Chapter 37

Friendsmas was tonight. I had managed to make it through Christmas dinner with Keegan. I stayed over at my dad's house with Quinn however since the Patts were staying at our house another night. Keegan texted me twice after we left. He wanted to know if we could talk. My answer to that was a definitive, NO, but I chose not to respond. I had been crying all night. Quinn came to check on me. I had slept on the couch, but I don’t think I slept much at all.

“Hey Brees, how did you sleep? Baylen was asking about you. I didn’t tell him anything. I swear,” Quinn said.

“Quinn, I am just so heartbroken. Have you ever felt like you couldn’t breathe even though you knew you could?” I asked her, laying my head on her shoulder.

I felt like I was having a metaphorical drowning. My emotions were the waves that kept pulling me back under. Stifling my pleas for help.

“I have Brees. This isn’t something that’s small. This is a huge deal and he should be understanding and most of all supportive. Was this his first time as well?” she asked, rubbing my back with one hand.

I shrugged. I truly didn’t know. Keegan is a college football player for one of the biggest schools in the nation. I’m sure girls threw themselves at him daily. I didn’t want to assume though, but how do you ask someone that?

“The worst part is that he has a girlfriend or whatever he and Isadora are. How could I do this to another girl? I’m such an awful person,” I said, wiping tears from my cheek.

“You aren’t though, Brees. You are in love and that’s different. Does he love you?” she asked.

“He said he does. But he also said he just wanted five more minutes to hold me. So what if that meant exactly that? He doesn’t want me any more, he just wanted this moment. I’m such an idiot. I let my guard down. I can’t compete with Isadora. I don’t want to break her heart. My goodness, what am I going to do?” I asked her, searching for my phone.

“You can’t call her Brees,” she said, grabbing my phone before I saw it.

“I have to tell her. I can’t have this on my conscience Quinn,” I said.

“Give Keegan time to talk to her. This is his mess. Not yours!” she exclaimed.

“But she is coming to Friendsmas. How can I even look at her?” I asked, burying my face into my hands.

“You will have me there and Jeff. Baylen isn’t always a huge help in these situations, but you have that knucklehead too,” she joked.

I wanted to believe her. I wanted this all to be okay, but my mind kept going back to that night. The way he kissed me. The way he held me. He was so caring and so careful. How could he be that way with me and still be in a relationship with Isadora? Was he actually bringing her tonight?

“Can you ask Bay if Keegan stayed at our house last night,” I asked.

She nodded and called him right away. She was briefly on the call before hanging up.

“He said that Keegan left last night and hasn’t come back,” Quinn said.

Her tone was different. She sounded nervous. Almost like she was hiding something.

“What Quinn? Did he say something else?” I pleaded.

“Brees, just focus on tonight and spending time with Jeff and your friends,” she said.

She was clearly trying to change the subject, but I was not about to let that happen.

“No Quinn. Don’t do this. What did he say?” I begged her.

She looked like she was about to cry. My heart sank. What did Baylen tell her? Was Keegan okay? Did something happen?