Chapter 21

Zach’s POV

 

“Zachary!”

 

My eyes flutter and I thank the heavens for sending me a reason to look away from Ryder, I turned to find Gigi walking towards us.

 

“Will I see you this evening?”

 

My head snapped back to Ryder and I held his gaze for a moment. There was no denying the fact that the air had drastically shifted between the two of us.

 

But what did that mean? I needed some time to figure that out.

 

“I need to get some rest today.”

He didn’t argue, just gave me an understanding nod before walking away.

 

Just then, Gigi stepped up next to me.

“What was that about?”

 

I shook my head, leaning against her as all the strength I had mustered so that I won’t look weak next to Ryder came falling apart.

 

“Nothing, he’s fine.”

She gave me a look. “So… he’s not?”

I shook my head again. “Can you take me home please?”

Gigi nodded immediately. “Sure, let’s get you to the main hall and then I’ll go bring my car around.”

 

Throwing my hand over her shoulder, Gigi led me through the hall, making small talk about her day as I pondered on mine.

 

I know I said I wouldn’t romanticize this, but was it possible that Ryder Summers… was in love with me?

 

 

“What! He said that?” Gigi yelled, barely able to keep the contents of her hamburger in her mouth. “Sorry,” she added as she picked up a crumb from my sheets and tossed it into the trash.

 

“Yeah, I think the whole stalker issue got him on edge and now he wants to be my bodyguard or something,” I sipped my water.

 

Gigi chuckled. “Talk about a weird turn of events.”

“Tell me about it, Gigi what am I even supposed to do?”

 

She shrugged. “You tell me, up until a couple minutes ago I thought you both couldn’t stand yourselves. Come to find out you’ve been having secret meet cutes in his room-”

 

“You see, this is exactly why I didn’t tell you?”

“Why? What did I do?”

“I knew you would make it a whole thing.”

“Well clearly it is. You guys kissed, Zach.”

“Oh God, could you be any louder?”

 

My frustration must’ve been very hilarious because the next thing she was on the floor laughing.

 

“I fucking hate you so much right now,” I groaned as she struggled to catch her breath.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. All I’m saying is that kinda stuff doesn’t happen by chance. And the sooner you accept what’s happening here, the better you’d be able to manage it.”

 

“Alright, Ghandi.” I rolled my eyes and she started laughing again.

 

“What about the other guy?”

I turned to her. “What other guy.”

“The hot stuff you wouldn’t stop biting my ear off about last week.”

“Oh Damien… yeah I actually haven’t heard from him in a minute.”

 

Gigi finished up her burger. “And you didn’t bother to text him?”

“Well clearly, I’ve been caught up in something more devastating that whatever it is he’s going through. Besides, were not there yet.”

 

 

“There is where?”

“You know, checking up when he’s absent and stuff.”

“Zach, the guy could be dead right now.”

“Jesus, Gigi. Even if he was, that’s not what I’m trying to find out.”

“Oh right, we need to figure out how to stop your bully from falling for you.”

“Exactly.”

 

 

A week had passed since I saw Ryder, after I found out that he’d actually gone to Saks to thank him for pairing us together I realized that I wasn’t as free from him as I thought.

 

And it was kind of a relief.

 

But I made sure to keep our sections online and as brief as possible. It was as if we were secretly agreeing to act like it never happened. Because that was for the best.

 

Truthfully, I didn’t know how that made me feel. There were still so many unresolved feelings from that night that haunted me.

 

He had made it ‘easier’ for me by taking an official leave from school, but it was getting harder coming to school every day knowing that I wasn’t going to see him.

 

And in the evenings, I would think of him, muscle memory leading me towards his street during my nighttime walks. Sometimes I would get dressed, brace myself and end up bailing before I even got out of my building.

 

Part of me knew how much I needed this space, the other part wished I had held unto Ryder tightly and asked him to never leave me.

 

By the end of the week, mid semester was around the corner and turning to my books was the perfect distraction.

 

I spent all my evenings and my whole weekend in the library with my head buried in one book or the other. I prepared so hard one would’ve thought I was preparing for an academic Olympics.

 

But every second I looked away from a book, something would remind me of Ryder. It was subtle at first, until it slowly built up to utter torture.

 

Sunday evening, I’d had enough. I hadn’t realized how much attention I had been paying to Ryder until I sat in the coffee shop finding pieces of him in literally everything I looked at.

 

Then I looked down at my books and right at the top right of the very page I was on was his handwriting.

 

The memory flooded me. his taunting smile as we studied in hid dining room, how he’d pretended not to know that scribbling on my textbook would piss me off, how I’d scolded him after and he enjoyed every moment of it.

 

These days, my memories with him had started to carry such different meanings, I started noticing things that I had been too blinded by hatred to see.

 

My book slammed shut under my palm as I made up my mind.

It was about time I spoke to him.

 

Rising from my booth, I started gathering my books into my bag, mapping out the best route between the shop, my dorm and his apartment when I felt a figure hovering over me.

 

“I’m always spotting you when you’re about to leave.”

 

My eyes widened and I looked up to find Damien. He remained gorgeous as always even with the tiny patch under his eye.

 

My smile fell. “What happened to you?” I asked, touching his face.

He shook his head. “It’s a long story, and you seem to be in a rush.”

 

“I have time,” I said swallowing the lump in my throat before retaking my seat.

“Please, tell me everything.”