Chapter 66

“Wow, okay. Yeah, we are focusing on our sports and I’m getting more serious about Jagger since she is moving here next semester,” I said.

His head whipped around so quickly. He looked confused. After our moms excused themselves, he moved closer to me on the couch.

“Brees, what did you mean about you and Jagger?” he asked.

“Well you said we weren’t together, so I assumed that meant what you said this morning about being in love with me was complete bull crap. What was that Kee?” I asked.

At this point I was holding tears inside so hard that I thought my heart might explode.

He grabbed my hand and didn’t let me pull away.

“I felt like that was the right thing to say for now. Your mom seemed upset that we have been having sex. I didn’t want to give her anything else to worry about. I’m really sorry I said that. You know I absolutely love you with all my heart Squirt,” he said, bumping my chin.

I shook my head.

“No Keegan, I don’t know that. You have had a weird way of showing it over this last year. You have denied me over and over in public. I can’t be loved in private Kee. I don’t know that my emotions can handle this back and forth with you,” I said.

I stood up and walked toward the door. He grabbed my waist.

“Please Brees! I don’t know why I said that. I’m such an idiot. Don’t walk away from me again. I can’t handle it. Please baby. Please!” he cried.

My heart was breaking, but I was done. I was over him treating me like I didn’t matter. I was over him treating me like I was disposable at any moment. I needed to focus on me and getting into college. And most importantly, what would happen to my best friend and her baby. I gave him one last look before I stormed out.

Keegan and I didn’t sit by one another at dinner. Our families talked around us as we passed glances here and there. I felt numb inside. I knew nothing would make this feel better. After dinner I went up to my room to lie down.

Casey texted me that her parents were sending her to live with her grandparents in Japan for a year. She would give birth in the summer and I wouldn’t even be there to support her. She made me promise I wouldn’t tell Cyman. I didn’t think it was fair, but I respected her boundaries. As I made plans with her for the week before she was to leave, I heard a knock on my door.

“Brees? Can I please come in?” I heard Keegan ask.

I didn’t respond. I knew that if I opened that door, he would talk me into staying with him and I could not allow it. I had to be strong.

“I love you so much, Brees. Please talk to me.” he begged.

I could hear him sobbing. My heart was breaking knowing his heart was also broken. I muffled my cries in my pillow. I could hear what sounded like Baylen, talking to him. Eventually I heard nothing.

Keegan and Baylen both went back to school at the end of the week. Keegan kept texting me daily. I finally blocked his number. If I was going to do this, I needed a fresh start. Keegan had my heart for years and he has never treated it with care. This was me moving on and taking care of myself. I was no longer going to be in love with Keegan Patts.