Forbidden Affection!

I stared at him for a long moment, not knowing what to say to him or how to make my emotions know to him. Should I hug him, kiss him? No, I can’t just jump on him. To be honest, I don’t know what to feel.

“I didn’t think you’d listen,” I said quietly.

He smiled faintly with a wink, “Am a hard nut to crack, I don’t always do as I’m told.”

For a moment, neither of us spoke.

I wanted to say something casual, but the words wouldn’t come.

He walked over slowly, stopping just far enough to be polite, but close enough that I could feel the warmth of his body. “You look tired,” he said softly.

“I’ve been busy.”

“Or maybe you just have a lot going on in your mind… like you were thinking too much…” he said and that made me glance up sharply.

“What! Okay fine, I overthink, but you can’t understand.”

He gave a small knowing smile that didn’t reach his ear.

“I think I do.”

His face was only inches from mine; I felt his breath on my face, the minty coolness of his breath, and I looked up at him with uncertainty and wanting. We stood like this for what felt like an hour, possibly more like five minutes. Just as I was about to say something, he leaned down to kiss me, but I moved my face away, coughing lightly before his lips could touch mine.

I gulped down my saliva and turned away, pretending to focus on a stack of papers.

“You shouldn’t say things like that.”

“Why not?” he asked with a smile.

“Because…” My voice faltered. “Because, people have started to talk.”

“Let them, they own their mouth, right?” he said playfully.

His calmness made me want to scream. ‘Oh boy, how the fuck could you be so unaffected while my entire world felt off balance?’ 

When he finally left that afternoon, he didn’t touch me; he didn’t even say anything suggestive. But his parting words lingered long after the door closed behind him.

“I missed seeing you too, Poppy.”

I sat there, staring at the spot where he had stood, my heart racing so fast it hurt.

*******

After Asher came back to the office, nothing was said about his absence. He didn’t ask for forgiveness, and I didn’t offer an explanation. We simply fell back into our rhythm, only this time, it felt different. Yea, things were calm and quiet but every word of his seemed to carry a second meaning.

I tried to act normal and pretend that his return didn’t have any effect on me. But the truth was, I had missed him more than I cared to admit. The sound of his voice, the small jokes he threw at me, the way he leaned against the doorway…. With his hands in his pants pocket, damn those cute seductive eyes that lingered on me for minutes, it all came rushing back, and with it came the ache I had been trying to silence.

And to make it awkward, he noticed everything. The way I avoided his gaze and the way my voice softened with a sweet smile plastered on my lips each time I said his name. And for my other female colleagues, they wouldn’t stop talking about him… I bet we all have a crush on him. Even those that talked down on his character still managed to show they all wanted him.

*******

One afternoon, he came by with a cup of coffee. “You looked like you needed it,” he said, handing me the cup.

I hesitated before taking it. “Trying to bribe me with a cup of coffee? Awwn.”

He smiled, “Maybe just trying to stay in your good books.”

His hand brushed mine lightly as I took the cup, and even that small touch sent a wave of warmth through my body… I tried to focus on my work, but the smell of coffee … and him… was just too much for me to ignore… his existence in that little space of mine was a distraction and temptation that intoxicate me.

“Asher,” I said finally, not looking up. “We need to keep things… simple.”

“Are they not simple enough now?” he asked softly.

I sighed. “Don’t play that innocent card with me Asher, you know what I mean.”

“I do,” he replied. “But pretending not to care doesn’t make the feeling go away.”

I froze. My pen slipped from my hand and rolled across the desk. “What feeling?”

He leaned closer, his voice barely above a whisper. “The one you’ve been trying to ignore since the first time I saw you. Or should I say the first time you set your eyes on me.”

I swallowed hard, refusing to look at him.

“Asher, that’s not fair.” Yeah, I mean how can he say something like that out loud? It was just a secret fantasy I had for him. No, I can’t accept it.

“Neither is what you’re doing to yourself,” he said gently. “Fighting something that’s already there is not the way out of this. Poppy, you need to stop punishing yourself; Stop being hard on yourself by keeping your feelings and emotions locked in. You need to free your mind.”

I stood abruptly, my chair scraping against the floor with a screeching sound. “What, Asher! I’m married, fucking married to your friend.”

He looked at him calmly, like what I had just said didn’t mean a thing to him. “I know you are married, Poppy, to my friend and colleague David. And I’m not asking for anything, I just… like being near you, that’s all… I’m not asking for the impossible Poppy.”

The sincerity in his voice broke something inside me. I wanted to be angry, to tell him to stop, or walk myself. But instead, I found myself sitting down again, my hands trembling slightly.

The rest of the day passed in uneasy silence. He stayed in the office longer than usual, pretending to review files while I typed meaningless words on my laptop. Neither of us said anything, but the air between us felt charged… like a storm that refused to break.

When he finally stood to leave, he paused by the door, turned to me and said playfully.

“You don’t have to be afraid of me, Poppy.”

I looked up, my voice soft. “It’s not you I’m afraid of.”

He gave me a long, searching look. “Then who?”

My lips parted, but no words came. Because the truth was, I was afraid of myself.

That night, at home, David kissed me goodnight and told me he loved me. His voice was steady, certain, comforting. I whispered the words back, but they felt heavy on my tongue. I meant them, but there was something else beneath them…. Those dark feelings that I dare not admit. The thought of cheating on my husband, damn it. I looked at my husband and the thought of the possibility that I had fallen out of love with him crossed my mind, but I quickly shook it off… I turned to my husband and kissed him gently, telling him how much I love and appreciate him. I tried to bring up some of our sweet memories, and we talked and laughed about it and that helped me to take my mind off Asher.

The next Thursday, while I was driving to work, I told myself I’d keep my distance. I’d focus on work and ignore the pull, stay strong. But when I walked into the office and saw him there early, sitting by my desk like a demi god with two coffees and an infectious smile plastered across his handsome face…. I felt my resolve crumble. Yea, did I not just warn myself to keep a distance? He sure knows how to make a woman feel special.

“You shouldn’t have,” I said quietly.

“I know,” he replied. “But I wanted to.”

He handed me the cup, and our fingers brushed again. Neither of us moved. For a long second, we just stood there, suspended between sense and desire, between what was right and what felt inevitable.

I pulled my hand away, breaking the moment. “We can’t keep doing this, it’s not right,” I said.

He nodded slowly. “Then tell me to stop.”

I opened my mouth, but not a single word came out of it. Because as much as I wanted to say the words, I knew they would be a lie.

He studied me, and then gave a faint smile…

“That’s what I thought.”

When he left that afternoon, I sat at my desk long after he was gone, staring at the half-empty cup of coffee. The scent lingered, warm and bittersweet.

It hit me then… this was how it started, a secret confession… but with small moments that built walls around reason and cracks around guilt and wants.

And though I hadn’t crossed any visible line, I knew I was standing dangerously close to one.