FAZER LOGINI slowly lay down on my bed while holding the phone. "Ayos lang?" Hindi ko talaga alam, I am enjoying of course however, I just feel really drained. I heard him sighed on the other line. Before I let him say anything, inunahan ko na siya."Bakit ka napatawag? I thought you're in business trip? Marami kang oras para mag mukmok sa cellphone mo?" This time, I heard him chuckle."Well, Am I not allowed to call you? And yes, I'm still in a business trip also I always have time for my personal business," sagot niya.Napa-irap ako. Perosnal business? "You're not allowed to call me, that's not part of any agreement that we have. And your personal business does not include me," I fired back.Kusa nalang yan lumabas sa bibig ko. We have agreed on something, I agreed— voluntarily. I can't deny it, not now that I spill it on him. "You answered." he said as if it is the answer of all the problems in the universe.Tumahimik ako. Tama nga rin naman siya. If he is not allowed then why would I e
Me:Bakit?I tap the send button and put my phone above the table. Panay pa rin ang bangayan ng dalawa kong kaibigan kaya hindi ko nalang sila binigyan pa ng pansin. My phone then suddenly vibrated, kinuha ko ito at tinignan ang reply niya.Cameron:Is it bad to ask? It is. Kung hindi naman tayo gaanong ka-close.Me:Not really. I'm outside the convent. Kasama mga kaibigan ko.After masend ang reply ko ay napaisip ako kung bakit ko ba siya nireplayan? And why did I even answer his question? I bit my lips. Well, it's a normal decency of a person. He asked and I just answered. Tama lang naman ang ginawa ko.Cameron: I see. That's great. You should enjoy."Bukas pala, pupunta akong batangas. I will be going to try the buffet and the two of you will come with me," narinig kong sabi ni Ella.I put my phone inside my bag and did not reply to Cameron. There's no need for a word naman. "Wow! Ano kami? Assistant mo? Saka nasaan ba yang fiancee mo? Why don't you bring him instead?" Jam prote
Being a servant of god is the only way I can find peace, where I could express my feelings, where I could feel the warmth of him. Pakiramdam ko, kapag malapit ako sa kanya, I am being protected, I am being heard and I am being loved. That's why, I chose this path even after the words of the people around me— I chose this.Umalis agad kami ni Jam sa convent. I was sitting on the front seat of her hilux while she is beside me, driving. She's busy talking to her phone, maybe business.I met Jam in college, siya ang kauna-unahan kong naging kaibigan. Hindi siya gaanong malapit sa mga kaklase namin dahil na rin sa pagkamaldita niya. Although, I found her really kind, kaso yong aura niya lang talaga, nakakatakot. Eventually, dumami naman ang mga kaibigan niya dahil sa sobrang dal-dal niya rin. She's managing their family's business right now. She's one of the elites, after all.Tinignan ko ang tanawin sa labas. I can't help but to think about what she told me lately. I have only one reaso
Kinabukasan, maaga ulit akong nagising, not because of the sound of the bell in the convent and my alarm clock but because my phone rang. Sa una, akala ko si Cameron 'yon pero ibang pangalan ang nakita ko sa screen.And why would I expect him to call me early in the morning?"Head's up, Alya! Pumayag ka na! Saka this will be the first and last time na makakasama natin ang ating kaibigan!" I heard Jamaica yelled on the other line.Mabuti nalang at nilagay ko sa lamesa ang cellphone kung hindi, baka kanina pa ako nawalan ng pandinig. Inaayos ko ang belo sa aking ulo habang nakatingin sa sariling repleksiyon sa salamin. "I will go, Jam. Pero sa kasal na siguro, this time I cannot go with you para—"She cuts me off."What?! Ano ka? This is a girl's hangout! Kaibigan natin si Ella and we should at least be present sa mga gusto niyang gawin before her wedding! And she asked me to bring you kasi alam niya na hindi ka papayag kapag siya ang tatawag sayo!" One of our friends in college, Ell
Hindi ko agad naialis sa isip ko ang calling card.Buong araw akong abala sa feeding program—nag-aabot ng pagkain, nakikipaglaro sa mga bata, tumutulong sa paglilinis—pero kahit anong gawin ko, bumabalik pa rin sa isip ko ang sinabi ni Jill. Paminsan-minsan, napapahawak ako sa bulsa ko kung saan ko inilagay ang card. Hindi ko naman balak gamitin… pero bakit hindi ko maitapon?“Alya?”Napalingon ako kay Sister Esther. Nakatayo siya sa gilid, tahimik akong pinagmamasdan.“Opo, Sister?”“You seem distracted,” sabi niya, kalmado pero mapanuri.“Pagod lang po siguro,” sagot ko agad, pilit ngumiti.She nodded. “Make sure you rest.”“Opo.”Hindi na siya nagtanong pa, pero pakiramdam ko may napansin siya. And that made me uneasy.Nang matapos ang programa, unti-unti nang umalis ang mga bata. Bumalik ang katahimikan sa paligid, pero hindi sa isip ko. Habang nagliligpit ako, hindi ko maiwasang maalala ang kagabi.Walang Cameron.Walang katok.Walang kahit anong paramdam.Napabuntong-hininga ak
But when the night came—Everything felt heavier than usual.Tahimik ang buong convent, mas tahimik kaysa sa mga nakaraang gabi. Yung tipong pati sariling paghinga mo parang masyadong malakas sa pandinig. Nakatayo ako sa harap ng pinto ko, nakatitig sa lock habang hawak ko ang doorknob, hindi sigurado kung ano ba talaga ang gagawin ko.I told myself I would lock it.I told myself I wouldn’t let him in.I told myself this ends tonight.Pero kahit ilang beses kong ulitin iyon sa isip ko, hindi pa rin gumagalaw ang kamay ko. Parang may ibang desisyon ang katawan ko—something I didn’t want to admit.Minutes passed.Then an hour.Nakatayo pa rin ako roon, naghihintay.Sa bawat segundo na lumilipas, pakiramdam ko lalong bumibigat ang dibdib ko. Nakikinig ako sa kahit anong tunog sa labas—footsteps, a knock, kahit simpleng kaluskos lang—pero walang dumating.Walang kumatok.Walang Cameron.Slowly, my grip on the doorknob loosened.Napabuntong-hininga ako at tuluyang binitawan iyon. Dahan-dah







