I MIGHT NEVER HAVE

GREGORY

The city stretched out in front of me as I gazed out of the window, the after taste of the white wine still lingering somewhere down my throat.

My fingers stiffened against the glass wedged between them, still half filled.

The loud thoughts I had carried carefully since the first day weighed in my chest.

I grunted, clearing my throat loudly.

I couldn't hold it down, but I couldn't even move forward with everything happening in my family at the moment.

I knew I needed to be careful. There was the company, and the future of my sons.

I knew it wasn't going to be easy. Maybe, Lola was a distraction that shouldn't even cross my mind, but I couldn't help it. 

Sighing, I clasped my fingers tighter around the glass, glaring hard at the landscape of the city. 

Lola's room was right next to mine, but what good does that even do me if I can't call her over.

It just kept getting harder for me to sleep, especially with knowing she was inside, probably taking a bath or sprawled out n*ked on the bed.

My body stiffened to the thought of her a*s against my face, and the practiced motion of my c*ck inside of her 

Gasping hard, I tilted the glass against my mouth and gulped down what was left inside of it.

Groaning,I shut my eyes and drew in a long breath, my chest heaving up to the pressure. Slowly, I exhaled, rubbing my palms together as fast as I could.

My waist felt tight, and I could feel the heaviness between my thighs. Still, I didn't want to indulge. 

Rubbing my palms together faster, the warmth of the friction biting through my skin, I tried to think of something else — the loads of documents I needed to review, the shares reallocation program, the tentative plans about the restructuring of the new company project and its overall management.

The thoughts seemed like they were floating around in my head, no solid grip.

I couldn't hold it down. I couldn't stop thinking about her. Throwing my head back, I turned to stare at the wall beside me — the one I believed was the only barrier between her room and mine.

I stared hard at it like doing so would cause it to be suddenly transparent.

My feet stiffened against the floor and my eyes watered with a desire that had grown over the years — a desire that couldn't be easily shaken off by pretending that it wasn't there.

Shutting my eyes and tightening my fingers into fists, I drew in a long breath from the innermost depth of my stomach, my pulse rising to the contraction in my chest, before breathing out with a new confidence.

I didn't think I could do this again, but I was too fired up to completely ignore.

Hurrying into the bathroom, I turned the shower on. As I stared at the water spattering noisily on the tiled floor, that personal belief that it would distract the universe from what I was about to do built up.

When I was satisfied with the level of noise in my head, I peeled my clothes off, leaving them right there — on the bathroom floor.

Walking over to my bedside drawer, I pulled the bottom compartment out and grabbed a tube of lube.

As I uncovered it, I stared down hard on the adult sized mannequin laying on my bed — I had always had one, since I discovered I couldn't have Lola easily.

My gaze trailed along the plastic from toes to head, my hand catching the shaft of my thick c*ck, already erect in front of me like a gun ready to be fired.

Applying a generous amount of the gel into my palm, I massaged my c*ck gently, from base to top, my breathing hardening against my throat.

Climbing over the plastic, I stared even harder at it.

Lola smiled at me.

She was bare — completely bare. Her voluminous br*asts balanced on her chest like huge watermelons waiting to be feasted on.

Her body was full and nice, her mouth slightly parted like she was in the middle of a moan, and her hands stretched out beside her in total surrender.

My eyes travelled down to the parting between her legs.

"Mmmmhmmm!" my breathing dipped, my fingers gliding slimily against my shaft, the veins stretching out thick through the skin.

Swallowing hard, I came down between the thighs of the plastic, back and forth and continuously, my breathing proceeding heavily and uncontrollably.

With my hands pinned against the bed beside it, I continued to dig in and out, my back aching forward and my waist working tirelessly.

Slowly, I watched a smile unravel against her face, the cheeks turning pink and her eyes thinning with pleasure.

"You like it?" I asked out aloud. For a second, the image before my eyes switched from Lola to the mannequin, and back to Lola again, and then, the mannequin.

I shook my head severally, finally shaking off reality to immerse myself in the shamelessness of my own imaginations.

I stared hard at her face for an answer to the question I had asked, my heart beating very fast.

It was mechanical, almost as if her neck were hanging on bolts and nuts, but I watched her head turn from one side to the other side.

It took a moment for the message to register. Beads of sweat formed against my forehead and my body jerked hard with an emotion I couldn't describe.

Throwing myself off the mannequin, I landed with a loud thud on the other side of the bed.

Watching my chest as it expanded and contracted, I imagined Lola crawling towards me, her bre**sts bulky and her n*pples hard.

"You, little hoe," I muttered, my insides filling up fast with a sharp sensation.

I gave my cock another stroke down, muttering her name continuously while I continued to stroke.

I felt it — cold, shameless, unstoppable. My thighs were damp, and slippery, the putrid smell of my own come hitting my nostrils.

I sniffed hard, my throat clogging from the intensity of my desire.

Her face broke into a smile, and it made me go wild. My lips gaped apart and my eyes watered, but my imaginations were shattered to falls when a loud knock broke against my door.

It was sharp, urgent, impossible to ignore.

I gasped, drawing my sheets across my thighs to clean up the mess caked there.

The knock came again.

"Hold on," I grunted, my voice sharp and busines

s-like again, like I had not been wallowing pathetically to the thoughts of the woman I might never have.