LOGINLOLA
Eddy didn't smile.
He didn't say a word, but I could hear his thoughts loud and clear.
He probably thinks I've had eyes on Connor since that day I met him.
He must be thinking I was shameless to put up that rebellious act when he asked me to seduce Connor, only for him to catch me alone with him, in the most inappropriate outfit at an odd hour of the day.
Or maybe...he will see obedience and the desire of a wife to know what her husband's love feels like even if she had to do unspeakable things for it.
I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat from wanting to speak so many words at the same time.
I wanted to apologize, explain, excuse myself, start a conversation to lighten the atmosphere, just say something.
The urge to cough travelled rapidly from the bottom of my stomach. Suddenly, I didn't want to be the one to break the awkward silence.
I covered my mouth with my hands.
Connor spoke first.
"Hey, man! I didn't know you were up."
It was awkward enough before anybody said anything, but now that the silence had been shattered, it felt like hell was about to break loose.
My heart was beating fast. My eyes were fixed on Eddy's.
He shifted in his stance, turning to focus on Connor. I watched a small smile cross his lips and disappear again, like a glimpse of hope gone for good.
My thighs were still sticky and my p*ssy was still throbbing from Connor's touches, his words and the dream I had not been able to stop thinking about.
It made me feel more guilty to even say a word
"I'm glad you're enjoying yourself. Yes?" Eddy spoke, taking a few steps towards where we stood.
My foot shifted on its own, a step backward.
Eddy's gaze returned to me. I balled my fingers into fists beside me.
"I was on my way to the kitchen for some water. I heard a noise," I spoke before I was able to stop myself.
Eddy chuckled.
"Or... perhaps you were craving a bite of sandwich when the day had barely started."
His words tore through my heart like a clean push of a sharp dagger.
My body stilled with shock, but not surprise.
I looked at Connor, he was still there. He was listening.
I didn't care about the thick expression of displeasure on his face.
What did Eddy want?
We made a deal, and he goes back on the end of his bargain easily like this.
I searched my head for the best response to what he had just said.
"Tell me. Connor asked for some snacks too?" Eddy continued, as unhinged as he usually is, determined to ruin me completely before I get a chance to save myself.
I balled my fingers tighter, my nails digging deep into my skin, the sharp pain reaching out to every inch of my body.
"Eddy, you heard her. She..."
"No. I'm sorry. I was just about to leave, but I thought I should try some of these exercises. I heard they were good for people like me. Then, I got carried away, and ended up staying longer. And I wasn't going to get a sandwich. I just needed some outside air. I---I---," I blabbered down in my bid to stop Connor from talking.
Connor shouldn't be taking my side. It would only complicate things for me.
"You got carried away," Eddy repeated my words.
I looked up at him with teary eyes, in a silent plea to let me go.
I could handle him talking down at me to strangers, but not Connor, especially giving that my own part of the deal concerns him.
Eddy had left the door slightly open, so the corridor lights sipped into the dim lit room like a witness to what I had become to my own husband.
Eddy's face formed a smirk - the way his skin stretched to one side of his face in triumph made my skin crawl with shame.
Connor will never look at me the same again.
My head felt so heavy with shame, guilt, and regret.
I took another step backwards. I could feel.the force of the tears against my eye lids.
No! Don't cry. Not here.
My tears wouldn't win me any point for this one. Eddy would only laugh in satisfaction and Connor would pity me.
I didn't want any of that.
I turned abruptly, the hot trail of tears immediately hitting my cheeks.
I drew up a hand and with one stroke across my face, wiped the much my strength could carry.
I sniffled, and began to hurry out of the room. My legs were wobbly, but my mind was made up.
To hell with Eddy.
To hell with his ridiculous deal - one he could not even follow himself.
From when my parents got greedy and decided to trade me for their own financial benefit, I should have known that my life was doomed.
I shouldn't have believed that misleading thought that grew silently in a corner of my stomach - that I'd be liberated one day.
I shouldn't have listened to Eddy yesterday. I shouldn't have imagined being seen differently from imperfect, unappealing, nuisance.
Shame, heavy as lead, rested on my shoulders as I drew my legs across the floor, back to the room.
I heard footsteps - behind me, quite, steady and persistent.
Eddy was the last person I wanted to see if I must face somebody.
But then again, I can't throw him out of his own house, and I can't leave his house no matter how much I wanted to.
I sniffled again, the tears refusing to stop.
I kept on walking, faster so as to get to the room before he does, get to the bathroom before he had the chance to pull me around by the arm.
I had gotten to the door, and even turned the knob, about to swiftly let myself in when somebody grabbed my wrist causing me to freeze.
My ears tingled with the noise of all the mean words Eddy had ever spoken to me - the tone with which he had said them, the occasion, the people present.
Everything combined created a mess my body couldn't control in my head.
My sight was glazed with a thick film of tears, and my breathing heightened abnormally.
I grabbed my head with my free hand, but my body was too weak to hold up.
I found myself melting down.
Then, he let go of my wrists, and a pair of strong hands caught my weight from the back.
He held me from falling.
Eddy?
CONNORI had just finished doing the ward rounds for the morning and had sunk into my office chair, ready for my hot cup of tea, but suddenly, I didn't feel like taking anything anymore.The walls of my stomach felt stiff, leaving me wondering if I truly had to go to the restroom again barely two hours after the last time I went. But then, I was waiting for a call for one of my patients, and I had a spreadsheet to quickly inspect.Deciding on just water, I settled in to work on my computer.Not too long after, a quick knock broke against my door. Then, Claire came in with her hands hanging like they normally would when there was an emergency.There was this sense of urgency in her expression that made me almost grab my lab coat from the hanger in readiness to attend whatever medical emergency it could be."There's someone asking to see you," she dropped finally, causing me to sit back in my chair disappointedly."C'mon Claire. You're not new to this job. You know my schedule and you
LOLAStanding in line with the others, we waited for chef Clementine as he inspected our designs one after the other."It looks a bit too...I wouldn't say shabby. Maybe, you could concentrate more next time.""Uuuhm...I don't know, but something is definitely wrong with this.""Okay. Great job."I listened to his comments on the works before mine, and it made me wonder what exactly he would say to me.I had been out of it the entire time I designed, my cuttings weren't straight and my line works were just as messy. A part of my icing design was shaky, on the edge of falling.I knew very well why I had turned out like that, and he knew too, but he is probably going to brush it off.I held my breath when he approached mine.Adjusting his apron, he tilted his head to look at my own designed cake sitting pathetically in front of me.My fingers folded inwards beside me."Hmmm...what is your name again?" he asked, but it was very obvious he was putting up an act. He had asked me my name whi
LOLAMy stomach grumbled from not having anything to eat since last night.I wasn't too comfortable to eat from Connor's, and I was too anxious to eat before leaving the house.I thought about ordering a take out, but then, the consequences that would come from Eddy checking my order description and his demeaning words on my body size of two years made me lose my appetite."F*ck it!" I cussed against my breath, making a mental note to visit the closest bakery as soon as I could get a break from the classes."The chef is unusually late today," a blonde woman with a disturbingly heavy make-up sitting in front of me spoke, forcing me to check my own time only to find out that we had been sitting for over an hour waiting for the first lesson of the day.My stomach grumbled more and louder, forcing the skinny woman sitting beside me to give me a dead ass scrutinizing look."I'm sorry. I skipped breakfast," I muttered, staring apologetically in her direction.In response, she shook her head
LOLAAs Freddy began to walk away, I followed him, my chest pounding uncontrollably in my chest.We walked up the stairs until we were right on the second floor with my room a couple steps in front.He turned to face me. Despite the urge to fall on my knees and try to plead my way out of the terrible act of listening to his conversation with his father, I tried to maintain a straight expression.Without a single word, he stared me down like he too was finding it difficult to come up with a first word, or maybe, he was contemplating on how best to rebuke me.I couldn't stare him back in the eyes, maybe I would have been able to tell what his thoughts were.Exhaling sharply, he turned and began walking up the stairs.I thought about heading straight for my room, but instead, I followed him."Stop, Freddy. Maybe we could talk."He didn't reply, just kept going.He got to his room and let himself in, banging the door right in my face."Freddy! I am sorry for listening to your conversation
LOLAIt was an unusually chilly morning as I rode down town, my heart thumping heavily, every little sound causing me to jerk over.I didn't know how it happened, but the truth remains that it happened.I wasn't supposed to stay out last night, especially without informing Eddy. The only few times I had stayed out since my marriage were during my visits to my parents, which had only happened twice in two years — once with Eddy's permission, the other without and I paid dearly for it.Pulling into the compound, my stomach twisted painfully as I packed well in the garage.It took a long while before I found the courage to get out of the car. When I finally did, my legs felt too weak to walk the distance to the house.Earlier, I had rehearsed questions Eddy could possibly ask me, and the most appropriate replies I should give. I haven't even gone in, yet my hands were already shaky behind me.I almost tripped when my phone started to vibrate inside my bag. Sighing, I dug it out with trem
CONNORA warmth, sudden and familiar, hit my face, forcing me to turn over.Blindly, I searched around my lower body for the sheets, and when I had grabbed it, I tried pulling it over my shoulders, but the other end of it wouldn't bulge.Groaning, I stretched against the bed, my knuckles colliding mercilessly with the bedframe to produce a striking sound.The pain spread mercilessly across my arm, forcing me to swallow the hard ball of urge to change my bed to a more modern style.With my eyes still shut, I tried rolling over to the other side of the bed, but crashed against an obstruction.My brain processed it quickly, noting that I wasn't alone on the bed, but before I could make out who the company was and why they were there, I was distracted by a heaviness around my waist.It was so distinct and full, my eyes flung open, my fingers working frantically to push the sheets away from my body, my thoughts roaming hard, fearing the worst possible outcome.My breathing dropped.My body
FREDDYI stretched hard against the softness of the sheets with my jet black duvet in a dump against my body like it was casually abandoned there.My eyes were still shut but I could feel the slight warmth of the morning sun against my face."Don't shut your eyes. Watch me."Immediately, my eyes sl
FREDDYI turned sharply to the door, my body cold with a feeling I couldn't admit as fear.But Lola had dived off my body, swift, like she had been waiting for this moment.Then, she was at the door, but she didn't open it.She locked it.I watched her turn the lock intentionally, twice, the sound
CONNOR"Was that necessary?" I straightened my posture, turning to look at Eddy, my body stiff from anger I could not fully express - partly because it might end up stripping bare my secret feelings, Eddy could read through lines, and then, because I still wanted to respect my friend whose house I
FREDMONI turned endlessly on my bed, regretting why I had made the decision to come back to my family.I hated them. I didn't need them. I was doing well in Europe. They appreciate my music. I had a comfortable life, and I slept well.I was this close to booking a flight for the next morning, but







