FOUR

AUTUMN’S POV

I SHOULD’VE KNOWN IT WAS A BAD IDEA TO COME HERE. Besides having to see Frazier showing off his young and attractive girlfriend around, I had to endure hearing people mentioning my name in whispers and talking about how I had gotten ‘knocked-up’ in my first year of college. Normal people would’ve thought this was old news, especially since my baby boy was five years old now but these people in this glamorous room seemed to think otherwise.

I’d heard weird-ass stories ranging from how I’d cheated on Tyler with someone I met in the bar to me having a bad, unsafe one-night stand with a stranger to get Tyler’s attention. If only they knew the truth. If only they knew that it was far more complicated than that. I ignored them, as always. Never denying nor agreeing. Let their imagination go wild. After all, I didn’t owe any of them any explanation.

If I thought that these were bad, something worse was coming on my way when my phone rang. I quickly opened my purse and dug deep to reach for it. I glanced at the screen and answered the phone. “Ash! What’s up?”

“Autumn, Sev is having a fever. I’ve bathed him with lukewarm water but his temperature is not dropping. He’s one hundred Fahrenheit. I think we need to bring him to the hospital. I’m calling my husband right now but he’s still busy with his project and it would take him two hours to get here. What do you want me to do? I can’t leave Leah and Kelly alone at the house. Do you want me to give him some medicine? Do you know what he’s allergic to?”

My mind went blank. This was simply my worst nightmare. It had always been one whenever Sev had a cold or flu or fever. “Try giving him Acetaminophen and see if the fever’s going down. I’m on my way.”

“I’m really sorry, Autumn. I know you’re supposed to be having fun now.”

“No, no. It’s fine. I’m okay. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” My hand was struggling in putting my phone back into my bag and Ty caught my wrist.

“Autumn, take a breather.” He took the phone, opened my stupid bag, and placed it inside. “Is Sev okay?”

“I don’t know, Ty. I don’t know but I’ve gotta go.”

“I can come with you.”

“No, it’s fine.” I exhaled, giving him my best ‘I can handle this’ look, and smiled. “You stay here. Enjoy the rest of the party, okay. It has been a while since you meet everyone.”

Without letting him convince me otherwise, I ran through the double doors all the way to the ground floor and out to the sidewalk.

°°°°°°°

As I sat there inside Frazier’s car, my back straightened and my eyes on the road, I couldn’t focus on anything but Severus. I had put Ashwini’s address on his GPS the second I’d gotten into his car and now what was left for me was to wait. I pulled my phone out and held it in my hand just in case Ashwini sent me any updates.

The whole journey was filled with Robbie William’s ‘Patience’. Both Frazier and I didn’t say a word. I had a feeling that I wasn’t the only one engrossed in my own mind. “It’s that one on the right.” I pointed at the house with light blue paint and red fences. The second the car stopped, before Frazier killed the engine, I’d already jumped out of the car and ran towards the front door.

Ashwini opened it the second I knocked, she was already holding Severus and his bag ― the one I’d filled with his milk, clothes, and toys this morning.

“Hi, baby.” I took him from her arms and held him close to my chest. His body was burning but he didn’t cry almost as if he was too sick to cry and my heart broke right there on Ash’s front porch. I turned to her. “Thank you so much, Ash, I’ll take him to the hospital now.”

Ash nodded and took the strap off her shoulder. She was about to hand it to me when a strong hand took it from her. Ash looked at me then back at Frazier who was standing next to me. “Is this his father?”

I unlocked my phone and tried to go through my phone book. I needed to call a cab to bring Sev and me to the hospital.

“Are you his father?”

I nearly choked myself when I heard Ash’s bold question even though I had nothing in my mouth.

“No,” he replied curtly, unaware how that word chipped a small part of my heart. I shook the pain away by reminding myself that he didn’t know. And it was my decision not to let him know. I knew eventually I had to tell him but not now, not when he had a beautiful girl by his side and looked damn happy with his life. Not when my baby boy was sick and needed my full, undivided attention.

Even without looking, I could feel his eyes on me, creating holes at the side of my head as I held Sev with my left hand and placed the phone next to my right ear. “Autumn, let me bring you and your kid to the hospital.”

The line was busy. “Oh, darn it.”

“Autumn.”

I felt his hand on my back and turned to face him.

“Let me drive you.”

My gaze left his face and moved to Ash but all my friends said was, “You should let him drive you, babe. You need to get your baby to the hospital as soon as possible.”

“Okay.”

°°°°°°°

The doctor informed me that Severus was having acute otitis media. It was the most common ear infection and after treatment, he should be alright. Yet I couldn’t leave him. Dressed in a long silver dress, I sat in the waiting room. I leaned my head back against the wall.

Frazier still didn’t make a sound. His phone, however, was a different case. Even on our way here, his phone kept on ringing and now, the sound was drilling my brain. It nearly drove me insane. What more was his action. He looked as if his ears were selective and he didn’t hear any of this annoying sound every now and then.

It was twenty seconds of quietness before his phone was acting up again. Frazier rejected the call and slid his phone back into the pocket of his suit. When it rang again, he pulled it out and turned it off.

“You should go back to the party.” I closed my eyes and told myself numerous times that the doctor said Sev was going to be okay. I repeated what the doctor said inside my head to keep me sane. “You left your companion there. Go.”

“No, it’s fine. She’s fine.”

“Frazier.” I sighed, suddenly feeling the tiredness I’d been enduring the entirety of this week.

“What?”

“Go. You can’t do that, you know. You can’t just leave her there. It’s your reunion, she doesn’t know anyone there.”

“Yes, I can.” This time, he was the one sighing. “I didn’t leave her. You needed a ride.”

I opened my eyes and stared at him in disbelief. “You can’t turn this on me. Look, yes, I needed a ride but I’m here now. My baby’s fine. You should just go back there and enjoy the rest of your evening.”

He was quiet. His gray eyes never left mine. Then he drew a breath. “Is that what you want?”

No. “Yes.”  I had to pat myself on the back for sounding so sure and convincing. Being here alone would drive me crazy but it was better than holding him back when he was needed elsewhere. When I looked at the girl he had brought to the reunion, something about her reminded me of the old me. She reminded me of myself back when I was a teenager when I was her age.

I was a big girl now. Twenty-four years old and a single mom. I could handle this. If I could handle nine months of pregnancy and an entire year covered in baby vomit, I could handle spending the night in the hospital's waiting room.

“Go.”

I watched his jaw tightening but in the end, he didn't say anything as he turned and walked away. Only when I saw him walking past the sliding door at the front of the ICU, did I finally let out the breath I had been holding.