Chapter 67

Brees thought blocking Keegan would make it easier.

It didn’t.

It just made everything quieter.

His name no longer appeared on her phone.

No late-night texts.

No random pictures from his day.

No stupid videos he knew would make her laugh when she was trying not to.

No You awake? at midnight.

Nothing.

And somehow, nothing hurt worse than everything.

She had stared at his contact for almost ten minutes before finally pressing Block Contact.

Her thumb had hovered over the button.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

Then she had done it.

Because she couldn’t keep being the girl who waited for Keegan to decide what they were.

Especially after what happened in front of their mothers.

After her mom found out they’d been sleeping together, Keegan had promised her.

“It won’t happen again.”

Brees had wanted him to promise they would be safe. Not that it would never happen again.

She had wanted that promise to mean he was choosing her.

Instead, when their mothers asked what was happening between them, Keegan had backed away.

He had denied that they were going to keep dating.

And Brees had stood there feeling like the entire relationship they’d built had suddenly become something he was embarrassed to claim.

So she’d walked away.

And this time, she wasn’t going back.

Three weeks later, senior year had started at Huffinton High.

Brees had quickly learned that people didn’t know what to do with a broken heart that wasn’t loud.

She wasn’t screaming.

She wasn’t crying in the hallways.

She wasn’t telling everyone what happened.

She just… stopped talking about him.

And somehow, that worried people more.

Jagger was the one who noticed first.

She had moved to Huffinton from Texas for Brees.

That fact sat between them now, heavy and impossible to ignore.

Jagger had once been Brees’ love. Someone she thought she could be with.

The girl who had loved her openly.

The girl Brees had broken when she chose Keegan instead.

Now Jagger was here, close enough to see Brees every day, but neither of them knew what to do with the distance between them.

Jagger still found reasons to sit near her at lunch.

She still walked with Brees between classes when their schedules lined up.

Sometimes she sent Brees stupid texts when she knew she was having a bad day.

But she never stayed too long.

Never touched her.

Never acted as if they were still what they had once been.

The awkwardness followed them everywhere.

Brees could feel it in every unfinished conversation and every moment when Jagger looked at her, then looked away.

She wanted to apologize.

She had apologized before.

But no apology could change the fact that Jagger had left Texas believing Brees might choose her someday, only to watch Brees choose Keegan instead.

So Jagger stayed.

But she no longer belonged to Brees.

And Brees knew she had no right to ask her to.

Still, there was one person Brees wished was sitting beside her.

Casey.

Except Casey was halfway around the world.

Japan.

Her parents had discovered she was pregnant with Cyman’s baby, and everything about her life had changed almost overnight.

Brees missed her terribly.

The time difference made everything harder.

Sometimes Brees would wake up to a string of messages from Casey sent while she was sleeping.

Sometimes Casey would call when Brees was getting ready for school, her face appearing on the screen from a completely different world.

But Casey never stopped checking on her.

That morning, Brees’s phone buzzed.

Casey: You awake?

Brees smiled despite herself.

Brees: Unfortunately.

Three dots appeared.

Casey: Senior year. Don’t waste it crying over blonde boy.

Brees rolled her eyes.

Brees: You’re in Japan and still bossy.

Casey: Pregnant and in Japan. I have earned the right.

Brees laughed quietly.

It was the first real laugh she’d had that morning.

Then another message appeared.

Casey: How are you really?

Brees stared at the question.

Her smile disappeared.

She typed.

Deleted it.

Typed again.

Brees: I’m okay.

Casey immediately responded.

Casey: Liar.

Brees sighed.

Brees: I miss him.

The response took longer this time.

Then:

Casey: I know.

Brees stared at the screen.

Casey: But missing him doesn’t mean you made the wrong choice.

Brees swallowed.

That was the problem.

She didn’t think she’d made the wrong choice.

She just wished the right choice didn’t hurt so badly.

And somewhere beneath that pain was another truth she didn’t want to face.

She missed Jagger too.

Not in the same way.

Not with the same desperate ache she felt for Keegan.

But she missed the way Jagger used to look at her before Brees broke her heart.

She missed the ease they had once shared.

She missed being loved without having to question whether she was wanted.

And she hated knowing she had destroyed that.

Later that afternoon, Brees walked through the crowded halls of Huffinton High.

Senior year.

Her last year.

Everyone kept telling her it was supposed to be the best year of her life.

She wanted it to be.

She really did.

She wanted football games and homecoming and late-night drives.

College visits.

Graduation.

Senior pictures.

All the things she’d dreamed about.

Instead, she felt like she was carrying around a secret piece of herself that nobody could see.

She still loved Keegan.

That was the part she hated most.

She could be angry with him.

She could ignore him.

She could block him.

She could tell herself she deserved better.

But none of that magically erased the feelings.

And she couldn’t stand the thought that he might be perfectly fine without her.

Then she saw the picture.

Someone had posted it in the hallway.

Keegan at LSU.

Football gear.

Helmet tucked underneath his arm.

That familiar smile.

Brees stopped walking.

For one horrible second, everything around her disappeared.

He looked happy.

Like nothing had happened.

Like he hadn’t broken her heart.

Like he hadn’t left her standing in her mother’s office wondering how something that had felt so real to her could suddenly be so easy for him to deny.

Jagger noticed her stop.

She followed Brees’s gaze, then looked back at her.

“You okay?”

Brees immediately looked away.

“Yeah.”

Jagger’s expression tightened.

She knew Brees too well to believe her, but she also knew she wasn’t allowed to comfort her the way she used to.

Not after Brees had chosen someone else.

Not after moving all the way from Texas had failed to make Brees choose her.

Jagger shifted her backpack higher on her shoulder.

“You want to go?”

Brees nodded.

“Please.”

They walked away together.

There was space between their shoulders.

Space Jagger never tried to close.

And Brees didn’t look back.

That night, her phone lit up again.

Casey calling…

Brees answered.

Casey’s face appeared on the screen, her hair pulled back, her room in Japan dim behind her.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

Casey studied her.

“You saw something.”

Brees frowned.

“How do you always know?”

“Because you’re terrible at hiding things from me.”

Brees smiled faintly.

“Keegan’s picture was posted.”

Casey’s expression softened.

“Oh, Bre.”

“I didn’t even cry.”

“That’s not necessarily a good thing.”

“I know.”

Brees pulled her knees toward her chest.

“Do you think he misses me?”

Casey didn’t answer immediately.

“Yes.”

Brees looked up.

“You do?”

“I think you’re probably the last person he’s stopped thinking about.”

That hurt almost as much as hearing that he didn’t care.

“Then why doesn’t he do anything?”

Casey sighed.

“Maybe because he knows you blocked him.”

Brees looked down.

“Maybe.”

“Or maybe he’s scared.”

“Of what?”

“Of admitting he screwed up.”

Brees was quiet.

Then she whispered,

“I wanted him to choose me.”

Casey’s eyes softened.

“And you deserve someone who does.”

Brees nodded.

“I know.”

For a moment, neither girl spoke.

Then Casey smiled.

“Now tell me something good.”

Brees laughed.

“Something good?”

“Yes. You’re a senior. Give me something.”

Brees thought about it.

“I have college applications.”

“That’s not exciting.”

“I’m going my softball game Friday.”

“Better.”

“Jagger’s coming with me to the school and we will ride the bus together.”

Casey’s eyebrows shot up.

“Oh.”

Brees’s smile faded slightly.

“It’s not like that.”

“I didn’t say it was.”

“She’s just being nice and we are teammates now.”

Casey tilted her head.

“Jagger has been nice to you since she moved from Texas.”

Brees looked away.

“I know.”

“And you broke her heart.”

“I know that too.”

Casey’s expression softened.

“Then maybe don’t treat her like a replacement for Keegan.”

Brees flinched.

“I’m not.”

“I know you’re not trying to. But she still loves you, James. Even if she’s trying not to.”

Brees swallowed.

“I don’t know what to do with that.”

“Neither does she.”

Brees stared at the screen.

“I don’t want to hurt her again.”

“Then be honest with her.”

Brees nodded slowly.

“I’ll try.”

Casey smiled.

“Good. Now go to the softball game and try to have fun.”

Brees laughed.

“You’re in Japan. Let me live vicariously.”

“I’m pregnant and in Japan. Let me live vicariously.”

Brees shook her head.

But she was smiling.

And for the first time that day, she didn’t feel completely broken.