Chapter 1

“C’mon, Daianara!” My mother’s brow wrinkled from the screen of my laptop as we were talking via video call. “When are you coming in here?”

I moved my swivel chair slowly while my pen was placed under my chin, thinking, while looking at my mother’s irritated face. She’s beautiful, especially when she's frustrated at me. So, sometimes or most of the time, I liked seeing her frustrated.

Kidding aside, she’s been throwing that question to me for ages. 

“Mom,” I started again. I know where this is going. I need to explain for the nth time the reason why I haven’t migrated to Spain with them. 

My family has been living in Spain since I was in the university and they’ve been trying to persuade me to live with them. I haven’t thought about it yet. 

“I told you. Let me finish my job here,” I said.

She brushed her hair and glared at me. “You’ve been telling me that for the last few years, Daianara, but you kept on signing new contracts at the university!”

She already raised her voice. That is why I know that this conversation is getting serious. I caressed the sides of my head and pretended to listen to her. Well, I already knew what she’s going to say.

“I still have two years left,” I answered. “Just that and I promise…” I raised my right hand. “To live with you and--”

“I cannot understand why you still need to teach or you want to teach at a university. For God’s sake!” She raised her brow and leaned on her swivel chair. Instead of looking at her face, I glanced at her back and saw the rising sun from the glass window. 

“What a nice view, Mom!” I reacted. 

“You’ll be seeing this view in your office here only if you are here...” She paused. “Daianara, I am giving you the chance to finish whatever circumstances you have in there…” She started and I already know it is a warning. 

My mother sighed. “You are the future of our company and you are the only successor of all our--”

“I know, Mom. I know that!” I cut her off, which she doesn’t actually like. “So, before I manage our company, please let me experience what I really want to do. Please? Let me finish my two years in the university. Can I do that?”

“That’s the last contract you are going to sign.”

“Yay!” I smiled, triumphantly. “Thank you, Mom! Hugs and kisses!” I sent a flying kiss. 

“Oh, by the way…” She added. “When am I going to meet your boyfriend?”

I bit my lower lip. “Mom, I am busy I don’t have--”

“If you don’t have, then, I will arrange your date with the son of --” 

I raised my hand in front of the screen to stop her. “Mom. We can talk about this some other time.” I said, not already comfortable with the conversation. Here she goes again, talking about love, when all I want is just life.

“I need to sleep. It’s getting late here,” I lied.

My mother heaved. “I don’t really know what to do with you. Make sure to come here during vacation, okay? I’ll introduce you to someone worthy of your time.”

“I doubt that,” I chuckled. “I’ll be sleeping, Mom.” I waved and smiled. “Good night!”

“Wait!” She stopped me. “I know you won’t be sleeping.” She rolled her eyes. “You are still writing, right? Do you want me to call a publisher to publish your--”

I shook my head. “No need, Mom. I just like writing. I’ll be cutting you off. Bye!”

I ended the video call before my mother found another topic again about my life. I was already tired of her giving me lectures about my love life and telling me to date. It’s not like I am already old. Why is she excited? And, I am waiting for someone who unfortunately doesn’t even know that I exist. Yeah. I am indeed a hopeless romantic. 

I turned around my swivel chair and faced the glass window, overlooking the whole city where I am currently living. It was already midnight and some stars aligned in the sky.  I counted ten stars scattered within the reach of my eyes until I got bored and decided to go back to reading the new book I just bought from the bookstore.

“Gosh! I still have a lot to read,” I told myself as I looked around my bookshelf. I bought a lot of books and I felt sorry for them since I couldn’t read them all. Well, buying books is actually different from reading it. That’s my motto in life. 

Although, I decided to read some chapters of the book since I am not yet sleepy. I leaned on my back and escaped from reality as I started flipping the pages.  The story already reached its peak when my phone rang. I dropped the book on the side and rolled to the other side of the bed to pick up my phone.

I immediately straightened upon seeing the registered name on my screen. It was the private investigator that I hired to search for someone. I am not a stalker, but I really got curious about a guy that I wanted to know his whereabouts. The goal is to check on him and move on after getting information about him. I really want answers and I felt like I won’t be able to move on without meeting or knowing him. 

“Hey, what’s up?” I asked from the other line.

“Good evening, Ma’am. Sorry to bother you,” He answered. “I have to report.”

“Go on,” I said, listening to him and hoping that after all these months he now has an idea of where the man I am looking for is. 

“I was able to locate someone who knew the guy in the picture you showed me.”

“Really?” I stood up from my bed as I clung to my chest. Damn! Is this it? Am I going to see him?

“Yes. They didn’t tell me a lot of information about the guy and I couldn’t ask them for more because they might get suspicious of me. But, they told me that the guy was already living in another country and he is already married.”

“Oh…” I paused. “Are you sure? Did you show them the picture?”

“Yes, Ma’am. I am very sure. They confirmed it upon seeing the guy in the picture.”

I dropped the phone on my side and threw myself on the bed. Ugh! I breathed in and out as I stared at the ceiling, not knowing what to do. I wasn’t even sure why I decided to waste my money to look for a guy that doesn’t even know that I existed.

Why am I doing this? I can’t believe I fell for him? Is this love? 

“Ugh! You’re crazy!” I told myself and yelled. “Now, what to do? He’s already married! Of course, he is married! It’s been years since I’ve met him.”

I talked to myself for a minute trying to think of what to do next. Until it occurred to me how hopeless and stupid I am for clinging to someone who doesn’t even know me. I don’t even know him. I just have a picture of him that I saved from the profile picture that he uploaded in a writing site.

It’s no secret that I loved reading, yet not all people knew that I also loved writing. It’s a hobby, a past time, a stress reliever, something I do when I am having mixed feelings, so it’s not really something to brag on especially that I do not intend to become an author in the future like what my mother had been telling me to do after knowing that I wrote novels for years.

Writing is just my diary because I was able to vent my feelings whenever I scribbled. Due to that, I discovered an online writing platform where different writers share their stories. I was in high school back then and I just want to write. Not knowing that I will fall in love. I am not sure if this is love, but I have been curious about this mysterious writer for years.

I discovered him in the writing platform where he wrote a lot of stories I enjoyed reading. There’s nothing special about his writings except for the fact that he made me laugh and I am not that kind of person who easily laughed at things. So, my young heart fell in love with the writer behind those stories who captured my heart.

I started reaching out to him, but it was already too late since he had already stopped writing. It’s been ten years since it happened. I stopped writing on the platform, but I constantly checked his profile and messaged him occasionally hoping he would read my message.

He read it and even messaged me back which gave me a lot of butterflies in my stomach although he told me not to wait anymore as he will no longer write again. My heart was in sorrow, but the younger version of me still waited until I graduated college and decided to forget about him.

I did forget about him like how I forget that I enjoyed writing. It was only when I opened my old laptop months ago that I remembered him and the things I enjoyed back then. I started writing again and decided to use my connection to look for him.

Now, I know. He was already married and he’s not here. So, what should I do?

I opened my old phone where I used to read his stories and stared at my wallpaper. At least, I know that he does exist and this picture I have been staring at for years is actually real. 

“Fine…” I sighed. “This will be my last message because I already wasted my years for you,” I spoke to him as if he’s going to answer me.

I smiled a bit as I opened my account and started typing my message to him. It was heartbreaking but the memories of my younger self stalking him, hoping, imagining about him is something I would cherish. How I wished he continued writing because if yes, he might be one of the best-selling authors from that platform now. 

I never wished for anything actually. I just want to see him and tell him to write again. Although, he would never know that. 

My heart still ached at the thought when I woke up. The sun was already rising as I held the cup of coffee while watching it rise from my unit. I am a lover of sunrise and I am a morning person. I would never start a day without looking at the run rises wherever I am. And, a cup of coffee will also make my day.

Although, I am feeling lazy today. What? Am I broken? 

“Okay. It’s another day.” I whispered to myself. “Why am I getting sad over him?”

I shook my head in frustration but eventually smiled because I couldn’t believe that a guy like him has a great impact in my life. What more will happen if I’ve seen him, right?

After a while, I heard the doorbell ring. I checked my watch and it’s already past six in the morning. I am not expecting any visitors at the moment. Who could it be? 

I checked the monitor that’s connected to the CCTV outside the door to make sure and cursed upon seeing my butler. 

What the hell is this?

My thoughts were answered when my phone rang. It was my mother. I ignored the call and thought real hard if I am going to open my door. Ugh! I know where this is going! I already told my mother that I don’t want any blind dates. Why does she keep on sending me guys? I would gladly accept it if she’d be setting me up with someone I like, like Gray - the guy in the writing platform who broke my heart.

“What is it?” I glared at my butler, Roselia, as she greeted me with a smile.

“Your mother arranged a blind date for you. I’m here too --” I stopped her because I already know what she’s going to say. It’s not new. I’ve been on a lot of blind dates and it didn’t work out.

I decided to answer my mother’s call while Roselia went to my closet to arrange my things or whatever that she’s going to do to persuade me. 

“You cannot run, lady!” She yelled. “The bodyguards are outside the building.”

I rolled my eyes. As if I don’t know that.

“Hi, mother!” I hissed as I answered her call.

“What’s with the tone?” She replied.

“Mom, why are you setting me up again with someone else? Why are you selling your only daughter?” I pouted. “I told you, Mom---”

“I told you that you need to date. Unless you introduce a boyfriend to me, I am not gonna stop looking for someone worthy of your time.”

“Whatever, Mom!” I sighed. “Fine. I will look for a boyfriend, just stop with these dates. Okay?”

“I can’t promise, but we will see. I’ll bet you are gonna like this guy.” She giggled from the other side. I couldn’t believe her. “Call me after your date and tell me about him.”

“Can we make a deal, Mom?” I suggested. “How about this? I’ll agree to this date and see if it will work out. If not, then, you’ll let me find love. How about that?”

“Deal, my love.” My mother replied. “I promise you will like him.”

“And, if he doesn’t like me?” 

“I doubt that.” Mom said as if she was sure that the guy would like me. She was saying something and when I asked her to repeat it, she just laughed and hung up. 

Is she kidding me? Ugh! I don’t know if I’ll be happy about my mother.

“Lady,” Roselia said. “We need to shop for your clothes.”

“Yeah. Whatever,” I said. “Let me prepare. And, oh…” I remembered asking. “What’s the name of the guy?”

“Seby La Cour.”