Kabanata 2

KABANATA 2

My head hurts as hell! Parang pinupukpok ang ulo ko sa sobrang sakit, maybe because I drunk too much last night? Hindi ko na rin alam. Basta ang alam ko, sobrang sakit ng ulo ko.

Unti-unti kong iminulat ang mata ko, damang-dama ko pa rin ang pagpintig ng ulo ko. Dumiretso ang mata ko sa bintana, the sky outside was barely turning gray. Agad naman akong tumingin sa paligid at doon ko lang napansin na wala ako sa kwarto ko.

Hindi ito ang kwarto ko sa bahay at lalong hindi ito ang condo ko. Nanlaki ang mata ko ng matagpuan ang sarili kong hubad at mas nanlaki ang mata ko ng mapansin ko ang hindi kilalang lalaki na nakahiga sa tabi ko.

Naramdaman ko ang lalong pagkirot ng ulo ko habang pilit inaalala ang mga nangyari kagabi. The memories flooded back–from my ruined wedding because of betrayal to how I desperately threw myself to a stranger just to forget the pain temporarily.

Parang nagkabuhol-buhol ang sistema ko sa kahihiyan. Muli kong nilingon ang lalaki sa tabi ko, he was sleeping heavily. Saglit ko pang pinasadahan ng tingin ang mukha niya bago ko tuluyang mapagdesisyonan na kumilos at tumayo.

I sat quietly, avoiding to wake him up. I just winced when I suddenly felt a sharp pain between my legs and body aching from last night.

Bumungad sa ‘kin ang mga damit namin na nakakalat sa sahig. Pinulot ko ang dress at undergarments ko at dali-daling nagbihis. I saw my clutch bag scattered on the floor with the clothes. I picked it up and its contents were also scattered on the floor when my finger brushed against a thick wad of money inside–I brought this just in case there’s an emergencies during the wedding.

I fold a few bills and place it carefully on the side table. I looked back at the man sleeping quietly in the messy bed and glanced at his face again.

‘I hope this money is enough for the trouble I caused you last night.’

Tuluyan ko na itong tinalikuran at lumabas na sa kwartong iyon. Leaving behind the broken pieces of my life that I can no longer recognize.

~~

I didn’t know where I was going. I just knew I had to keep moving.

I found myself wandering in the middle of an empty alleys. Passing through hadn’t yet opened shops. Lutang na lutang pa rin ang isip ko, hindi ko pa rin maproseso ang mga nangyari. I want to cry to ease the pain but there’s no more tears coming out from my fucking eye.

Hindi ko na namalayan kung saan ako dinala ng mga paa ko. I just found myself kneeling from exhaustion on the edge of a river. Inilapag ko ang sapatos na hawak ko at naupo. Pinagmasdan ko ang tahimik na paligid habang papasikat pa lamang ang araw.

Nabasag ang katahimikan ng biglang tumunog ang phone ko. I took it out of my clutch bag and checked my notification. It was an email from my dad’s assistant. I took a deep breath before opening the email and it felt like my world collapsed after reading the message and the file attached to the email.

From: [e-mail]

To: [e-mail]

Subject: Notice of Termination and Transfer of Company Shares

Dear Amara Syd,

This letter formally notifies you for your immediate removal from your position as the Chief Executive Officer of Sydélle Couture.

The Board of Directors, under the leadership of your father, Maxim Alistair Syd, unanimously decided to terminate you, effective immediately, in accordance with the emergency meeting that was held on the 21st of February. Your recent actions, which have significantly damaged the company's integrity and reputation, have caused the Board to express considerable concern.

In light of the above, the following actions have been taken:

· Your executive privileges and access to company resources have been revoked.

· Your shares in Sydélle Couture have been officially and legally transferred to Isabella Vale, in accordance with Clause 8.3 of the Company Shareholders’ Agreement.

The details of the completed transfer and the legal actions are in the documents that are attached. These are irreversible and final actions.

Our legal department should be contacted for any future correspondence pertaining to the subject. The Board has decided to close this case and will not be considering any more debates.

We apologize that the situation has resulted in this.

Sincerely,

Corporate Affairs Division

Sydélle Couture

Attachment:

Final Board Resolution (P*F)

Legal Documentation of Share Transfer (P*F)

My throat tightened.

I tried to breathe, but the weight on my chest pressed harder, crueler. They didn’t just remove me—they replaced me. Isabella’s name was listed as the “interim” CEO.

‘She took my fiancé. And now my company.’

And my father handed it all to her like I was nothing.

Nabitawan ko ang phone ko at nalaglag ito sa damuhan sa tabi ko.

‘I don’t have anyone to run anymore.’

Bumagsak ang tingin ko sa kalmado at tahimik na ilog na nasa harapan ko, it feels like it was staring back at me. Too calm. Too mocking. This was the kind of silence that I’ve been begging for.

Wala sa sariling tumayo ako at dahan-dahang inihakbang ang yapak ko mga paa patungo sa ilog. My feet touched the edge.

‘Isa nalang, Amara. Isang hakbang nalang, malaya ka na sa lahat.’

I closed my eyes. Huminga ako ng malalim. And without having any second thought.

I jumped.

Mabilis na yumakap sa akin ang lamig. Parang libo-libong karayom ang tumutusok sa balat ko. Nakita ko pa ang repleksyon ng araw na tumatagos sa tubig pero mas pinili kong ipikit muli ang mga mata ko. I let my self drown kasabay ng pagkalunod ko sa lungkot.

Ngunit bago pa man ako tuluyang lumubog sa dilim–may malakas na pwersa akong naramdaman na humigit sa akin.

Nakaramdam ako ng init. Init ng mga bisig na yumakap sa ‘kin. Sa halip na kumawala, nakaramdam ako ng gaan ng loob. Hindi ko na namalayan pa ang mga sumunod na nangyari. The last thing I remember is I heard a voice bago tuluyang nagdilim ang paningin ko. Malalim, galit, ngunit mababakas ang takot.

“Damn it! Don’t you dare die!”