03

Riley

Things were rocky for a while but it didn’t take too long for me to adjust to life in the countryside. The first few months were difficult but I’ve adjusted and even grown more than I expected to.

I now run a local coffee shop during the day with my grandmother and our neighbor, everything was going on well but one thing I wasn’t expecting that hit me like a cannonball was the fact that I wound up pregnant.

Five months ago, all I was hell bent on doing was to make my life perfect, I wanted to finish college and be everything that my father would want me to be. I wanted to get a job and make my life better but things changed that day.

I’d fallen sick and it was so serious that I had to go to the hospital for a few blood tests. I'd thought that maybe being in the countryside was taking a toll on me but that wasn’t it.

“Congratulations, Riley, you’re pregnant.” The doctor had said and I could swear with my life that there was no difference between the news and getting hit on the face with a bat because that was how I felt, like I’d gotten hit in my face with a bat.

How could I have gotten pregnant?

I remembered thinking if doctors were stupid and why they thought that every news of pregnancy was good, most people don’t really want to get pregnant but they go ahead and start to relay the news by congratulating the expecting mother.

I had just enrolled into the college in the countryside and I was even trying to come up with a business idea but with this baby on the way, it felt like I was going to have to put my entire life on hold.

It felt as though things got worse just when I thought that it was supposed to get better, I was so screwed up that the pregnancy led me into straying from those that loved me.

I drifted from the world completely because the negative thoughts were eating me up too much and I didn’t want to affect people around me with that. I had doubts and questions.

I didn’t know if I wanted the child, I didn’t know if I was going to be able to rise to the task because right now, I could barely take care of myself. How can I possibly add a baby into all of this?

I cried my eyes out especially anytime I remembered that my mother abandoned me because she didn’t want me.

Am I going to do the same to my child?

My second reason for the doubt was the fact that I had absolutely no idea who the baby belonged to. It could be Noah, my ex boyfriend who cheated on me with my best friend or Charles.

My best friend’s father, the stranger I slept with when I was under the influence of alcohol.

The thought of that alone was enough to make me feel like killing myself but the baby is innocent, I couldn’t possibly do that to a child that was basically just blood then.

The baby is innocent, it shouldn’t have to suffer for my mistakes and I was conflicted. I eventually confided in my grandmother and the support has been massive.

With my grandmother and my friend who also happens to be our neighbor by my side, it didn’t feel like anything I should be scared of. I was able to put all of my worries aside and be happy again.

I was able to laugh genuinely without having to worry about the baby I was bringing to this world, I was able to eat and with the coffee shop, work.

“I’m here!” Brian’s voice and the sound of the bell positioned by the door jolted me out of my thoughts as I lifted my gaze to see him smiling as he made his way towards me with a bouquet of flowers.

“I told you to stop bringing me these, the smell makes me feel like—“ everything I wanted to say got stuck in my throat when I took in a whiff and instead of barfing, it was actually soothing.

“You like it, don’t you?” Brian asked as he hugged me before kissing my forehead and I smiled with a nod. Brian is my neighbor and also the main reason I haven’t given up on my life and the baby yet.

He’s one of my main support systems and the only man I have in my life that showers me with so much love and gifts despite knowing that I wasn’t ready to be in a relationship with anyone.

“I made sure I told the florist that I didn’t want one that would affect you and—“ Brian started explaining but the whole time I could’ve sworn that I felt someone looking at me.

The gaze was so intense that not only did it make my skin crawl, it also gave me goosebumps but the moment I turned there was nobody there, I was staring right outside, at people minding their own business.

My stomach had gotten really big and my baby bump so visible that Brian never misses a chance at rubbing and kissing it and I could swear that the baby liked him too because they kicked anytime he touched and whenever they kicked too hard, Brian only had to touch it and it stopped.

Everyone around assumed Brian is my husband and neither of us did anything to clear the confusion because I liked how it gave other men the impression that I was married.

It kept me safe in the countryside and that was all that mattered.

It was getting late and Brian and I were packing while he told me what happened when he was out at the supermarket to get some supplies for me.

“ I mean, what is the deal with looking at a man weirdly just because he’s in the female section?” He asked and we both laughed.

My stomach ached for a while, making me wince as I brushed it off to be one of the usual pains but this was different, it didn’t stop even after five minutes.

“Riley, are you okay?” Brian asked but his voice sounded slurred and my vision had started getting blurry as I groaned, “Riley, you’re… you’re….“ He didn’t have to say it, I already saw what he was about to tell me.

I looked down to see a pool of blood under me and I couldn’t help but scream as Brian held me. My heart raced and I started panting, I was engulfed in fear, so much fear that I couldn’t stop thinking or talking.

“I can’t, Brian, I can’t lose my baby, we have to do something.” I cried even though Brian was already doing something, he was helping me out of the coffee shop and into the truck.

My head pounded and fear thrummed in my heart like a drum. I didn’t want to lose my child even though I haven’t met him or her yet. It took me a while to accept the fact that the child would be a blessing to me, I didn’t want to lose it.

I could’ve sworn that I heard a loud bell ringing in my head before everything went completely dark and silent.

“Oh my god! Oh my god, you’re awake! I was so worried, I was scared.” Brian’s voice was the first sound I heard when I fluttered my eyes open and soon the sound of the EKG machine came.

It took me a while to register what was going on and where I was, Brian looked scared and his face showed it so well that he couldn’t have hidden it.

“My baby,” I muttered, “My baby.” I repeated as the tears trickled down my cheeks and my grip around Brian’s hand tightened.

“Your babies or at least the rest of them are fine,” another voice answered and I looked to see the doctor, “you lost one of them but the rest are hale and hearty although we had to bring them out early.” She continued.

“One of them? Bring them out early?” I asked, my voice bridled with confusion as I spoke and the doctor nodded affirmatively before explaining further.

“You see, you were actually pregnant with triplets but because of the great deal of stress you’ve put yourself through and your high blood pressure, you lost one of them.” She paused as if to check if we could understand.

“You lost one of your babies, Riley, leaving you with only two but the other two are okay.”