Rejected by my Alpha Husband

LAMIA

The night of the blood moon

Seneca finally quieted down only when there was quiet. She slept peacefully in my arms as I stood at the window looking out over the rolling landscape of MacTire.

I felt indifferent staring at the dark mountains lit only by the glow of the moon and the sporadic sparkle of the stars. A night sky I had dreamed of seeing once more. Now I was gazing upon it, it felt strange. Different and new.

It wasn’t how I remembered it. It was more beautiful than I remembered.

The soft clicking of boots coming down the hall reached my ears. I didn’t bother to turn when Tawny came into the room. My lips turned up at her scent as she came closer. “Thank you,” I say, for her taking me and Seneca away from the cluster that was happening downstairs.

“He’s waiting.” She says lowly, speaking of Mathias.

“He can wait just a little longer. I’m not ready yet.” All I dreamed about was being held in my king’s arms once again but, when the time came, we both collapsed to our knees. Neither of us knew what to say.

He had cried when he realized Seneca was his. He wanted to hold her. To hold me but Seneca was having none of it. She didn’t just shy away from Mathias, she screamed at him and called for Kellen. I saw the hurt in his eyes. That’s when Tawny stepped in and took us inside quickly. She recognized the stress my child was under.

I didn’t know how to help Seneca. I hoped it was just the change. Everything was different for her. New air, new moon, people, and smells. She was frightened. I felt her fear for the first time and knew Kellen had felt it too.

“I’m afraid to put her down,” I tell my best friend honestly. “If she wakes and I am not there…” My words trail off thinking of how my child would react. I didn’t want to feel that fear inside her again. It was traumatic enough watching her tiny body break down once I couldn’t bear witness to it again.

“Maybe Kellen,”

“No! He is reuniting with his son and mate. He needs time Tawny. We need time.” I feel her small hand rest on my shoulder. I tip my head to touch the gesture, leaning it against the warmth of her hand. “How long Tawny?”

“Just over three years,” she says with a solemn voice.

“It was three thousand for us.” I can't bring myself to pull my gaze from the window as I think of the time lost between realms.

A gasp leaves Tawny, “No,” she says with disbelief.

Finally, I turn, settling my eyes upon the small werecat queen. The emotion reflected in her eyes caught in my throat. “We were close. We counted the days and nights. For every year here it was a thousand there.” I nod. “I was carried Seneca for well over what felt like centuries.”

“Oh, my goddess, Lamia.” A tear slips from her yellow eyes, rolling down her dark cheek. She swipes at it fiercely. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t cry. It’s been hard without you. For all of us.”

“It’s been hard without any of you,” I tell her holding back my own tears.

I wouldn’t know what I was crying for. Tears of happiness at finally being home or because of everything Kellen and I had been through.

“We never stopped looking for a way home.”

“We never stopped trying to find a way to bring you home.”

There’s a soft knock on the door and Tawny strides over to open it. “I’ll take it.” She says to the female on the other side. Tawny pulls in a cot on wheels, bringing it to the center of the room. “I figured this would do for tonight.”

“Thank you,” I say again, wondering if Seneca would sleep in it. She was used to lying with me or Kellen or sometimes both of us. “She has never slept on her own.” I divulge to Tawny.

I lay Seneca in the cot; she moves a little, but she doesn’t wake.

“We didn’t sleep at night. It was too dangerous.”

“Lamia… I don’t know what to say. I want to hear everything but…”

“But Mathias is waiting.” I sigh.

“Yes, he is.” She replies with a tone that matches the pity in her eyes. “You need to speak. He needs to hear from you what happened, and you need to know what happened here.”

“I’m not sure I have the energy,” I say honestly. I wanted to know. I wanted to ask about the triplets. I wanted to see my parents, I wanted to be held by my one true love. I just didn’t have the mental energy to go over everything in one night.

MacTire looked the same, but it didn’t. I was seeing it with new eyes. Eyes I had only used when in the other place.

“I don’t want you to be left alone. I don’t want to leave you alone. Not right now, not tonight.” She says coming to stand in front of me.

“I was never alone. I had Kellen. And Seneca.” I smile and wrap her tiny frame in my arms. “I missed you, Tawny. So much.” I breathed deeply, inhaling her scent, not just because I missed her so much but because it was the only way I could keep my tears at bay. “Crimson is waiting for you, and I can sense Mathias, his scent is wafting down the hall as he makes his way here.”

“You can smell him from here?” She pulls back looking at me incredulously.

“There are many things different about me old friend.” I let out a light laugh.

“Not just your hair? Which I love by the way.” She waves me off with her hand, making light of the conversation. Something I needed.

“No not just my hair.” I smiled, wondering how I was going to explain to anybody the changes Kellen and I have been through.

I hear Mathias, his barreled rum scent tickling my senses. “Leave me with him,” I tell my friend.

As she opens the door, the space is filled with the humongous frame of my Atman. My heart skips a beat just looking at him. My breath hitches when our eyes meet those swirling silver orbs heating me from the inside out.

Oh, how I had missed him.

Then why did it feel strange and awkward? Why did I feel like a young girl again whose crush just noticed them? I was nervous, I realized. Nervous to be alone with him. I didn’t know what to expect, things weren’t the same between us. They would never be like it once was. Yet I desired him the way I always had, more so now than when we first met.

The difference was that this time I had no wolf to tell me he was my mate. This time I knew in my heart and soul that this was the man made for me and I for him.

So why was I hesitant?

It wasn’t just me, as Mathias steps into the room, I notice his finger fidget against the rough jeans he wore. That was unusual. Typically, Mathias always wore pants, or a suit unless he was training.

“Mathias,” “Little Wolf.” We both speak at the same time.

“You first,” I offer still trying to figure out what I want to say to him. I have a lot to say, maybe too much.

“I don’t know what to say.” He says in a hushed tone, his eyes glancing to the cot where Seneca slept so far. “She so beautiful.” He says with a hitch in his breath causing one of my own.

“Mathias,” His eyes turned to mine looking at me like I was a rare and precious stone.

“Shh,” he tells me taking tentative steps toward me. “No words. They can come later. I just want to hold you. I’ve missed you. I almost broke without you.”

“I can imagine.”

“Our bond may have broken, your mark on my neck burnt off, but my love for you never wavered. Not once.” I see the truth in his eyes. The hurt, the relief, the love. His silver orbs said everything he couldn’t.

“Mathias…”

“I dreamt of you every night. Sometimes I woke up thinking you were right there, and it was all a bad dream. Some nights I could smell you, taste you on the tip of my tongue. And when I woke to find you still not here, the nightmare began all over again.”

I stayed alive hoping I would have the chance to see you one last time. I stayed alive for our daughter. Thousands of years passed where we were, yet only three here.”

“Only three that felt like an eternity without you.” His hand reaches out to me. I hesitate, just looking at his large and strong paws.

“For so long I craved to feel your touch. Now,” I look up into his eyes, holding them with mine. “Now I don’t remember how to know you.”

“Little wolf,” He calls me by the pet name he gave me when we first met. A time that seemed so far away now. “Let us learn to know each other again.”

I take his hand and gasp when sparks fly between us. “Our bond!” I exclaim excitedly then remember that Seneca is sleeping and much more quietly I say, “Our bond is still intact.”

“I never needed a bond to tell me we belong together. I have always loved you.” Enveloping me in his strong arms I breathe him in relishing the tingles that erupt all over my body.

“Hold me Mathias, just hold me.” Only now do I let the tears run freely as I feel whole once again. “Home,” I whisper through the free-falling tears.

“Home.” He repeats as we sway back and forth.

Neither of us means the place. But each other. He was my home, and I was his.

“Don’t ever leave me again little wolf. I don’t think I would survive it again.”

“Never,” I replied with as much conviction as I could muster.

*****

MATHIAS

Her hair was dark, as black as mine. Her body was slimmer and only scraps of cloth covered her body. No matter her appearance I knew my love without having to look at her.

I waited for the jealousy to kick in when she came through the hole holding Kellen’s hand, but it never came. Instead, my eyes were drawn to the tiny blond child in her arms.

On instinct, Arcas growled, his temper flaring. Not with jealousy, not with misplaced thoughts. It was anger for not being there for his mate and child. Unequivocally we knew the child with bright blond hair and bright shining eyes was ours.

Our anger turned to hate, hate for ourselves and that turned to grief and self-loathing. I dropped to my knees, salty tears stinging my eyes for I didn’t know, how could I, that she had given birth to our child.

The child had screamed, she had called another male papa. So many emotions gripped me, and I did nothing when Tawny took Lamia by the elbow and led her and the child into the castle.

I didn’t even know her name.

Shame, so much shame blanketed me that for some time I stayed in the garden not knowing how to approach the one person without whom I couldn’t live. I had failed her and our child.

Finally, as she stood before me and our hands touched, I felt a sense of calm overcome me. She was home. I held her tightly and whispered the things I could say. Listened to her melodic voice and felt her tears soak my shirt. She was real. She was home.

The past three years played through my mind like a show, yet they meant nothing, were nothing now I had my reality securely in my arms.

I wanted to kiss her, touch her, explore her. I held back because she was right, everything felt different, in a way it was all brand new again.

When we touched the familiar sparks of a bond danced across my skin, a sensation I had missed, a sensation I had almost forgotten what it felt like.

“Home.” I breathe against her, my lips pressing into her hair. My fingers lazily stroked the black locks that fell past her waist. “Let me take care of you little wolf.” I sense her hesitation. “I need this,” I admit.

“Okay,” She replies, lifting her head.

I gaze into her emerald eyes; the remains of her tears streak her cheeks. I stare, wanting to claim her lips. Instead, I laid a soft kiss on her forehead and reluctantly let her go. “Let me draw you a bath.” She nods, smiling at me.

I drew a bath for her, using the products provided, then led her in and helped her discard the scraps of fabric that had seen better days. Taking her hand I helped her step in, the whole time my eyes wandering her body. Not in lust, well maybe just a little, but seeing her new body and the new scars that littered her here and there.

Lamia lets out a sigh of contentment once lowered into the water. I kneeled beside her and began to wash the dirt and strange smell from her body.

“Three thousand years with only a small lake to wash in and drink from.” Her words catch me off guard and my hand stutters for a moment.

“Three years.” I correct her.

“No,” She lazily moves her head from side to side. “For every year here, it was a thousand there.”

“Tell me little wolf, I want to know.”

“Not tonight my King. Let us just be tonight.” She replies giving me the sense that she didn’t have the energy to tell her story tonight.

“At least tell me about our daughter. Her name?”

She smiles and shivers when I run the cloth over her chest. “Seneca. Her name is Seneca.” She sinks further into the water. “And she is very special.”

I believed it, I could sense it.

When the water turned cool and she allowed me to dry her off and carry her to bed, she talked about Seneca. Told me how it was the longest pregnancy ever. How she and Seneca had almost died. They had only lived because of Kellen.

It made me sad when she told me how Kellen had given his blood to our child, how they were blood-bonded. And even if the notion didn’t sit well with me, there was nothing I could do but be grateful that he had fallen through that veil with her. If he hadn’t neither of them might not be here today.

“She is two thousand years old?” I jest, trying to make light of the seriousness for once. Plus, I just wanted to see my little wolf smile.

“I guess she is in the realm she was born in.” Lamia gives a light chuckle; her smile quickly fades, a solemn expression coming over her. I don’t ask, I wait for her to tell me in her own time.

I lay down with her, pulling her back against my chest, wrapping her up with my arms again.

Lamia talks about Seneca, giving me snippets of what she is like and how smart she is. She talks until she can no longer keep her eyes open, and they flutter close.

I waited until her breathing slowed, and her lips parted before I shot a quick mind link to Hunji asking him to not let anyone disturb us so she could sleep in.

It was at some point in the early hours, before the sun had even come up that I felt her leave our bed. I tracked her with my hearing and sense of smell. She didn’t go far before she returned. “Where did you go little wolf?” I ask as she climbs back into bed after peaking at Seneca who amazingly still slept soundly.

“Nowhere far.” Is all she gives me. “Tomorrow, I want to know everything. I want to be debriefed.”

“Whatever your heart desires my love. Whatever you need.” I say softly pulling her against me and curling up with her. I would never have enough of this. It's all I needed to be right with myself.