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Pushing Away the Light in My Life
Pushing Away the Light in My Life
Author: Unordinary Jasmine

Chapter 1

Author: Unordinary Jasmine
It was no secret to the entire Moonshadow pack that their Alpha, Alexander Steelclaw, was a perfect mate. He had countless suitors, yet he was devoted only to his mate, Alice Clearwater.

Though he suffered from a mate marking rejection disorder, he traveled to healing centers across every pack for her sake.

He was terrified of heights, but when he learned Alice loved extreme sports, he secretly had a bungee platform built on a cliff's edge and nearly died in the attempt.

When her labor took a dangerous turn, he shifted into his wolf form, charged into forbidden territory, and returned covered in wounds just to obtain a vial of elixir from the Moon Goddess' sacred spring to sustain her energy. Even in his fevered dreams, he cried out, "Save Alice first!"

For 50 years, Alexander granted Alice every wish, spoiling her until she became the most cherished she-wolf in the tribe.

Everyone asked, "Alice, were you the Moon Goddess herself in a past life? How else could you have landed such an incredible mate?"

Even Alice herself began to wonder if that was the case. That was, until the day after Alexander was ambushed and killed by a group of rogue wolves.

Alice, now 75 years old and silver-haired, went to the city hall in the capital of the werewolf kingdom to handle his deregistration.

The clerk typed away, then her expression slowly shifted, growing complicated. "Ms. Clearwater, the system shows you have no spouse on record."

Alice froze, thinking she had heard the clerk wrongly.

"The registered mate of Alexander Steelclaw, Alpha of the Moonshadow pack, is a she-wolf named Anna Darkfur."

The cane in Alice's hand suddenly felt heavier than iron.

"That's impossible. We lived in the Moonshadow pack for 50 years, and we raised three pups together. Alexander never even touched any other she-wolf apart from me. How could he have marked someone else?"

The clerk pulled up a photo and turned the screen toward Alice.

In that instant, Alice felt her world shatter.

In the photo, a young Alexander had his arm around another she-wolf. He was smiling tenderly. Alice recognized the she-wolf instantly. It really was Anna—the impoverished student whom Alice's family had sponsored to attend wolf college years ago.

Alice herself had brought Anna from her remote pack to the Moonshadow pack, paid for her education, and supported her dream of becoming a pack warrior.

Later, when Anna began pursuing Alexander relentlessly, Alice gave her a large sum of money and sent her away to further her studies in the capital of the werewolf kingdom.

"Ma'am? Are you all right?"

Alice couldn't hear a thing. Her cane slipped from her grip, and she stared at the screen, feeling as if her heart were being squeezed tighter and tighter by an unseen hand. A sharp pain shot through her chest. Then, everything went dark.

When Alice came to, she found herself in the pack infirmary. Her daughter, Aliya Steelclaw, sat by the bed holding Alice's hand with red-rimmed eyes.

"Mom, what happened? Why did you collapse at the city hall?"

Alice opened her mouth to speak, but her throat felt raw, and she couldn't make a sound.

All of a sudden, the door swung open, and in walked an elderly figure. There was a cruel smile etched on her face.

"Still not dead yet, Alice?"

The person's face had aged, but Alice recognized her instantly. It was Anna.

The moment Aliya saw Anna walk in, the look in her eyes changed completely. "Mom, I've played the dutiful daughter for so many years. It's finally time I can drop the act."

Alice's mind buzzed. Did Aliya just address Anna as her mother?

Anna stepped closer, waving her communicator. The screen showed a photo of a rogue she-wolf with both her legs missing. The she-wolf was filthy and broken, and she was begging by the roadside.

"After your daughter was born, Alexander swapped her with mine. The daughter you've raised for over 20 years is my pup. Your real daughter was sold to a red-light district the day she was born. She endured every kind of violation, had her limbs broken, and lived as a rogue for more than two decades.

"I suppose I've got to thank you for raising my daughter all these years. Oh, and thank you for taking care of my mate as well."

Alice felt all the blood drain from her body. She stared at the photo. Her fingers clenched the bedsheet until her knuckles turned white. "You're saying… this is my daughter?"

Anna raised an eyebrow. "Well, what do you think? Alexander never marked you. I'm his true mate—the one the Alpha actually marked."

Aliya let out a mocking laugh. "You really are clueless, aren't you? Can't you tell if Dad actually loved you? All these years, he pretended to suffer from a mate marking rejection disorder just to fool you, so that you'd never find out who his real mate is!

"Dad took me out for a full day every week and brought me on a month-long trip annually, just so I could visit my real mother. And all those gifts he brought back from his business trips? They were just freebies from whatever he bought for my mom."

Aliya's every word sliced deeper than the last.

Seeing Alice's reaction, Anna twisted the knife. "Alice, have you ever wondered why Alexander never marked you, and instead had the whole pack play along in his sham of being a perfect mate?

"He told me himself that you always had to outdo him, whether in school or in running the pack. Your love was too suffocating, and he felt smothered by it. The only reason he stayed with you was to keep you from coming after me."

Alice's eyes finally filled with tears.

50 years of devotion, of being cherished, were nothing but a lie. The daughter she had poured her heart into raising was her rival's pup. Her real daughter had been violated, crippled, and left begging on the streets for over 20 years.

And the man she believed loved her beyond measure was the one who had orchestrated it all.

The heart monitor began to scream, and Alice's vision blurred. All the noise around her faded into the distance as memories flashed in her mind, rewinding frame by frame.

In her memories, she saw once again the boy in a white shirt smiling at her beneath the pine tree in the pack grounds that summer day.

"Alice, I'm going to get into the same wolf college as you. We'll never be apart for the rest of our lives."
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  • Pushing Away the Light in My Life   Chapter 8

    Not long after, Alice approached Alexander's bedside. Her expression was calm. "I came to make things clear. Let's part ways amicably."Alexander had known this was coming. Still, hearing it out loud made it feel like a chunk of his heart had been carved out."From now on, we're strangers."He looked at her and felt like there were a thousand words lodged in his throat. Yet in the end, only one came out. "Okay."A flicker of surprise crossed Alice's eyes. Then, she turned and walked away. After a few steps, she paused but didn't look back."I had a dream. In that dream, we were married for 50 years. You deceived me for 50 years. You swapped my daughter with Anna's, and my real daughter was thrown into a red-light district. Her limbs were broken, and she spent over 20 years begging on the streets."Right before I died, they told me you never loved me, that every bit of your affection had been a lie."Alice paused. "That dream was so long. It went on for so long that I thought I'd

  • Pushing Away the Light in My Life   Chapter 7

    Alice slammed the door shut mercilessly behind her. Alexander crumpled to the floor as blood slowly dripped onto the tiles.When Sauliel found Alice, she was alone, crouching in a dim corner of the dormitory. His heart ached at the sight. He walked over and gently pulled her into his arms. "It's okay now. I'm here."Alice looked up at him. Her eyes were red-rimmed. Just that single glance was enough to make him feel sorry for her all over again."Did Alexander come looking for you?"She shook her head. "I don't want to attend the networking event anymore. I just want to leave this place.""Okay. We'll head back to the capital."Before returning to the capital, Sauliel brought her out to clear her mind. They strolled along the riverbank, ate street food, and even went bungee jumping. For the first time in a long while, Alice genuinely laughed.When they got back to the dormitory, Alexander was still waiting at the door.Sauliel rolled up his sleeves, ready to throw a punch, bu

  • Pushing Away the Light in My Life   Chapter 6

    Alexander rushed forward, holding out the necklace. "Alice, it's been a while."Alice looked up at him. Her eyes were utterly placid. "Sorry, I don't accept things from strangers."Alexander trembled. Strangers? His lips quivered. "I know you're still angry. But it's been so long. Shouldn't you be over it by now?"Alice smiled. "Angry? Not at all. We're just fellow students from different academies. That's all."Fellow students. The two words stabbed straight into his heart like blades.Alexander reached out to touch her, but someone blocked him. Sauliel stepped between them and said, "Excuse me, please show some respect.""And who do you think you are? I'm talking to my future mate!"Sauliel adjusted his glasses. "Future mate? You? The line of Alphas pursuing Alice stretches from the school gate all the way to the human district. And you, a guy who can't even brew a simple antidote properly, what right do you have to get close to her? "What even qualifies you to be the future

  • Pushing Away the Light in My Life   Chapter 5

    Alexander waited from morning till night at the entrance of Moonshadow Academy. He made countless calls to Alice, but every one of them went straight to voicemail. His mind-link attempts vanished into silence as well.It was evening when he finally scrolled through the pack forum and saw a photo of Alice standing beside another wolf in front of the grand gates of the Royal Wolf Kingdom College of Medicine.She was smiling so brightly, giving off a kind of happiness he had never once seen on her face when she was with him.His communicator slipped from his fingers and clattered to the ground. He picked it up and dialed again, only to find that he'd been blocked. Then, he tried to reach out through the mind-link, but it was severed. Alexander crouched at the academy gate, redialing the number that would never connect, over and over.College freshmen streamed past, whispering among themselves. However, he heard none of it. Only one thought looped endlessly in his mind—Alice had aban

  • Pushing Away the Light in My Life   Chapter 4

    For the next seven days, Alexander never once visited Alice. He did not send her a mind-link message or even a single text message.Anna, on the other hand, updated Alice on everything they did daily. On the first day, they went to the wishing tree, wrote their wishes on ribbons, and tied them to the branches of the wishing tree together. On the second day, they hiked to the mountaintop to watch the stars and whispered their deepest secrets to each other.On the seventh day, they stood before the Council of Elders and made a binding vow, promising that one day they would return to complete the marking ceremony. Their fingers were interlaced, and both of them smiled so sweetly it hurt to look at them.Alice scrolled through every message with a blank expression. The part of her that had been clinging to Alexander for dear life had finally, completely died inside her.On the eighth day, Alexander's message finally came. "Sorry, Alice. I was tied up with some things for the past f

  • Pushing Away the Light in My Life   Chapter 3

    At the campsite, Alexander, who was probably feeling guilty, went out of his way to fuss over Alice. He kept bringing her drinks, grilling meat for her, and checking if she needed anything.His friends teased, "Alexander, you're spoiling Alice rotten!"However, all Alexander did was smile.As the evening went on, Anna got drunk. Her cheeks flushed a deep red as she clung to him playfully. "Alexander, you've got to take responsibility for kissing me. Yesterday, you even unhooked my bra…"The whole group fell silent.The skewer of grilled meat slipped from Alice's hand and hit the ground. "Is that true?"Alexander's expression soured. "Alice, hear me out..."However, Alice simply got to her feet and walked away. He chased after her and grabbed her wrist. "Alice, Anna had an asthma attack yesterday. I had to help her unclasp her bra so I could rub her chest to ease her breathing. I swear I kept my eyes closed the whole time. I didn't cheat on you!"Alice let out a laugh, but tea

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