Chapter 29

It was the week before my birthday. Mom had purchased my list of things I needed to make Baylen and Quinn’s night go off without a hitch. I was waiting in anticipation for Keegan, Isadora and Casey to arrive.

I organized the decorations and laid out our costumes to wear as the “waiters” of the evening. I already had my hair pulled back into a slicked bun. Mom got us white and black tuxedo shirts and black slacks. We had serving towels and sparkling cider with fruit platters. I had a seafood boil warming and Keegan was bringing praline pound cake and caramel cheesecake.

Isadora arrived with Keegan and I assisted them with their jackets. It was only 64 degrees today, so it was quite chilly for us here in Kentwood. Casey arrived almost simultaneously, so I wasn’t feeling awkward with just the two lovebirds being in my house.

“Hey Kee P. how's it hanging?” Casey asked, slapping his back with an opened palm.

“It’s going Case. How have you been since that bull shit went down with Cyman?” he asked, with genuine concern.

“I haven’t talked to him since then and it’s going to stay that way. Thanks for sticking up for me Kee!” she said.

He grabbed her into a huge bear hug and said, “Anything for you Case. You are family.”

I loved seeing these two get along. Casey hasn’t been the biggest fan of Keegan’s since we split up and she has made it pretty well known.

We started getting everything set up. I had Isadora and Keegan lay out the table cloth, candles and tableware. I set out Quinn’s gift in the center that I had wrapped with black and gold paper. Casey mixed a punch drink with berries and limes that looked beautiful.

Baylen arrived home from visiting our dad and was floored by how beautiful everything looked.

“Thank you all so much for helping me with this. Quinn is on her way over. She is going to love this so much. Man I love that girl,” Baylen said, taking in the ambience.

As we waited in the living room for Quinn to arrive, Baylen went to get dressed.

“I can’t believe he would go to such great lengths for his girlfriend,” Isadora said.

“You do these things when you really love someone, Izzy,” Casey interrupted.

I caught Keegan’s eyes. He was looking at me as she said those words. Once upon a time those words were true for him and I. I think I will always love him. It’s not something I can just shut off when I feel like it.

“Keegan why don’t you ever do these things for me,” Isadora pouted.

“Because I don’t love you,” Keegan said, immediately wishing he hadn’t.

Isadora’s face said it all. She was completely stunned. He went over to hug her.

“I, uh, I meant that we aren’t there yet Izzy. We are still getting to know one another,” Keegan said, bumping her chin like a father does a child when he tells him to keep his chin up.

Isadora looked so pissed. How could she possibly think Keegan loved her?

“Is it because you still love her?” she said, thrusting her finger in my direction.

I continued folding the napkins and tried not to make eye contact.

“Izzy, now isn’t the time. We can discuss this later. When we are alone,” Keegan said.

He kissed her lightly on the lips. It was like a dagger had been stabbed directly into my heart. He was so calm and sweet with her. I wanted to hear his answer as well. Did you still love me Keegan Patts?

“No, tell me now! I watched you both all last year and you were so in love. Am I kidding myself by thinking we could be more?” she asked, with tears welling up in her eyes.

He pulled her in with one arm around her shoulders.

“I am not in love Brees anymore, Izzy. I like you and that’s where the lines are drawn. Take it or leave it,” he said

She snuggled her head into his chest and nodded. Casey looked at me and I looked at Keegan. There it was. The validation I needed to be able to move on. I had kept my heart closed off to Jagger and Jeff because I really did still love Keegan, but hearing him say that while holding another girl in his arms was the final nail in the coffin of our love.

Quinn arrived and I invited her into the kitchen.

“This is beautiful, Brees,” she said, sitting at the table with Baylen.

“Hey, how do you know this wasn’t all me?” Baylen teased.

“Oh babe, I’ve seen your decorating skills when we went to the gift wrapping class last week!” she said, leaning over and kissing him gently.

They were truly so adorable together. The night carried on and we served the couple all night. Isadora cleaned while we brought out new courses. Casey played her violin so that they could slow dance.

“Guys, it’s been fun, but my ride is here,” Isadora said, kissing Keegan and heading out the door.

I thanked her for coming and went into the living room to give Baylen and Quinn more privacy during their serenade from Casey. Keegan was by the door sending Isadora off. He joined me in the living room when she left.

“That was fun,” he said, grabbing my hand and spinning me in a cheesy, old dance movie kind of way.

We laughed hysterically as I almost fell over. He grabbed me by the waist so that I didn’t fall. He pulled me up and fixed my shirt.

“Oh come on Squirt. Dance with me,” he said, extending his gloved hand to me.

I hesitated, staring at his outstretched hand as though it held both promise and regret. Why did we always end up in these situations ? I gazed at his face. His smile lit up the room in the low light as he nodded towards his hand. Slowly, I placed my hand in his, and he pulled me gently into the center of the room.

Neither of us spoke for a long time. I inhaled his cologne. The subtle hint of cinnamon and ash mesmerized me. I looked up at him and he was staring down at me so intensely that I could barely speak.

“It’s been a while since we did this,” I finally said, my voice barely above a whisper.

Keegan glanced at me, his smile carrying the weight of a thousand unsaid words. “It really has.”

The song changed; another muffled, slow, melancholy tune began to play as Casey strummed from the kitchen.

Our bodies moved together instinctively, as though we were still the same people who used to be in love. The same people that shared our first kiss right here in this room. But now, there was a fragility in our movements; a softness imprinted from months of distance and unspoken apologies.

“I have really enjoyed talking with you over the last few months,” Keegan said, his voice soft against my ear.

“It’s been like old times,” I replied without hesitation. “Except now you don’t love me and we are just friends.”

“Brees...” his voice trailed off.

He restrained his words and stayed mute. We swayed in silence, our steps slow and deliberate, as if we were trying to hold onto something fleeting. This moment would end soon and I wanted to savor whatever this was.