will be looking at boys my own speed. Thank you very much,” I say very defensively. “Plus, you and dad are divorced so you aren’t that great at love advice these days Missy,” I said jokingly.

“Touché, my girl,” she laughed, tickling my sides playfully.

I enjoy these moments when I see her smile. She didn’t show much emotion when dad left and hasn’t really had any friends or dates that we are aware of.

“Well hurry and get out of your bathing suit so we can grab Casey,” she ordered.

“Will do,” I said, running into my room to change. As I go to grab my old travel league shirt, I hesitate. If I’m going to not be “Baylen’s little sister,” this year, I have really got to step it up. I grabbed the new crop top my dad and his girlfriend got me, for my birthday last Christmas, instead. Being born on Christmas has its perks, but it also means I’m a year older than the kids in my grade. Which means I developed a lot quicker too. I haven’t been comfortable with my body until now. Mom said I need to embrace my curves and love all of me, so I will start today I suppose. I throw on the top and some jean shorts and head out the door. Mom is already in her truck when I get out there. Baylen and Keegan are getting into Baylen’s Jeep. I catch Keegan look in my direction and give me a little smile. I won’t read too much into it because this fall he has Jada and I’ve got myself. Keegan Patts is out of my head for good. I turned to catch his eye…he was STILL looking at me. His look was different. It was almost longing…wanting…desiring. He looked away sharply as I waved to them. I saw what I saw and I am not sure that I even cared. He chose who he chose and I was not even on his radar. Have fun with Jada this year. You are no longer in my heart, Keegan Patts!