Chapter 15

XAVIE 

When Hilda had suggested flower picking, I thought it was something fun, like stopping to smell the roses or something. But instead I was helping her examine plants and picking some herbs. I didn’t complain though, I was in desperate need of some company so I quietly did the job she assigned me. 

I soon noticed her frequently glancing in my direction and thought at first maybe she was worried I wasn’t doing it right but then I realised she wasn’t looking at the herbs we were picking but at me. Even though she’s pretty much the only person that talks to me around here, Hilda was still a stranger to me. 

“Am I doing it wrong?” I asked, pausing in the act of picking another flower. 

She shook her head. “It seems to me like you and Alpha Kian are going out of your way to avoid each other, the servants are talking and once they start, be sure the entire pack is going to be aware of it too.” 

My eyes widened at her words as I grew nervous. “I’d like to think people have something better to do than talk about me and Kian all day.” 

She laughs at my reply. “What do you think? People are going to talk about you all right, you are their Luna and Alpha. Not to mention the circumstances of your mating ceremony. By the way, everyone can see you’re not acting like newlyweds. Is he making you unhappy? He respects Derek a lot, I could talk to him to talk some sense into that mate of yours.” 

Feeling uncomfortable since I remember what she did the last time, basically forcing me to spend time with Kian by going horse riding. The last thing I want is a repeat of that. How can I make them understand that we don’t have to spend every single hour together? I just want to be left alone! 

“Hilda, I appreciate your concerns really but things are fine between Kian and I. This is how we prefer our marriage to be…” I trailed off, flushing with embarrassment at the look on her face. 

“You haven’t consummated your marriage! The bond is not complete unless you consummate your marriage, you know that right?” She gasped, causing me to wonder what I said to make her leap into such a conclusion, I mean she’s right but she doesn’t know that! 

Consummate my mating bond with Kian… goddess no! That’s never, ever going to happen! I have made it clear from day one with Kian that I wasn’t interested in any mating bond, we only got married as a last result and I’m not desperate enough to sleep with someone I’m not attracted to or sleep with anyone ever again! 

After the whole thing with Alec, I don’t see myself being with someone ever again. I know better now, I know that I’m better off alone and once I get my inheritance and pay Kian for all the help he rendered, we will go our separate ways. I have it all figured out, go far away and start all over again on an island, enjoying the rest of my life with my inheritance while helping women who have been in my position before. 

Realizing Hilda was still waiting for me to say something, I pushed the thoughts of my future out of my mind and focused back on the present. “You sound crazy Hilda, of course Kian and I have consummated our marriage.” I physically wanted to gag. 

“You can’t lie to me, Xavie, you know I’m far older than you and have more experience with these things. For newlyweds, you two don’t look crazy in love with each other. The reason why there weren't many people talking about it at first is because we believed it must have been love at first sight for Alpha, you know…he has swore off women previously and for him to wed you so quickly, people thought you were the woman to unfreeze his frozen heart.” 

Now that’s nonsense! I doubt Kian has trouble in the ladies department, I mean look at him. He’s wealthy, strong and not to talk about all the glory that comes with being an Alpha but if these rumours spread any faster then we are toast, Alec would no doubt grow suspicious of us and I can kiss my inheritance and the life I hope to live with it goodbye! 

I took a deep breath before replying this time around. “You’re right Hilda, Kian and I are taking time to get to know each other first before completing our mate bond and the reason why we haven’t been spending so much time together is because…communication is very difficult for us.” What made that lie believable is because it wasn’t exactly a lie. 

I don’t know any fraction of sign language and Kian can’t communicate verbally so… I’m hoping that would convince her that we are in love but can’t express it enough because we can’t communicate it. I was feeling very proud of myself at that moment for coming up with the perfect lie. 

“Silly girl…” there she goes again, shattering my illusion of lies. “Love doesn’t need to be communicated before it’s felt. You can’t hide love and there are several ways to express it…perhaps time has changed and this is how young people express themselves these days.” She mutters the last part under her breath but I heard it. 

I look away from her, pretending to be focused on writing the next herb down. Now I have to worry about this? There’s so much going on with me that has me worry, like reliving my near death experience every night when I fall asleep? Or the fact that I’m unable to feel the presence of my wolf ever since I recovered? Now… I have to pretend to be madly in love with someone I don’t even feel any hint of attraction towards? Could this get any worse for me?!