Chapter 17

Zinnia’s POV

We walked until the light started to leave the sky.

Joseph found a small hollow between thick roots and low rocks. It was not much, but it hid us from the open forest. We dropped our small bag and sat down hard.

June was quiet all afternoon. He had not spoken much since we left Harlan’s cabin. I thought he was only tired. I was wrong.

Night came fast. The air turned cold. We ate the last of the dried meat and drank the rest of the water. Christiana took first watch a short distance away. Joseph sat near the edge of the hollow, listening to the dark.

I lay down with June against my chest. His small body felt warm. I thought he would fall asleep quickly.

Instead he started to shake.

At first I thought he was cold. Then I heard the soft sounds coming from his throat. He was crying in his sleep.

“June,” I whispered. I rubbed his back. “It is okay. Mama is here.”

His eyes opened suddenly. They were wide and full of fear. He looked past me like he was seeing something else.

“New Mommy,” he said in a small broken voice. “She is taking me. Papa is watching. He does not stop her.”

My heart cracked. “No, baby. That is not real. You are with me.”

He clung to my shirt and cried harder. “She smiles but it is not nice. Papa looks at me like I am not there. I call for you and you do not come.”

I held him tighter. Tears burned my own eyes. “I am here now. I will not leave you. I promise.”

He kept crying. The words kept coming between his sobs. “New Mommy says you do not want me. Papa lets her say it. I am scared, Mama.”

Each word felt like a knife. Guilt rose so strong I could barely breathe. I had stayed too long in that house. I had let June see too much. I had let him call another woman Mommy while I stood frozen.

“I am so sorry,” I whispered into his hair. “I should have taken you away sooner. I should have been stronger.”

June’s crying slowly turned into shaky breaths. He stayed pressed against me, but the nightmare still held him.

Joseph moved closer. He did not speak at first. He just sat down near us and waited.

After a while he spoke in a low, calm voice. “Hey, little man.”

June turned his face a little toward the sound.

Joseph kept talking, soft and steady. “Nightmares are just bad stories the mind tells when it is tired and scared. They feel real, but they are not. Your mama is right here. She fought wolves for you. She ran through the night for you. She is not going anywhere.”

June sniffled. “Papa did not want me.”

Joseph was quiet for a second. Then he said, “Some people do not know how to love the right way. That is not your fault. It never was.”

June’s voice was tiny. “Will he come take me?”

“No,” Joseph said. The word was firm but gentle. “Your mama and I will not let that happen. You are safe with us.”

I watched Joseph’s face in the low light. He did not look at me. He kept his eyes on June. His voice stayed even and kind.

June’s shaking slowed. He listened.

Joseph kept going. “When I was small, I had bad dreams too. My father was a hard man. He made me feel like I was never enough. For a long time I believed him. Then I learned something important. Other people’s coldness does not decide your worth. You decide that.”

June wiped his face with the back of his hand. “Did your bad dreams stop?”

“They got quieter,” Joseph said. “And I got stronger. Same as you will.”

June was silent for a long time. Then he whispered, “Can you stay close while I sleep?”

Joseph nodded. “I will be right here.”

I felt June’s body slowly relax against me. His breathing evened out. After a while he fell back asleep, one hand still holding my shirt.

I stayed still, staring at the dark trees. The guilt did not leave. It sat heavy in my chest.

Joseph spoke again, softer so he would not wake June. “He will be okay. Children are stronger than we think.”

“I let him stay in that house too long,” I said. My voice sounded rough. “I let him see me weak. I let that woman near him.”

“You were surviving,” Joseph answered. “That is not the same as failing.”

I shook my head. “It feels the same.”

He was quiet for a moment. “My mate died three years ago. After that I made a lot of wrong choices. I pushed people away. I worked until I could not feel anything. For a long time I thought that was strength. It was not. It was just fear.”

I looked at him. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because you are carrying too much blame,” he said. “You got your son out. You are still fighting for him every hour. That is what matters.”

The words settled somewhere deep. I did not fully believe them yet, but they did not bounce off either.

Christiana came back from the watch and took in the scene with one look. She said nothing. She just sat down and rested her back against a rock.

June slept deeper now. His face looked softer.

I brushed his hair back. “I keep seeing the night he called her Mommy. The way he walked into her arms. It plays over and over in my head.”

Joseph’s voice stayed low. “He was five. He was confused and looking for warmth. That is all. He knows who his mother is. He proved it every day since you left.”

I swallowed hard. “I am afraid the nightmares will stay with him.”

“They might for a while,” Joseph said. “But he has you. That will help more than anything else.”

We sat in silence after that. The forest made small night sounds. An owl called somewhere far away.

I felt something shift inside me. Not trust exactly. Not yet. But the hard wall I had kept around myself when I looked at Joseph felt a little thinner.

He had not tried to fix me with empty words. He had spoken to my son like June mattered. He had stayed close without asking for anything in return.

Christiana spoke from her place in the dark. “Sleep if you can, Zinnia. I will take the next watch with Joseph. You need rest too.”

I nodded. I lay down carefully with June still against me. His small hand stayed wrapped in my shirt.

Joseph moved a short distance away but stayed close enough that I could see his shape in the dark.

I closed my eyes.

The guilt was still there. The fear was still there. The power under my skin still hummed, waiting for the last of the seal to break.

But for the first time in many nights, the weight on my chest felt a little lighter.

June slept without crying again.

And I let myself believe, just for a few hours, that maybe we were not completely alone in this.