Jaxsen had been quieter than normal when she picked him up from school. She’d kept her eye on him once they got home. He just curled up in the corner of the couch writing in his journal. Sensing he needed the time she mainly left him be, tousling his hair as she walked by, kissing the top of his head. She knew touch was comforting, and wanted to let him know he wasn’t alone.
A few hours before Sebastian was due home, Nizhoni sat in the recliner reading Steven King’s ‘IT’ when Jaxsen gently shut his journal, walked over and crawled into her lap. Closing and setting the book aside, she wrapped him in her arms and began rocking the chair gently. She kissed his forehead and noticed silent tears tracking down his reddened cheeks.
“Yanaha, my love, why the tears?” He curled himself into a tighter ball an
“Jaxsen, come on, it’s time for school.” Sebastian called, taking one more gulp from his coffee mug. Jaxsen was supposed to have gotten dressed and come back down, but had yet to return. “Jaxsen!” he called a bit louder this time at the bottom of the stairs, frowning when he still did not inherit a return refutation. With a sigh he started up the stairs.“Jaxsen?” He knocked before entering and any irritation he may have felt was vanquished in an instant. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, his backpack between his feet, torn fragments of paper clutched in his hands. He wasn’t crying but Sebastian could see he had been. He stared into the nothing, completely lost in his own mind.“Jack?” He said kneeling down, his hands on the boy’s.“I&rsquo
“Well, apparently, they’d been picking on him for some time now. Something he kept hidden from me until Monday. See, Mr. Lawry, Jaxsen’s parents were both killed in front of him. He’s gone through a lot in the past couple years. His mother, shortly before her death, bought him a journal. It was his most prized possession. The boys cornered him in the bathroom after school Friday, threw him into a bench and destroyed it. He doesn’t want to come back. Also I found evidence of bruising from when he hit the bench, and older ones from other times he was cornered.”Mr. Lawry nodded and thought for a moment. “Such a shame the morals children are taught these days. If you ask me, I’d say the lot of them need a good few swats with a large belt.” He shook his head. “I will apply an apt punishment to those boys. I am sorry such callowness and lack of amity c
“They’re ugly to me. Ugly reminders of ‘the Before Time.’ I’m scared…” He admitted this last confession so softly that if she hadn’t been able to read lips she’d have not known he’d spoken at all.“Of what, sweet boy?”He took a hitching breath, wrapping his arms around hers which circled his torso. “I’m scared that I’ll never see anything else but the remains of what they did. I don’t want to remember them every time I see myself. Because I do. I remember every scar.” He traced a particularly large one just under his rib cage on his right side.“Know what this one is from?” She shook her head. “Mr. Grady did it.” He said nothing more as if that explained everything.
“My sweet, Yanaha!” she exclaimed, scooping him up in her arms and kissing all over his face. He giggled and shrieked, throwing his head back, fully trusting she wouldn’t let him fall.Still giggling he said, “Guess what?”“What, baby?”“I made a friend! A real friend!” Her excitement matched his enthusiasm.“Yeah? That’s great, baby. I’m so proud of you.” He giggled again. “I’ve got your snack all ready for you. Wanna tell me about your day while you eat it?”“Yeah!” She set him on his feet and he scampered over to the table where she set a bowl of rice pudding and an apple Snapple in front of him. He grinned, du
Neither one had brought up Jaxsen’s slip of calling him ‘Daddy’, nor did Jaxsen repeat it. Sebastian longed to hear that word toward him again, and until such time he would wait patiently, if with an aching heart. He sighed to himself knowing that before it would happen again or ever on a regular basis, he would have to confess things kept close to his soul.“What’s for dinner?” Jaxsen asked as he grabbed his favorite Snapple from the fridge and a Granny Smith apple from a bowl on the counter before sitting down at the kitchen table.Nizhoni laughed. “Steak, corn, potatoes and macaroni and cheese,” she said as she set his snack of rice pudding in front of him. Jaxsen dipped his apple into it with a satisfied smile. Sebastian made a face at Jaxsen&rsq
When Jaxsen awoke he was aware of two things: it was much brighter in his room than it should be and the date. November twenty-first. Today he was nine years old. He had mixed feelings about today. After he woke he wondered why Sebastian hadn’t made him get up for school. Nizhoni, who moved in almost two weeks ago, hadn’t roused him, either. He frowned, pondering. His two previous birthdays were nothing to be remembered. He squeezed his eyes shut against the memories that threatened to overwhelm.Dispelling the flooding images, he crawled from bed realizing that he was hungry. He came downstairs to find Nizhoni sitting alone on the couch reading Moby Dick. She smiled brightly upon seeing him, setting aside the hard back. He smiled sleepily in return and rubbing his eyes he crawled into her lap. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close, and placed a gentle kiss to his cheek. He sighed
“Hey, babe,” Sebastian said to Nizhoni when he came through the door a couple of weeks after Jaxsen’s birthday. He tenderly kissed her. “Where’s Jack?” he asked looking around, a bit more than a little disappointed when he hadn’t come running.It was Thursday, December fifth. He had noticed Jaxsen’s change in demeanor once December began. Still, he had always greeted him with big hugs, especially on the days that he couldn’t pick him up from school.Nizhoni looked up. “His room. He went straight there when we got home. He hasn’t spoken since I picked him up and he hasn’t come down. Something happened today. I tried, but he wouldn’t talk. Maybe you’ll have better luck.”“Think it’s just the time of year?”
When Sebastian stood from the bed Jaxsen reached out for him, never once doubting that his request would be reciprocated. Sebastian picked him up, hugging him close.“I love you, Bastian.”Sebastian smiled, his eyes close to tearing up. “I love you, too, Jaxsen.” He smiled again before placing Jaxsen on his feet.“You want me to help you pick this all up?” Sebastian pointed to the contents of the little red shoe box scattered across the mattress.“No, I can do it.”Sebastian nodded. Truth be told he didn’t want to leave him yet and was fishing for an excuse to stay. “Okay. I’ll meet you downstairs, then.”