I SEE HER EVEN WHEN SHE IS NOT THERE

FREDDY

I stretched hard against the softness of the sheets with my jet black duvet in a dump against my body like it was casually abandoned there.

My eyes were still shut but I could feel the slight warmth of the morning sun against my face.

"Don't shut your eyes. Watch me."

Immediately, my eyes slipped open.

I was back in my room, and of course, Lola wasn't here.

I sighed wearily, getting off the bed even though I still felt drowsy and weak.

Walking slowly to the window, I drew the blinds open and looked out into the yard.

The estate was empty. The sun was smiling brightly and Beverly Hills seemed happy. It was like nobody cared about how troubled my heart had become. 

From the topmost floor of Eddison Langford's mansion, I looked down at the flower hedges that had turned into little bunches of bright red petals. 

I shook my head, the urge to regret why I had accepted all these trouble of having to identify as a Langford again creeping in.

I sighed, brushing the feeling to the back of my mind. It was going to be a lot of trouble, of course. Everything that concerns Langford, for me, spelled trouble, but I was already here.

Not because I can't get on the next flight back to Norway, Lola was here.

I sighed, wiping down on my face.

I wondered what was happening downstairs, how Lola was feeling after last night's escapade.

I thought about Eddy. 

I had to leave Lola before the first break of daylight. I was very careful as I sneaked out of the room even when Lola had said there was nothing to fear or hide for.

But I still thought about it. What would Eddy think? Breakfast table was definitely going to be a lot, if Eddy was the type that handled his family issues without any shame.

My phone buzzed on the bedside table, breaking into my thoughts.

It was my coach, Drex.

"Hi, Coach. I told you the last time that I needed to catch up with my girlfriend at Mali," I breathed out impatiently.

"Calm down, big man," Drex chuckled, exhaling loudly into the receiver, then cackling a cough.

"I just wanted to see how ya doowin," he finished.

"Dress warmly, Chief. You always forget your jacket. So much for someone who can't do without a cigarette out in the cold," I snarled threateningly.

"Big man, you only saw that once."

"Norway hockey doesn't allow that," I countered.

"It was just once," he argued.

"You said it yourself. I saw you once. You could have done it a thousand times before then."

Silence.

Everyone thinks Coach Drex was a handful, but I have my way around him and somehow, we had managed to become the closest buddies on the team.

"Don't worry. My lips are tied," I added, breaking into a small laugh.

"Motherf*cker!" he cussed.

"Have it your way," I responded and we both bursted into laughter.

Later on, he made me promise to be back to the team house immediately my leave was due, which was in six days' time and to join the team meeting scheduled for 12pm the next day.

"Right, Coach!" I beckoned before finally cutting off the line.

I had made a new life outside Beverly Hills, better than being a Langford, better than formal suits and sitting through boring official meetings, not allowed to water my passion and a brother that would rather not have me in his way.

I headed to the bathroom, pulling my shirt through my head and leaving it to its fate against the floor.

The bath tub was full when I stepped inside. I had forgotten to drain the water last night.

I sighed, looking away for the shower head even though I hadn't seen one when I looked yesterday.

As a hockey player, I was used to public bathing with my team players and showers when I was back in my house.

Everything about being a Langford was uncomfortable. I sighed, pushing open the drain of the bath tub.

As I watched the water drain off slowly, the slurping sound it made as it found its way through the under pipe took my mind back to Lola's ear eating pleasure.

I could still feel her breath around that part of my skin. I sighed.

"Another man's food now," I cautioned myself, flexing my arms out, shutting my mind to that incident that would most likely never happen again.

But I could only try.

If I had my way, I would be with Lola again, on the same bed, our bodies bare against each other's, our eyes searching and our minds working for the right time to strike, to cause those forbidden emotions to break loose, to make each other compete for the loudest moan.

I was stroking myself to the thoughts I could not keep out of my mind.

I didn't want to stop, so I kept going.

Then, I heard her voice again.

"Watch!" 

I kept my eyes peeled on the length between my thighs, on the memories from last night, on Lola's eagerness to sin even when it meant locking her husband out.

I stroked harder. And harder. And harder.

I bit down on my lower lip to avoid making an audible sound.

I watched the first burst out of c*m spatter across my thighs, some escaping to the floor, tiled and white.

My legs were numb against the ground. My thoughts went wild.

I remembered how my stomach had tightened to Lola guiding my c*ck into herself.

How my entire body had stiffened to watch her moan as a result of having me inside herself again, after such a long time.

I gagged. I was drizzling hot, thick c*m.

Not thinking twice, with my palms, I guided the c*m from flying off, and in a moment, my skin was dazzling fine with the white sticky fluid.

I continued stroking, faster, harder, and I continued to drizzle.

"Lola!" I gasped, giving myself a slow high pressure stroke from base to tip.

"Lola...Lola...Lola," I continued to mutter her name under my breath, imagining that she was right in front of me, sucking on her tongue in pleasant surprise at the sight of the show I couldn't stop myself from putting up.

I shut my eyes tighter, then I heard her voice.

"Watch it. I want you to watch."

My chest bloomed with an uncontrollable desire, then squelched into anger and then regret.

I groaned deeply, opening my eyes to my c*ck which had become sore and swollen.

Even in that moment, only one thought crossed my mind - if only Lola was here to plop my mass into her mouth.

From the direction of the door, I heard a slow swing, then a locking clasp.

Someone had entered my room.

I shivered, releasing my grasp on my c*ck.

My hands were slippery and dirty. My eyes moved from the empty bath tub to the towel on a hanger in a corner, my mind roaming for answers.

"Fredmon!" I heard a voice call out from a distance not very far from the bathroom door.