Poppie

Poppie

It didn’t have to be this way. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a choice in the matter. However, everything happens for a reason. Why this shit happened to me, I really don’t know.

I didn’t ask to be born, but I was. I didn’t really have a fucking choice. And here I am trying to figure out my life, without any directions.

I aged out of the system, so I’ve been on my own since I was 18 yrs old. Here I am 5 yrs later, still struggling just as hard as I did when I was in the facility.

I got my friend, Shayla, who helps me out from time to time. She hooked me up with the temp job she works with, so I make money, just not a lot. Right now, I have a studio apartment but by the way shit keeps happening, I may be losing it too. Rent seems to be going up across the city and my landlord is an asshole.

I don’t know if he actually owns the building or if he just works for the person who does but this motherfucker gets on my last nerves. Every time he sees me, he always smiles and calls me “Snowflake”. Like I’m the only white girl living in the fucking building. I think just because I’m young, he thinks I don’t know when I’m being preyed upon. I know he wants to fuck me, I can tell how he looks at me. I don’t want to go down that road with him because I know that road won’t end well.

It’s 5:00 am and I gotta get my ass ready for work. I didn’t think I would be working in an office, but Shayla helped me with my resume and the temp agency. They have been keeping me busy with a job, but since I don’t have many skills, I don’t get the opportunity to get paid that much. White privilege my ass, ain’t none of that shit going on here. I think that shit hit differently anyway, because that shit only works for the white people with money, because my bitch ass has been white since I was born and I’ve been struggling since I could remember.

I don’t even know my mom or dad. I think they weren’t ready for a kid so they left me behind to live their lives. Who knows? I don’t give a fuck really because they didn’t give a fuck about me. They just wanted to fuck and have fun without all the consequences of said fuck.

As I look in the mirror while I’m brushing my teeth, I see another freckle has popped up on my face. This one is above my left eyebrow. I don’t have a lot of freckles but a few have dotted my face over the years. They match my red curly hair that flows down my back. I don’t know which of my parents gave me red hair but it makes me fucking noticeable.

I stared into the mirror, looking myself directly into my hazel eyes, wishing my life was just a little bit different. I was so alone, I had no one. Then my phone rang.

It was Shayla. I had at least one person.

“Hey Shayla.” I answered after spitting out my toothpaste.

“Hey Bitch, how you?”

“Tired as fuck. I don’t wanna go to work today.”

“I know, but that party was lit last night, right?”

“Yeah it was, but why you have it in the middle of the fucking week?”

“Shit, I didn’t even know all them damn people were coming through,” she said as I heard start the car. She was on her way to come and pick me up. “Mike ain’t tell me shit. He knew but didn’t let me know nothing.”

“It’s all good, it was fun, I’m just tired as fuck right now.”

“Well Bitch, wake the fuck up, take you a hit and get ready cuz a Bitch is on the way.”

“You gonna have time to smoke?”

“Shit, watchu think? I gotta start the day right, so yes I will.”

“A’ight. I’ll have it rolled up by the time you get here.” I disconnected the phone and left the bathroom.

Shayla was a friend who I had known all my life in the facility. She got out about 2 years before me, as her aunt let her come and live with her but we would hang everyday. Her boyfriend, Mike, who was a bit older than us, had a place for us to hang out. He would come around the facility to pick Shayla up from time to time. When she had to leave, she told me she would come back for me and she kept her promise.

Shayla was the only person who would look after me. We were always together like sisters. We were together so much, the staff thought we were really sisters. We didn’t tell them differently, because it didn’t matter. To me, she was my big sister because she took care of me like a big sister would, even though we were the same age.

I twisted my hair up into a messy bun and grabbed my Rick & Morty stash can so I could roll a couple of blunts for us to smoke. As soon as I opened the top the beautiful smell of ganja, whiffed across my nose. It was some good shit.

Just as I finished rolling the second blunt, the doorbell buzzed - Shayla had made it over. I buzzed her in as I lit one of the blunts. While I inhaled deeply, the ‘cherry’ glowed an amber red.

Shayla walked through the door dressed to impress for her job. She stood about 5′5", shapely with hips, thick thighs and fat ass. Her smooth butter pecan colored skin glowed as she had used the body butter with glitter. I could see her skin shine as she sat down on the only couch I could put in this place.

“Good morning. You looking good and smelling good.”

“Thank you Boo,” she said as she received the blunt I passed. “I was like let me look at least decent today cuz a Bitch is tired too.” Shayla inhaled on the blunt and closed her eyes.

“I feel you. I got this outfit for today,” I said, holding up a pair of black slacks and a royal blue blouse with white polka dots and short, puffy sleeves.

“Oh that’s cute. That will bring out your freckles. You always look good in blue.” Shayla said as she passed the blunt to me.

“Thanks. So what y’all doing this weekend? Y’all having another party?”

“Yeah girl. Mike got some of his guys coming in from out of town so he wants to have a nice party so he can sell and we can make some money.”

“Well I will be there. I need to get my shit tapped just right.”

“Yeah, them fuckers last night wasn’t into shit but smoking and bones. I think they were gay.” Shayla said and I almost choked.

Mike and Shayla have these parties from time to time called‘Play Parties’. A select group of people are invited over to their house where we have a nice get-together were we drink, Mike sells a selection of goodies and sometimes, there would be some guys who want to fuck.

That’s where me and Shayla would come in. Mike and Shayla were swingers so Mike didn’t give a fuck what or who Shayla did as long as she was loyal to him. When it came time to fuck, they had to pay up front before they get to tap.

It really didn’t matter to me honestly, it was just sex. I have no connection with anyone in that department to even think past fucking. It’s just temporary pleasure and I get paid. I’ve never felt anything for anyone and I didn’t plan to, so there was no need for me to catch any kind of feelings with any of them motherfuckers. They only saw me as a piece of ass anyway.

“Why you think that?” I finally managed to get out.

“Cuz they weren’t trying to hit shit, they weren’t into pussy. They wanted to ride and spin on the pole.” Shayla said in between the puffs of the blunt. “They wanted to bust a nut into a niggas mouth while riding.”

“Yo ass stupid as fuck!” I laughed and Shayla joined.

“You know they was Bitch, you know I’m telling the truth.”

“They were looking at Mike pretty hard. One kept following Mike throughout the house.”

“Yeah Mike told me about him. He was gay. Mike had been knowing him for a while but he thought he would bring at least a few straight niggas to come and play. But this nigga only came with gay motherfuckers looking to get their dick sucked while getting fucked.”

“Well gay people need love too.”

“True, but damn. I really wanted to make some dollas last night.”

“I feel you, so did I.”