Two

Sadies POV,

I got home and my mother had dinner in the microwave. “I’m sorry I was so late.” She said to me.

“It’s okay ma I understand.”

“Who was that boy sitting next to you?” I took a deep breath.

“No one,” I said looking down.

“Remember Sadie Grace, don’t get too close.” I sighed.

“I know ma.” I heated up my dinner and headed up to my new room. I was so sick of moving around, but we had to leave again. My mother set my pills down on my nightstand. I hated these pills they always made me feel like a zombie. I wasn’t sick, but it was the only way my parents could understand me. They refused to believe me when I told them differently. I’ve been in six different hospitals and have been in therapy for as long as I can remember. I have caused a lot of bad things to happen and it was always chopped up to be schizophrenia, but I knew better. I know what’s wrong with me, but no one listening. Even when I tell them the truth. So I don’t anymore, I don’t show them or tell them who I really am. I go along with the doctors and admit to being sick. I’m not allowed to make friends because my friends get hurt. I’m especially not allowed to have a boyfriend. My emotions are too out-of-control for that.

I sat on my bed and Jacob came to my mind. I tried to read him as much as possible, but I couldn’t get too much from him. The one thing that radiates off of him is misery. The guy is sad and lost. I knew how he felt, but he also had kindness in his eyes towards me. I knew I had to do my best to stay away from him. I ran my hand over my eyes. I hated this. I hated the fact that it was even too hard for me to just have a friend. Why does my life have to be so hard? Why do I have these demons inside of me? All I have ever wanted was a normal life.

I climbed out of my bedroom window and sat on the roof. I looked out over this town. I could see the lights on in people’s homes and I wondered what was going on in other people’s homes. Homes that had normal daughters who weren’t freaks. Daughters who weren’t sick. Daughters who had friends and boyfriends. The night was cool and clear. The dark sky was full of stars. I laid back and just looked up at the stars, wishing I could just float up into the sky. I closed my eyes and Jacob’s face came into my mind. He looked beat up. I could see him standing in a bathroom. He had tears falling down his cheeks. I could feel his pain in my heart. His lip had a cut and there was some blood. My eyes flew open and I felt like I was having a panic attack. I sat up and started to look around.

I had no idea where he lived, but it was driving me crazy to find him. Someone had hurt Jacob and I wanted, no I needed to go to him. I closed my eyes again and tried to find him, but I wasn’t getting anything. I took a deep breath and tried to relax. Where are you? I said to myself. I saw him again, he was sitting on some steps, but what steps? I got up and walked over to the railing and looked down to the ground. I was trying to find a way down. It wasn’t too late and I knew my parents were still awake. I needed to go to him. I looked back to my house and looked at my light on in my bedroom. I eyed it for a moment and it shut off. I took a deep breath and jumped off the roof. I landed on my feet and started to walk. I had to stop a couple of times and close my eyes to find him. He was still sitting on some steps and I knew I was going in the right direction. I ended up in a very rich neighborhood. Lots of big beautiful houses.

I closed my eyes again, but I couldn’t find him. I knew I was close so I just started walking around. That’s when I saw him. He was sitting on the side of a very fancy home. It was kind of dark and if you didn’t know it, you wouldn’t have seen him. I took a deep breath as he just looked so lost. His beautiful blue eyes looked dark and sunken in. His dark black hair was a mess. His body was leaned over and he looked like he had the weight of the world on his back. If you didn’t know of his pain. You would have only thought about how beautiful he was. Jacob was tall with broad shoulders. Athletic was an understatement for the body type he had. Looking at him you would have no idea that he was still just a kid. He looked as though he spent all his time in a gym. He was at least two feet or more taller than I was. I had to look up at him when we stood together.

I stood there just watching him. I wanted so badly to go over and sit with him, but how was I to explain how I had been there in the first place. He would never understand. He would think I was crazy just like the rest of the world. I took a deep breath and just watched him. He was looking up at the sky and saying something to himself. I couldn’t make out the words. Just then the side door to the house opened. An older woman stepped outside and took a seat next to him. I believed maybe she was his mother. She laid her arm around him and he laid his head on her shoulder. They were talking but I couldn’t hear them. I was getting frustrated so I tried to move closer. I watched as I could feel his anger starting to grow. He got up and said something and then just walked off. His mother stood up and called out his name, but he just kept walking. She shook her head and went back inside.

I started to follow him as he made his way towards a park. He took a seat on a park bench. I sighed as his pain became, even more, real to him. I couldn’t help myself, I walked closer to him. He was crying now and hiding his face. Please don’t be upset with me, I said to myself as I walked over and took a seat next to him. He jumped a little and then his eyes went wide as he looked at me. I just gave him a small smile. “Sadie?” He softly said.

“Hi,” I said to him without any explanation.

“What the hell are you doing out here?”

“Can’t a girl just be out for a walk?” I asked him as he tried his best to wipe his eyes and cover his pain. I tried to read him, but I couldn’t. “What are you doing out here?” I asked him trying to make him think I didn’t see him cry. He looked away and did his best to maintain. It was hard to watch him struggle.

“I just needed some air.”

“Yeah, me too. Do you mind if I join you?” He turned and looked at me.

“I don’t mind it at all.” We sat there together and just stayed quiet. I felt a calm wash over him and I knew I was helping some. The wind started to get a little colder. I wrapped my arms around myself. I then felt a jacket placed around me. I looked as Jacob was covering me with his coat. “It gets cold out here at night.” He said with a smile. I smiled back at him. “I know you don’t live in this neighborhood Sadie. What are you doing over here?”

“I like long walks,” I said hoping he would fall for it. “I can go if you want me to?”

“No, I like your company.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” I said looking to the ground.

“Not really.”

“Okay,” I said and left it alone. I watched him touch his lip and then he looked away from me. “I don’t care for your father too much,” I said trying to change the subject.

“Yeah, and why is that?”

“I don’t like what I see when I look in his eyes.”

“And what do you see?”

“Hatefulness.” I heard him snicker to himself.

“You have no idea.” I reached out and touched my hand to his face. I wanted to draw some of his pain away. He closed his eyes and pushed his face into my hand some. I closed my eyes and felt his heartache.

“I’m sorry your sad,” I said and he just breathed in and kept his eyes closed.

“I’m sorry you’re sad too.” He said as if he could feel my pain, but I knew that wasn’t true. Otherwise, he would run from me. Actually, that would be the best thing he could do. Was to run from me and stay away.

“I should get home before my parents realize I’m gone and send out a search party,” I said as I started to stand up.

“Wait, can I walk you home? I’m not ready to go home just yet.” He asked me. I nodded at him. He stood up and took my hand in his and we started to walk. We didn’t say anything, but I could feel a calmness that seemed to cover both of us. I had never felt anything like it before in my life. I felt normal around him. Like I was just like all the other girls in the world. Like he would protect me no matter what he knew about me. I moved just a little closer to him and kept my hand in his.

We started to get closer to my home and I stopped walking. “I don’t want to wake my parents,” I said and he turned to look at me.

“What home is yours?” He asked me. I pointed to it and he looked at it.

“What window is your room?” I smiled at him.

“Why Jacob? Would you like to come up?”

“You have no idea Sadie, but no I just want to know where you sleep.” He said. I smiled again and pointed up to my bedroom window. His cut on his lip was slowly bleeding some. I reached out and softly wiped his mouth with my thumb. He took a deep breath. I let go of his hand and left him standing there as I went up to my house. I stopped and turned to look at him one last time, but he was already gone.