Our Little Secret: In Love With My Professor

Al's POV

Pain.

That was what I was feeling as I left that kitchen. I didn't even make a sound. I didn't even let them know that I had seen them.

Adrian, my brother and Dr Edward, the man I had secretly loved and admired for years.

I have known Ed ever since I can remember. His son, Cecil, is my friend. Since I met his father, I literally moved into their house. If I was never at home, my parents knew where to find me. I was always around Cecil and we became inseparable.

Seeing his dad made my heart skip a beat and strange sensations ran throughout my body but I was too young to know what was happening to me then. All I knew was that I always wanted to be close to Ed. Thus, I would come up with all kinds of reasons and excuses to be near him.

When I was seventeen, I braved myself to approach him and tell him what I wanted, what I felt. I wanted to be with him. I was mature enough and I knew what I wanted and what I wanted was Professor Edward Green.

I found him on his patio and smiled at him when he looked up at me.

“Albert, how are you? Do you need anything?" He asked me and as I took the seat next to him, I felt naked.

It was as if he had seen through me.

“Where is Cess?” He asked me after a while.

It was getting dark and I had made sure that Cecil had gone out with his baseball friends and that he wouldn't see me talk to his dad.

"He's gone out with Sky and the others," I told him and he finished typing whatever it was he had been typing, stretched and then settled back in his seat.

“What's wrong? You are staring," he asked me and I blushed.

I felt the heat creep up from my neck to my ears and I knew I was turning pink.

“Proff, can we… ahem… can I…” I stuttered, all the words I had prepared having had evaporated and my mind was blank. 

He had that effect on me.

"What do you want to say," he asked me and there was a hint of impatience in his voice.

“I… can we be friends proff?” I managed and I looked at anywhere but at him.

“Kid, what about your studies? You are about to sit for your college entrance examinations and as far as I know, you don't perform well in Chemistry. Why don't you concentrate on that first and then we can talk after?" He said and I knew he was shutting me off.

Why did he have to call me ‘kid’? I know he is much older than I am but why did he have to make me feel small?

But if it was a challenge he wanted, then I was up for it.

He wanted me to pass Chemistry and I would. If that was what it would take for me to have him, then I would do it.

From that day, I poured my will and my being into studying and I did everything I could to cram and understand what I could and as I sat for the exams, I had one goal in mind: pass and then confess to Dr. Ed. I wanted him and I was going to have him.

After the exams, I continued going out with Cess but as usual, I would make sure to create opportunities to see his dad. For instance, instead of going out to a friend's house to watch a game, I would suggest his house and as such, I would run across the man who made my heart flutter.

One day, my older brother, Adrian, saw me staring at Dr Edward with butterflies in my eyes.

“What are you doing?" Adrian had asked me.

“I… ahem… nothing," I denied but the trembling in my voice sold me.

“I can see the way you look at him and you should stop. He's much older than you and he's not a good man. Also, what do you think our parents would do if they found out that they have a gay son and that the son is in love with someone of dad's age?” He asked me with a sneer and his look made me feel dirty.

Did he think that I wanted to be gay? Did he think that it was my choice? I know that as a werewolf, being gay is looked upon and it didn't help that my dad was a beta and I am supposed, no, I am expected to be as strong as him. Being gay therefore is a weakness and gay werewolves are looked down upon.

But I didn't and still don't care whether I am gay or not. All I knew was that I loved Ed and I wanted to be with him. I wanted to feel his touch on my skin and…. 

“How do you know he's a bad person?" I asked Adrian who was looking at me as if I was the scum of the earth.

"So, you don't deny that you are in love with him?" He asked me and I scoffed.

I was a grown man now and I didn't fear Adrian anymore.

“Why would I deny it?" I asked.

“Just stay away from him if you don't want to regret," he said and it sounded like a threat but I didn't care.

I walked away and went to my computer to see if the college entrance examination results were out and how I had performed.

I was a nervous wreck as I booted the machine because this would determine if I got to be with Ed or not.

I had passed! 

Thank you!

And now, it was time and I started planning.

I wasn't planning a grand confession or anything elaborate, all I wanted was to ask him to give me a chance. All I wanted was for him to get to know me and see that I genuinely cared and loved him.

His wife was dead and I didn't see the reason why we shouldn't be together.

I bought flowers, bought a new shirt, and used almost half of my savings to book a table for two in a five star hotel in the human world.

I knew he would love it and again, I chose an evening when I knew that Cess was out with Sky.

I parked my Jeep on the driveway and took the bouquet from the passenger seat and made sure that my clothes were okay and then walked towards the main house.

I was literally bouncing because I had aced all my papers and now, he didn't have any reason to refuse me.

I didn't knock because this was literally my second home and so, I let myself in.

When I entered, I smelled them almost immediately. Adrian and Dr Edward.

I had grown with Adrian sharing a bathroom and would know his scent even from a mile away and I knew Dr Edward inside out.

I walked towards the kitchen and I wasn't secretive about it and I froze in the doorway and it was clear why they hadn't heard me.

There, at the kitchen counter, sat Adrian with Ed between his legs and they were kissing and their clothes were tussled.

Ed's shirt was untacked and it was a rare sight to see him dishevelled like that.

My heart stopped and I felt as if life was being squeezed out of me.

Adrian, my brother, and the man I loved.

Adrian, the man who had told me that Dr Ed was a bad man.

I didn't know how I turned, or how the bouquet fell or how I got to the jeep and fired it.

I took my phone and dialled Cecil and opted for a voicemail. I didn't trust myself with a voice call.

            “Hey man? I've got to skip town.

              Will call you sometime.”    

And with that, I started driving.

Where was I going?

I had no idea.

All I knew is

that I had to leave. I had to go as far as I could from here.