Yuki's POV My eyelids groaned open, and my head immediately pounded like a drum kit on fire.What. the bloody hell?I frantically tried to sit up, then hesitated halfway through the motion.This wasn't my room.This wasn't even a place I recognized.Soft, natural light streamed through strange cream-colored curtains. The air was filled with the smell of vanilla and old wood. The bed beneath me was much too soft—like it was hungry and wanted to swallow me up—and the sheets most certainly didn't belong to me. The bedside table next to the bed contained a glass of partially consumed water, an unopened package of crackers, and—Oh.Oh no.Lube.There was lube on the table.Like one of those small clear tubes with the orange tip, lying there like a smoking gun. My eyes widened, and every single cell in my body yelled STRANGER DANGER."AAAHHH!" I cried out, leaping backward like a cartoon character who saw a ghost. The sheets became all rumpled around me as I pulled half the blanket with m
Zara's PovAlready past 2 AM when I half-carried myself back to my room, heels dangling from my hand and toes numb from all the walking. I closed the door slowly, cautiously, as if I was hiding something from the walls themselves. Yesterday, I submitted my letter of resignation to Creed and said goodbye to that suffocating office.And today? Or tonight?I'd gone to a freaking all-night aquarium with Zed. What the heck does that? He did. It had been one of the weirdest, stupidest things I'd ever done. And yet, somehow, it'd been magical. Underwater tunnels, jellyfish lanterns, eerie still broken only by the rush of water and our laughter. I'd laughed more tonight than in months. He was silly. So silly. And I. I was starting to like silly.But now it wasn't a single thing. Zed and I had been sneaking around a lot. Since that night, the night that changed everything. He'd started showing up more. Picking me up, dragging me to weird locations—a smoldering bookstore smelling of cinnamon an
Creed's POV I barely knew myself anymore.Once, I had known precisely who I was—a man with a plan, a citadel of mastery wearing designer suits and unyielding boardroom behemoth. Now, I was something different. Something unknown. Something. volatile.I stood before the board of directors, drenched in applause, handshake, and flash photography as I signed the final documents on a multi-million-dollar merger that had brought the company to the edge of bankruptcy. A hand clapped somewhere. Possibly. Grins were being hurled about like rice at a wedding reception. I was the bridegroom, I suppose, but I was not wedded to anything.In fact, I was divorced—divorced from myself.I'd drawn this out for months, couldn't think, couldn't shake my head clear of the gutters. My head was a war zone since I returned from that funeral two weeks ago. And no, not just any funeral—the one that made me question if I was even human anymore. It all unraveled after that.Yuki.The very mention of his name in
Yuki's POVJapan was different now.Not because the skyscrapers had changed or the wind burned colder. No. Because of me. I was different. I had stepped off that plane with color, loud laughter, flamboyant pants, and shiny lip gloss. Now I was drab. Dull. Fractured in places I didn't even realize I had.I dragged my feet out of the airport, not even bothering to call for a cab. My backpack was as heavy as lead, yet I wore it. The cold air stung at my skin, but I didn't flinch. My eyes were dry from crying too much on the plane, yet still, I could see him everywhere. Roman. My grandpa. The man who hummed while making tea. The man who had forgotten my name one day and remembered it the next with tears in his eyes.He was gone.And Creed? Creed had pushed me so hard, I wasn't certain that I would be able to make it back.I did not want to feel anything.So I ended up going to the only place where feelings could be drowned out in flashing lights and thumping bass.A club.Not one of the f
I don't know how I got on the rooftop.Hell, I don't even know how I got to the funeral.Grandpa Roman wasn't a bad man, at least. I never got a chance to really know him, though. We never really saw eye to eye at all. Half the time, he didn't even recall my name, let alone that I was his grandson. But in the brief time we shared, the man was. kind. Sweet, even. In a soft, old-fashioned way. The kind of way that invited more time. The kind of way that made you believe the world wasn't quite shattered.So I came. I came to pay my respects. The least I could do.What I didn't know what to do with… was his grandson.Yuki.God, just mentioning his name tightened my chest. My palms were slippery, and the recollection of him smacked me all over again. The manner he laughed, spoke, paced, lied—I wasn't planning on going up onto the roof. I wasn't with him. I wasn't even thinking. I was walking, pacing, breathing, and then, suddenly, I was there. Up on the rooftop, a mile or so from the ceme
Yuki's POVIt was raining. Of course it was raining.I huddled with Lily under the weeping gray sky, wrapping my hands around the rim of the black umbrella that spanned above both our heads, but the chill crept into my bones anyway. The cemetery smelled like damp earth and dying flowers. Everyone dressed in black. Everyone whispered.I didn't. I couldn't.I gazed and gazed at the closed casket as if if I looked long enough, it would open with a creak and Grandpa Roman would just sit up complaining about how cold his feet were, or how Suzu was hungry for breakfast, or something ridiculous like, "Yuyu, my nails need to be clipped. They're scratching the bed."He didn't. He never would.I didn't know there could be a drowning in grief. That you were attempting to gasp in a sea of air, but it was all for the rest of them, not you.The priest's words continued, gentle and solemn. I didn't listen to a single word. My eyes hurt, but I couldn't cry. Not yet. Not until I could get something o
Yuki's POVThe world just went on. It kept spinning and breathing and laughing like it hadn't just exploded around me. Birds chirped outside the window. City lights blinked in the curtains. People walked by, dragging their suitcases and their coffee cups and their conversation, like the earth hadn't swallowed someone I loved.But I couldn't budge.I slumped in the same position on the edge of my bed , back hunched over, palms suspended loosely between knees. I didn't know if it was day or night anymore. I only knew that my chest hurt as if something sharp had been stuck inside it, and my eyes were puffy from all the tears.Grandpa Roman passed away.I wasn't there.He had probably called me, and I was not there.My phone rang every so often. Missed calls. Messages. Work. Lily. At last, I got up. Not because I wanted to. Because I had to.I fell into the shower and adjusted the water to cold. My knees landed on the bottom of the tub, and I let the water come down on me in a raging tor
MYuki's POVThey'd been talking for a while now—Luke, Hana, and me. Luke and Hana, mostly. I was just sitting here like a wet marshmallow, nodding my head and pretending I was listening when my mind was running in circles."Yuki," I received a soft nudge from Hana's elbow. "Are you even here with us?"I blinked. "Huh? What? Oh, yeah. Sorry. I was thinking about Lily."Luke leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Look, man. I get it. But maybe you fired a bit too soon. Lily's been there for you through a lot, hasn't she? If she wasn't answering before, I'm sure she had a reason."Hana nodded. "Yeah, I mean, I'd be devastated too if I were you. Grandpa Roman is, not doing very well. But Lily wouldn't just leave you hanging without a reason. Maybe try calling her again?"Their words were gentle, soft as silk, and they struck hard. Guilt started to brew under my skin like a pot ready to boil. They were right. I had no right to strike out. Not at her. Not when she was probably j
Lily's POVRain pounded against the windshield in mad sheets as Creed's truck roared through the city. My heart beat a quicker pace than the tires ate up ground. I was late. Again. Shit. Why did it have to rain this one day out of all days? I gripped my purse hard, feeling the wetness of the scrub pants pucker against my legs. The rain had not been kind to me. Neither had traffic."I said I ought to have driven," I grumbled, half-to-myself and half-to-Creed, who smiled and apologized for nothing. Typical."You were lucky I just happened to be in the area, squirt," he drawled, his gaze sweeping the road. "Now get that promotion before your boss eats you for lunch."I did not stop to reply. My nerves were already thin enough.I burst into the hospital and hurried by the entrance like a fire woman. My soles squawked on the shining tiled ground as I sprinted along the corridor. Water dripped from my hair and coat, making a puddle trail behind me, but I didn't care. I thrust open the glas