Chapter 18

Zach’s POV

“So, are you going to say something?”

The thinning patience in Ryder’s voice was hard to miss, and I honestly couldn’t blame him for it.

I had spent the past five minutes stumbling over the words in my head, trying to figure how to even start the conversation. And it dawned on me that I had come here with a lot of morale and no plan.

And now I just looked stupid.

“Something has been bothering me for a while now, and I just got some information that points it to you,” I started, saying whatever came to my head and resolving to deal with the consequences later.

Instantly, I noticed the way his eyebrows furrowed but he didn’t say anything, only stood there with his arms folded.

“Apart of me wanted to deny it at first but the evidence is jarring, and the whole thing is not really something I would put past you-”

“Zach.” His voice was low and firm yet it still made me jump. I held his gaze for a moment, they didn’t seem angry, but they weren’t welcoming either.

“What are you talking about?” he finished, letting the silence carry his voice as I swallowed.

“I know that you’ve been stalking me,” I blurted. His eyes widened for a fraction and his lips parted but I continued before he could say anything.

“About a week ago was when I first noticed your shadow outside my window, back then I waved it off but after that I just kept on seeing you and I realized it had probably been going on long before I noticed.”

I looked up at him and the defensiveness in his eyes was gone, now replaced with a look of serious attention. I couldn’t tell if it was because this was all strange to him or that I’d had him cornered.

I continued anyway.

“I never suspected you at first, for one the timing didn’t add up. But let’s face it, I barely get any attention in school, it’s almost like I’m a ghost. Who would want to stalk me?”

“And in your answer to that you arrived at me?” Finally, a response. Subtle denial, at least now I knew where he stood.

“No, in fact I came to the conclusion that I wasn’t even the one being stalked. I wanted to gather evidence because I would be ridiculed if I went to the authorities with surface level accusations.”

“That’s bullshit! The moment you noticed this creep; you should’ve told someone.”

My eyebrows furrowed at his lecture. “I don’t expect you to know this, but the rules are unfairly different for someone like me. One wrong statement without enough proof and the whole thing could be twisted against me.”

“And what about me?”

His words carried the air for a moment. This had taken a very different turn from what I was expecting.

“What about you?” my voice was low, an attempt to hide the confusion that laced it.

“Why didn’t you say anything to me all this while?”

Suddenly I understood what was going on. It was the same game he played the last time I was here, faking his concern so I could let my guard down. I wouldn’t fall for it this time.

“What is this, Ryder? I already told you, I know it’s you.”

“Can you stop saying that? Do you even understand the weight of what you’re implying?”

“Implying? I have evidence, that’s the point of everything I’ve been saying so far.”

“Whatever evidence you have can go to hell, when would you understand that I will never do anything to hurt you?”

Grimacing, I reeled backwards. “You actually expect me to believe that? Do you honestly think there’s anything you can do to make me trust you?”

He winced, as if my words had physically hurt him. “I know I don’t have such an amazing track record with you, but that was ages ago-”

“Of course you’ll say some shit like that, you’re not the one who has to live with the memories like it was just yesterday. Your whole life was not defined and crafted by it. You ruined my childhood, Ryder. And no amount of playing it cool can fade that away, when I look at you all I see is the bully that you are. And maybe your tactics have changed, but I’m not falling for this, I won’t let you deceive me into believing you’ve changed.”

There was a pause between us after I finished, he just stood there without saying anything and I felt a restlessness push through me. I needed him to say something, to get defensive, to act out, to prove my point.

But there was none of that.

“I know you broke into my room earlier today while I was in school. You had a fight with the guard and that’s where you got that ugly black eye, and he pushed you out of the window which is why you’re still banged up till now. You don’t need to deny it, you just need to leave me the fuck alone.”

“I’m sorry.”

I blinked, my ears twitching.

“I ruined your childhood, and it had nothing to do with you. At the time I didn’t understand it because I was just an arrogant teen. But I see it now, I see you.”

My lips twitched and there were about a million retorts in my head but none of them felt like something that was meant to be said at this moment. There was a sincerity in his voice that I’d never heard before.

“It hurts that you’d think I’m capable of these things, but I don’t blame you for it. Can we just start afresh? Let me show you that I’ve changed, and I want to protect you from whoever is actually doing this. Please.” He stretched his hand out and his eyes glistened with concern.

I scoffed, looking away from him before I could fall any deeper for his charade. “You’re just full of shit, Ryder. I already told you what I want from you, leave me alone. I’ll speak to Saks in the morning.”

Rising from my chair, I pushed past him and began heading for the door, my heart racing.

The next moment was a blur, I felt him move and the next thing I knew my back was pinned to a wall, and then there he was, hovering over me. a thousand emotions bleeding through those deep blue eyes.

My chest tightened and my heart thrummed as I struggled to breathe under him.

He’s gonna kill me, I know it. I didn’t fall for his act and now he’s desperate. I can’t believe this is how I go out-

But then I noticed something in his eyes, something I have never seen before, that made me stop thinking.

Ryder was always so calculative and composed, his cold eyes a clear indicator of the fact that he was hardly fazed. But in this very confusing moment all I could see was a boy rattled by his own desires.

Desires I soon found were also mine.

Ryder’s lips tasted soft and strange against mine and the hunger that I’d been shoveling for so long consumed me.

This was it. I finally faced it.

Finally accepted just how deeply I felt for this beautiful boy.