TONY’S POV “What’re you waiting for? Suck it already.” Luke says.“It’s just so big, I’m not sure it’ll fit.” I tell him.“I’m sure you can make it fit.” “Okay.” And because I can, I do. I take him all the way into the back of my throat.I’m kneeling between his spread legs as he sits on the edge of the sofa, hands dangling freely over his spread knees, while he instructs me and guides me, praising me on how good I'm doing. “Yeah, just like that. Take it all the way. I love it when you choke on it. So fucking tight. You’re perfect, baby.” I know It’s reckless, doing this in the living room when Vanya could walk in at any minute. But it’s happened before, I’m sure it’ll happen again and honestly, I don’t care. Still, all that worry disappears the moment his hands find my neck. “You feel so fucking good,” he groans, one of his thumbs pressing down on the hinge in my jaw.But fucking good isn’t mind-blowing though. And that exactly what I want to be. I drag my tongue alo
TONY“Vanya?” I call out, my voice echoing softly in the silent hallway. I knock lightly on her door just in case, but yeah, she must’ve already left for class.I sigh and walk into the living room, where the morning light pours through the windows, casting soft gold across the hardwood floor. Vanya’s weapon of choice is still on the floor. I pick it up and move to the recessed nook behind the couch and place it on the bookshelf.“Lukas?” No response. I guess he must have slipped out too, after…well, after the apology blowjob. The one that made me come so hard, I practically blacked out.I stretch, and a satisfying pop echoes through my spine. I wander over to the coffee table and check my phone, before plopping myself down on the sofa.09:13 AM.I squint at the lock screen. A few missed messages, group chat memes, a reminder about the student council meeting, and one from my TA asking if I’m still presenting this week. Right. The psych seminar. And a text from my boyfriend.L
TONY’S POV“I didn’t tell him anything. Oh my god!”“Yes, you did Vanya! Stop fucking lying. How else would he have known?! Lukas all but yells.“Well I’d tell you, if you’d just shut the hell up for one second!.” She retorts.He turns to face me, “I got back to the dorm on Saturday and found them both completely out of it. And Nobody knows how to make the most out of their weekend like Vanya.” “That has nothing to do with anything you sanctimonious prick.” Vanya sneers.I take off my reading glasses and rub my eyes. I’m too drowsy for this. “Both of you calm down.” I try. Unfortunately it’s impossible to get to them when they’re like this. It's barely 6:00 a.m., and they're already at each other's throats. Caleb found out about Lukas and me, and now Lukas is losing it, pacing in front of the media console like a madman, hurling accusations at Vanya for spilling the secret. It's not fair, especially considering how long she's kept it to herself. Vanya, standing behind the ve
CALEBThe hallway in Ray street A is quiet when we get there, Vanya insists on coming inside the dorm room with me.“What for?” I ask, with my hand lingering on the doorknob.“I told you before I like you. I want to get to know you.” She shrugs, like it’s no big deal. I don’t know what she see on my face, hopefully not the anxiety I’m feeling, but she quickly adds “as a friend Caleb, a friend.” Which doesn’t help.“I don’t need anymore friends.”“Sure. Your best friend “Tyler” is more than enough for you.” She rolls her eyes, and I mirror the gesture, which makes her laugh.I turn the doorknob and the door creaks open, I motion for her to lead the way, which she does.She inhales deeply “Mmmm. it smells so good in here!” It smells like a fucking laundromat. It’s the goddamn air freshener Luke uses. “I like what you’ve done with your side of the room.” She continues, looking around like she’s making an assessment. What I’ve done with my side? I haven’t done anything. Th
CALEB. I wake up the next morning with a tongue as thick as mud and as dry as sandpaper plus my stomach rolls with every little movement. My head throbs like it’d been hit multiple times. My hoodie smells like liquor and drool and weed. There’s a vague memory of Vanya trying to drag me home, it felt like I actually went with her. Must have been a dream, that’s why I’m here in a jumbled mess of arms and limbs on the couch. My phone is wedged under my hip, buzzing. 06:06 AM. Saturday, 24 September. Thank fuck it’s the weekend. Vanya is nowhere to be found. As I try to pull my legs out of the mess, I feel something rough against my skin. A damn sequin dress. Red and glittery. I remember it from last night. Of course I fucking remember. Chris. I think his name is Chris. Chris in bright red sequin dress pirouetting like he was born in it. It started as a joke, he came in already wasted, dared himself to wear a dress which he got from god-knows-where. Next thing he strutted
TONY’S POV( at the hockey house party)I don’t have to wait long. It’s always been this way, Lukas chasing after me. He’s right behind me, shutting the door.“Hi.” I say“Hi.” He replies, already stepping towards me, until my back meets the door. The room smells faintly of incense and sandalwood and cologne. Something like an altar stands near the window, with candles and feathers. The music downstairs hums through the floorboards covered with deep rugs, like a distant pulse, but up here—it’s just us. “ Nice hoodie” he smirks“You like?” I spin around quickly, heart thudding, showing him the number four across my back.“Hmm. But I’d really like to see what’s under.” He murmurs, his warm, greedy hands gliding over my skin. He lifts the hoodie, his eyes sweeping over the fading love marks on my body with open appreciation. “Get up here and kiss me.” I tell him. He does this—quickly, deeply, tenderly—leaving my brain scrambled. All I can do is cling to the sweet feel of it. “Yo
CALEBI’m buzzed. I don’t know how many cans of beer I’ve chugged. I don’t know who I’m trying to impress, I can’t feel my fucking limbs. But I don’t stop drinking. And Vanya is so drunk, she’s practically on my lap. I don’t know any other way to tell her I’m not interested. Luke keeps eye-fucking Tony from where he’s seated on the kitchen counter. I don’t know how nobody notices. They’re sexting with their eyes. A guy with a denim vest—Sydney I think—leans forward to spread a deck of cards facedown around a Rick and Morty Portal cup, explaining the King’s Cup house rules.Someone lights a blunt and passes it around. It gets to me and I take a long drag, letting it settle in my lungs, before passing it to Vanya still perched on my lap. I like the way I feel: relaxed and super chill. Vanya leans forward and flips over an eight. “Mate” she says. I’m not surprised when she looks at me without hesitation. “Caleb is my drinking mate.” Everyone probably thinks we’re dating, so I don’t
TONY’S POVWe make our way to the men’s hockey house off campus in silence. The silence isn’t suffocating. It’s wide and big enough to hold the two of us. Enough for my mind to drift. The closer we get to the hockey house, the deeper Caleb’s head sinks into his skinny shoulders. It’s obvious he doesn’t want to be here. I don’t want to be here, but I have to see Lukas. I couldn’t go to Lukas’ game because his dad was there. He’s never in a good headspace after being around his father. Even his mom couldn’t handle it. So she chose to leave—by swallowing a whole lot of sleeping pills.The man has hated me ever since he noticed the way Lukas and I were together, the way it was different from how he was with his other friends back at Ashwick. It wasn’t like Lukas had stopped hanging out with his old friends. He still did—at least, he tried. But it was always different.One day, Lukas and I were together in his room, and his dad barged in, his eyes bright with cruelty, He threw accu
Maybe missing lectures for one whole week was a bad and self destructive decision on my part—what started as one week gradually turned into two whole weeks. My academics weren’t impressive before then, but now? It’s completely and utterly hopeless.Since the humiliating ordeal with Tyler, I haven’t said a single word to my roommate.It could be from a place of malice and anger—twice, he stood by and let his friends humiliate me. I suppose, the anger should be directed at myself for being weak and skinny. Or maybe it’s just inferiority. I can’t tell. It’s been a long and draining day of pretending that I was still a student who gave a damn. I sat at the back of each lecture hall, taking notes, but nothing stuck, the more I tried to focus the more the words had no meaning. It felt like I was watching the whole exchange of information between the professor and students, from afar. I felt like a ghost, being present and absent at the same time. Back at the dorm, sitting at my d