REALITYDELILAHGod, I’m tired. I know I have been pushing myself when Miles is home, but is it normal to want to sleep every time Lola is down?Maybe I am just catching up.I make sure that Miles gets his time with Lola when he’s on the road, but when she’s asleep, I generally am as well. The text chats are awesome and who doesn’t love getting off? I’m just tired at night.Come to think of it, I feel hornier than usual besides being fatigued. Great combo.The thing is when I watch games with Miles, I can see he’s not as good as he normally is out there. It’s not as though he’s causing losses, but he and my brother are a critical team out there.I try to think back and determine if he’s better when we’re keeping in regular touch. When he’s home, we don’t sleep a lot at all, and I know it affects both of us. I’d say we’re happy but just always behind on sleep, though I have the luxury of being home with Lola. I can nap and believe me, I do.Miles is practicing, working out hard, and pl
“I am not pregnant, Alli. Just off. Now that you know the truth, imagine how crazy things are around here.”“I can only imagine trying to hide it from everyone, right?”“Yeah.”“So, you have time when Lola is sleeping because he is careful with her and then you lose sleep.”“Maybe that's why I’m tired. I didn’t do well in college on that schedule.”“A part of you doesn’t want to know? I’d need to clear it up to feel some peace.”“Well, it would be negative because that’s not it. I am like clockwork.”I pride myself on my discipline in life. I take vitamins at the same time every morning and pills at the same time every night. It’s a control thing with me.Wait. Did I skip them a couple of times before falling asleep on the couch with Lola? That wouldn’t cause pregnancy after being on them for so long. I added them to my morning vitamins.“Nothing is like clockwork. Have you been nauseous?”“Mildly when I make certain things, but not so much that it prevents me from cooking. I just ign
REELINGMILESIarrive home two days later and find Lola and Delilah in the living room. It’s evening and they’ve probably eaten already,but I smell something delicious in the air.“Hey.”“You’re home. Long flight?”Delilah smiles in my direction, but she doesn’t meet my eyes and I wonder what is going on here. Lola makes up for it by grinning at me as she bounds across the room into my arms.“Daddy home!”“I’m home, sweet girl. How are you?”I hug her tightly, breathing in the sweet fruity scent of her shampoo as she babbles about life. I gather there’s been a lot of playing and there’s even a snippet about my sister in there, but I’m looking at Delilah the entire time while she’s still not making eye contact with me.“Did you go out with Auntie Brynn? What did you do with her?”That means that Delilah might have needed some time alone since I know how busy my sister is with school. Brynn adores Lola but she can’t find a lot of time to spend time with her, as much as she’d like. They’
“I haven’t wanted any lately and completely forgot to make some for you. I’m sorry. Let me make some right now.”“I can make coffee, Delilah. It’s fine. I’m just surprised you aren’t taking it in an IV these days.”“Sometimes, I just don’t want it. I’ve been trying different teas lately that Alli introduced me to. I made eggs and toast for breakfast, and I can make something else for you if you’re hungry.”I make coffee and focus on the tone in Delilah’s voice. Cooking is the last thing it sounds like she wants to do, and I wonder what’s going on.“I can do that, too. In fact, I can watch Lola if you want to take a nap. You’re probably tired after last night.”I feel her eyes on me and turn around. Delilah looks surprised and I arch a brow at her, just wanting to feel comfortable.“That’s nice. Thank you. She’s fed and playing, and you know her schedule. Are you sure?”“Of course. You do so much for me around here when I’m gone. Get some rest.”“Thanks.”The kitchen is empty a moment
SPINNING OUTDELILAHI watch Miles leave the house as my ears ring, clutching the counter to keep me standing. Why did I tell him that? The plan was to sit down and just talk it out so we could have the time to sort through it.He asked me about coffee, and I almost lost my mind, running to take a nap at the first suggestion. I was tired, but I left the kitchen as fast as possible to get away from him. It was such a good sleep and something I needed, but reality came back quicker than I expected it to.I have an hour or so before Lola wakes up. In that time, I need to calm the fuck down and figure this out, so I start by taking a long drink of my cold water. I cried all night when I found out about the baby and Alli didn’t leave my side. It felt like enough tears for a lifetime, but there is plenty more to come and I wipe one away now.Andrew will want to kill the man that caused this before he finds out it’s Miles, but that might cause an explosion big enough to rock the world. My pa
I clean the toys, sorting them into a side for dolls and one for stuffed animals. She’s growing out of baby toys now, so I have gone through them and made a corner for her little laptop and other learning toys. One end of the couch is right there, so that’s where she sits when Lola doesn’t prefer the floor and I added a cute pillow and blanket to make it her own.I bought a bluetooth speaker to play her favorite songs on my phone when we play and have our dance parties some evenings and I’ve made so many playlists for Lola. I love that little girl and might lose her now. Can I love my baby that much?Will they know each other?This is awful and I wipe my face again.Lola wakes up and I fix her an easy lunch before Miles comes back to quietly take over. He doesn’t tell me to leave, but I know he’s not ready to talk yet by his demeanor. He’ll be at practice tomorrow and everything will be a little more normal with just me and Lola here.I could leave, but I curl up in bed and quietly cr
I know Miles has practice tomorrow later in the morning, so I am going to get up with Lola as I normally would. Nothing will change for that sweet little girl unless he fires me and orders me to leave his house. Miles has that right, but he knows how happy she is and his life will not get simpler with his career.He’ll make the right choice for Lola.I sit against my pillows and turn on the TV. I’ll be awake for a while and might as well kill time. Glancing at my phone, I see texts from my family, but I can’t respond. Until this is out, I’ll feel terrible lying to anyone in my family. There aren’t any from Miles and I think back to last night in his bed. That’s probably the last time we’ll ever share that kind of intimacy again, and it felt fantastic.I’m sure it had a lot to do with pregnancy hormones, but it wasn’t ever just sex with Miles. Not for me. I hate admitting that now, but I was drawn to him and once we slept together, that was it for me. I tried to be strong and failed an
NO EASY WAYMILESIt takes everything I have inside to act normally at practice. The day before, I spent time with Lola and let things sink in to the point it was painful, and I ended up down in the gym later than usual.Delilah is pregnant with my baby. I didn’t see a test, but why would she lie about that? I suspected it with Kim, but she was more than happy to show me her tests and prove the baby was mine. We were only casually dating at the time, after all.I am not even dating Delilah, just sleeping with her behind everyone’s backs. There’s no easy way to explain that, other than making our secret obvious. We messed up.I think about it all night after Lola falls asleep. There’s a part of me that wants to talk to Delilah, but I need a clear head to do that. My emotions are everywhere, and it’s partly because I have feelings for Delilah. It’s not just sex, but what else could it be? Things didn’t work with Kim after Lola came into our lives, so why would this be any different?The
EPILOGUEFOUR MONTHS LATERNew LifeDelilahI am watching my husband play in the second round of the playoffs, but unfortunately, I am not in the seats at the arena. Lola is there with his family decked out in everything, but I am curled up on the couch, nursing my son. Mom is here to keep me company and Bobby Warren Adams is settled happily on my chest as I smile down at him.It was a long birth, and he wore me out, but holding him for the first time was magical. Miles cried along with the moms and aunts, and I just stared at him in disbelief. He was a beautiful baby at nine pounds and now at two months old, he has Miles’s eyes and my dark waves from what I can tell. Bobby looks a lot like his sister, and we all love that so much.Lola is an amazing big sister and wants to help with everything, but we keep that to an age-appropriate level. Her brother differs from her baby dolls, and she’ll need to learn how to handle him. I still feel like I haven’t slept some days, but Bobby is get
MY HAPPILY EVER AFTERDELILAHI close the door to the room that used to be mine after cleaning out my things that are now in Miles’s room. His closet is massive, so there’s plenty of room, especially since I’m not a shopaholic. That goes double for the bathroom, and I realize what it’s all about being with an NHL player.Miles is in the living room with Lola as I walk in, and he grins at me.“Ready for today? You should drink some more water.”“I hate water.”I take the bottle from him and sip it, knowing I need it for the ultrasound in an hour. We decide to bring Lola and everyone else is meeting us there; I’ve already demanded lunch when we finish.“Did you find out Lola was a girl before she was born?‘I look at Miles as he glances in the rearview mirror.“We did. It was a great moment, but this will be, too. I’m with the woman I love. Lola being here is going to be so special.”“You’re sweet.”I lean back as we make the drive, rubbing my belly. There’s a bump there now, and I’ve s
“She’s sleeping on the couch.”Brynn sits down on the love seat and looks at us.“You want to be there?”Delilah looks around the room.“If you’re comfortable. It’s not that invasive, honey. Just your stomach.”Mom smiles and I shoot her a grateful look.“Yeah. Sure. I mean, we still have to tell my parents if Andrew doesn’t blab and Mom might want to go. If there’s room, I want you there.”We talk for a while about our plans, and I can tell Delilah is exhausted.“Since Lola is already asleep, just leave her here. Get this mama home for some rest.”Mom smiles at me, and I realize they know everything. As uncomfortable as it was, this feeling is worth it.I walk to the car with Delilah, and she gets into the seat, leaning back.“What a fucking day. Brynn asked about the day Lola found me in your bed and then your mom guessed I was pregnant. She was kind enough to do it at the house, so there’s that.”I chuckle and shake my head.“Do you think Andrew will come around?”I know Delilah is
“She’s my baby sister, Miles. What if it were me with Brynn?”“Delilah is twenty-four, Andrew. She’s a college graduate. This couldn’t happen with anyone better than me because I’ll give all of them the world. You’ve seen it with Lola.”“I’m going to check on her.”“Tone it down in there, Andrew. My granddaughter is in the house.”My dad speaks in a rare firm tone and Andrew and I look at him before my friend rushes inside.“She’s pregnant?”“Yeah, Dad. We were going to tell you soon, but hey. Surprise.”“Do you love her?”“I do. She’s so great with Lola and with me. I can’t imagine life without Delilah in it.”“I agree with that. You have a mess to deal with in there.”“Tell me about it. This wasn’t the plan.”We walk into the house and find a scene happening in front of us. Delilah is crying as Andrew sits close to her and my mom watches as if she’s about to interrupt at any time. Lola is nowhere in sight, and I assume Brynn has her somewhere else in the house.“This is what you wan
THE CAT IS OUT OF THE BAGMILESI glance over when I’m taking a break to see that Delilah is gone, along with my mom. Worry instantly fills me and I remind myself I’m in the middle of a game. If something were wrong, they’d let me know.I have been worried since I found out about the baby. Delilah is healthy and handles everything well, but she stays so busy with Lola. What if she’s not getting enough rest?Lola is still there, sitting with Brynn, and they’re both smiling. Soon, there will be another child and I love the idea.“Back out there, Adams. We need another goal.”I snap back to reality and take to the ice when I’m clear, going to the face-off. This game is taking a lot out of me, but I keep moving, trying to make opportunities happen for us.I keep looking over to see the two women absent from the seats. Where are they?We win by a one goal lead and I skate to the bench, feeling drained. Everyone else is celebrating around me and I sink down to the bench, gulping water.“Gre
I wish I believed that, and as he reaches over to stroke my nipple, it makes me forget everything.We’re at the next home game and sitting in the usual seats, waiting for the game to start. It’s been a few days since our talk and Miles wants to plan a family dinner. I’m nervous just thinking about it and get lost in thought as Lola goes to Brynn for some snacks.“Delilah?”I blink and come crashing back to earth, gazing at Miles’s sister.“Yeah?”“Were you sleeping in my brother’s room? Lola just told me she saw you there.”Shit. Lola caught me in there when Miles got up with her and she got through the door before he could close it. It wasn’t the first time she had seen me near his room, and I knew I was being careless.What can I say? I’m busted, aren’t I?“I’ve thought you seemed different lately. If you and Miles are seeing each other, I get it. He needs a woman that’s more like you with Lola and everything going on in his life. Just so you know, she’s talking a lot and better tha
Miles gets Lola settled at the table and I sit down beside Lola while Andrew takes the seat across from us. I share a look with Miles, and I know he thought something worse happened in the kitchen with his eyes. He’s a little much about making sure I’m safe.“This is so good, Del. You cook a lot like Mom.”Andrew takes another large bite of meat and vegetables as I watch Lola shove a diced carrot in her mouth.“I learned from the best. Gram taught her, after all.”It feels good to eat, though I make a small plate. I snack all day now and don’t want to gain too much weight, but everything sounds good.The guys talk shop over the meal, and I listen, eating slowly as I monitor Lola while she eats. I’m already thinking about the carrot cake in the fridge and sigh as I realize I am addicted to food.I am careful about my reactions to anything after that. I can cry in the house alone. Miles can see it. Maybe I’m paranoid, but it feels like everyone is watching me right now. I go to games wi
“Do you want a boy or a girl this time, Miles?”“I pictured a boy at the game when you brought Lola to the glass, but I don’t care. It will be great either way.”He looks at the pictures with a soft smile that melts my heart.“You imagined a boy.”I laugh, not believing what I’m hearing. I just wanted Miles to accept the baby and never expected him to be so involved.“Yeah. I saw you with an older version of Lola and this baby boy in your arms at the glass, smiling as you watched me interact with them. He looked like both of us and it was kind of perfect.”This might work. I don’t know how, but it might. We’re in his bed every night if he’s home, but life is normal aside from that. I take care of Lola as much as ever and seeing her as a big sister makes me smile all the time.I’m blessed when I feel better in the second trimester, but we’re still hiding it from everyone else. We’re at a point where it’s safe to make the announcement, but I feel so scared about it.Andrew comes by for
US?DELILAHUs? Does Miles want an us? I’ve had daydreams about it, but that’s all they were.“Do you want there to be an us, Miles?”“I’ve never felt this way about someone. A baby certainly shakes things up, but let’s take it day by day and see what happens. I’ll never stop supporting you and the baby, no matter what happens.”His eyes are so gorgeous and sincere, and I want to dive into them. My body propels me forward and I take a careful step in his direction.“Okay. Are you sure? I know you tried this with Kim, and it failed.”“I’ll never regret Lola, just like I won’t regret this new baby no matter what happens. I wasn’t meant to stay with Kim, and it worked out the way it was meant to. It’s tragic she died, but I can’t change it and I am going to make Lola’s life great because of it.”“We’re still keeping it between us?”I don’t want to see what will happen with Andrew yet, or the faces of my parents. They never imagined this for me.“It’s a good idea while we figure out docto