2. Empty

Ed

I feel empty on the inside. 

I thought I would feel better when Al realises that we could never be but no. This emptiness and restlessness isn't something I had banked on.

It's moments like these that make me miss the bloodshed when I was the alpha of Still Waters Pack.

Those were the days I would immerse myself in killings and battles and business deals until I lost myself and forgot all that had been plaguing me. That's what I did when my mate, Cecil's mom, was killed and it had helped for a while.

I was negotiating an oil deal with Nigerians when I got the call. Rogues had infiltrated the pack and several of our pack members were dead or injured. It was my brother.

“Where is Athena and Cess?” I asked him in a trembling voice.

"We haven't found them yet," he said and I saw darkness. My world went dark and my eyes went red.

I didn't care that I was with humans as I jumped from the tenth floor and ran. Yes, I ran because a car would have taken me longer to get there.

When I got home, everything was a mess. I didn't believe that rogues could do that unless they had inside help. What about all our warriors? What about my brother who was an alpha and would beat ten beta's alone and even other alphas?

But at that moment, all I had wanted was to find my wife and child.

I activated Cecil's watch which had a tracker that I hadn't told anyone about.

When I gave him the watch, I only asked him never to take it off even when he was taking a shower and he never did.

They were in the middle of the forest and I ran towards that part and what I saw left me numb.

My wife was curled on the dump floor holding our son to her in a protective stance. She has changed and was in her wolf form. 

Her beautiful brown fur was bloody and dirty.

Cecil wasn't moving and I felt my heart jump to my throat.

“Athena?” I called in a whisper as if shouting would take the breath from her.

She didn't turn or move her head and when I knelt before her, she looked at me, smiled and then closed her eyes.

She never woke up again.

I carried them both home, cleaned them, called the doctors for my son and stayed with Athena's body.

I dressed her in her favorite dress and she was cremated three days later and a funeral fit for a queen was held in her honour. If it wasn't for Cess, I would have gone with Athena.

But I knew she had held on to protect our son and so, I wasn't going to let her down.

But one thing her death did was make me lose hope in running the pack. 

I knew that I had been betrayed but I was too tired to care. If they wanted the pack, they could take it. 

If they loved and respected me as their alpha, they would have protected my wife. No one else had died. The rest had just been hurt and they were all superficial wounds. Thus, it was clear that they were there for my family. I was done with them. They didn't deserve my dedication nor my protection. 

Barely a month after Athena was buried, I was summoned by the elders. I hadn't attended any meetings because I was still in mourning and my son was still traumatized. He didn't speak and I knew he must have seen what they had done to his mom. I was not about to leave my son for people who didn't value me.

“What's wrong? I have to go back and be with Cecil," I had said immediately I sat on the conference table.

I sat at the head of the table and my brother franked my right and then the elders sat all around us.

“Alpha Edward… we… we feel that … first, we are sorry about what happened," Elder Jameson started but I wasn't in the mood for fake condolences.

"Just get to the point,” I told him as I rubbed my glabella.

I could feel an oncoming headache and I didn't want to snap at them.

I wanted to demand what they had done to protect my wife and where they were when they had been taken and how come no one else had died from the guards at the gate to those in the pack house but the rogues were able to get inside the pack, take my wife and child and leave with them.

It would be a bloodbath if I did and that's why I swallowed it. I was fed up. I was burnt out.

“We feel that you aren't suitable to lead the pack anymore," Elder Kane said and I just smiled.

“We feel that the reason why the rogues were able to breach our security is because you…”

"Is that all?" I asked even before the elder who was speaking could finish.

I knew that they had ready excuses written down and they were ready.

They didn't even give me the time to mourn my queen. They didn't even mourn their own queen. So, what was the need?

“What do you mean?" Elder Jameson asked.

“If there is nothing else, it's okay. I agree with you. You can choose whoever you want as your alpha. I will vacate the palace within a week," I said and with that I stood up and left.

 I went east yo Atlanta and I applied in a school and became a physics professor and that was when I first saw him in a class: Albert Hughes.

He was a boy of my son's age and he came to my office with my son asking me if I was going home.

“Ours!" Fire, my wolf, had said.

I didn't speak to him as I arranged my table, took my bag and smiled at them.

“Let's go," I told the two boys.

“Dad, this is Al, my new friend," Cess had said.

From that day, Albert became a part of my household. He was either in my house or Cess was in his house. We basically became a family.

I watched them grow and I saw Al stay by my side and the fire that was in his eyes.

And then, two summers ago, when he was sixteen, he found me in the attic as I sorted through my old junk. 

“Ed, I like you, can we be friends?" He had said and I swallowed.

“Read. You need to finish school first," I had said.

Fire laughed and was happy. He wanted Al and Al wanted us and so, I had to put a stop to it. He was so young. He was my son's age and what would that make me.

But Al didn't stop. He found me again when the college entrance examinations were about to be done.

I again shut him off with the same excuse. I watched as he worked hard and when he passed, I knew he would come again and this time, I didn't know what to tell him and so, I took advantage of the other boy, older who also wanted to be with me: Al's brother, Adrian.

That evening, I heard the jeep pack on the driveway. I heard as Al opened the door and I heard as he walked towards where we were and I lifted Adrian and placed him on the kitchen counter and this time, I allowed him to kiss me and I untacked my shirt and made myself look messy.

I heard the breath intake of the boy who was at the door and I heard something fall.

I heard as he turned and when he did, I broke the kiss and took a step away from Adrian.

“Are … are you okay?” Adrian had asked and I smiled awkwardly.

When my son told me that Al had left and hadn't said where he was, I was glad that he

would give up on me.

But why do I feel so broken? So empty?