May 21

Most of the times when I am in a bad mood and I talk, I spit out rubbish knowing fully well it will only worsen my condition. I have never really understood why people used to cut. It doesn't make sense to me at all when I start to imagine a human being sitting all alone in a dark corner, crying, holding a knife by his or her side and shredding his or her skin with the knife. I guess it feels good to cut sometimes. It takes away the pain you feel inside of you immediately your blood starts flowing away from your body. I guess it makes you to become more aware of how useless you are to the society you find yourself in. 

I know I will not grab a knife and cut my skin because I have tried to do it several times but can't get over the image of blood gushing out from my black skin. It terrifies me as much as running naked on a blind date. Even if no one is at home, I can't go to a secret corner, sit all alone and cut myself.