Kabanata 3

KABANATA 3

Marahas kong nahigit ang hininga ko kasabay ng biglaang pagmulat ng mga mata ko. I coughed—violently. Water came out of my lungs as I gasped and choked.

“What the hell were you thinking?!” marahas na boses ang nagpabalik sa akin sa reyalidad. Nilingon ko kung kanino nagmula ang boses na narinig ko at gano’n nalang ang panlalaki ng mata ko.

It was him! The man I had a one night stand with!

Paano niya ako nasundan? Paano niya ako nahanap? Paano niya ako nakita?

Napawi lahat ng iniisip at hiyang nararamdaman ko ng muling umalingawngaw ang boses niya.

“Do you think that river was going to save you?! You think disappearing would erase everything?!” bulalas niya. Basang-basa ang suot niya ngunit wala doon ng atensyon niya.

“You’re insane!” sigaw niyang muli habang matalim ang mga matang nakatingin sa ‘kin.

Hindi ako nakasagot. I just broke down and cried. The sobs that I’ve been holding in came out like a flood–matindi pa sa tubig na muntik nang kumuha sa buhay ko.

And then–I just froze for a moment.

He pulled me into his arms.

Kapwa kami basang-basa ngunit ramdam ko ang init ng katawan niya. Mahigpit. Komportable. Ramdam kong payapa ako sa mga yakap niya. Tuluyan na akong bumigay.

“You don’t get to give up,” he whispered in my ears sa pagitan ng aming yakapan.

“I won’t let you. Not when I’m here.”

 ~~

 

I am soaking wet at kasalukuyan akong nakaupo sa kotse niya. Ramdam ko ang pagdampi ng lamig sa balat ko kahit na nakabalot na sa ‘kin ang makapal na coat na ipinahiram niya kanina.

Tahimik lang siya habang nagmamaneho at wala ni isa sa ‘min ang gustong bumasag sa namumutawing katahimikan. Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko at pakiramdam ko ay wala na ring boses ang lalabas pa sa bibig ko.

The car stopped in an underground parking lot. Mula paglabas ng sasakyan ay wala akong ginawa kundi sumunod lamang sa kaniya hanggang sa makarating kami sa isang marangyang penthouse.

High ceiling, spacious, and peaceful.

Napatigil sa paglilibot ang mga mata ko nang abutan niya ako ng towel.

“Go take a shower and change your clothes first, you’re freezing to death,” inabot niya sa akin ang dala niyang towel at saglit pang natigilan.

“You don’t mind using my clothes for a while, do you?” pagkumpirma niya na sinagot ko lamang ng iling na may tipid na ngiti. Dumiretso na ako sa itinuro niyang direksyon kung nasaan ang banyo.

Pagpasok ko ay bumungad sa akin ang isang malaking bathroom vanity sink kung saan nakapatong ang mga gagamitin ko. Mataman kong tinitigan ang sarili ko sa malaking salamin na kaharap ko ngayon. It seems like just yesterday when I last looked in the mirror and I looked like a princess from a fairytale.

Malayong-malayo sa itsura ko ngayon. Maputla, basang-basa, magulo ang buhok, nanginginig, at mapupula ang mga mata. I appeared to look that I had nothing left to live for. Perhaps that’s exactly who I was.

Habang umaagos ang mainit na tubig sa katawan ko ay hindi ko na rin napigilan pa ang sunod-sunod na pagpatak ng mainit na likido mula sa mata ko. Tahimik lamang ang pag-iyak ko kasabay ng putol-putol na paghikbi.

Nang matapos ako ay isinuot ko na ang nakahandang loose white shirt at cotton shorts at lumabas na. I caught up with him sitting in the dining room. Mukhang kakatapos lang din niya maligo and there are two cups of coffee already served on the table.

When he felt my presence, he looked at me and motioned for me to sit in front of him. Nakuha ko naman ang ibig niyang sabihin kaya tahimik akong umupo kaharap niya. Saglit akong sumimsim sa mainit na kapeng nasa harapan ko, nagbabakasakaling mabawasan noon ang lamig na nanunuot sa balat ko, nang maalala ko ang pinaka unang tanong na pumasok sa isip ko kanina.

 “How.. How did you find me?” I finally asked. Sandali siyang tumahimik at tumingin sa ‘kin bago sumagot.

“I asked my men to look for you,” walang emosyon nitong tugon.

“You left money on the bedside table as if I were just a man you hired for one night.” he said bluntly.

Napayuko na lang ako sa hiyang nararamdaman. Of course he was offended by what I did! What am I thinking?!

“That was not my intention, it's just that..” I paused for a moment, and took a deep breath before continuing.

“I just didn’t know how I was going to face you after what happened. And I thought, giving you money for the trouble I caused is enough,” mas napayuko ako at ramdam ko na ang pag-init ng mukha ko sa kahihiyan. Ipinatong niya ang dalawang siko sa lamesa ‘tsaka pinagdikit ang mga kamay niya at mataman akong tiningnan.

“Well, being treated like an item bothers me,” walang emosyon niyang saad.

“So, I had my men to look after you and with my connections, it didn’t take long.” he said it in a calm voice but full of power.

Nanlaki na lamang ang mata ko sa mga narinig at nalaman ko.

“Y-you–What?!”

“You thought you could hide from me after that night?” tumikhim siya bago magpatuloy.

“I don’t allow people leaving my life without giving me a hint or answer, Miss Syd.” tugon niya pa na mas ipinanlaki ng mga mata ko.

“H-how did you–?” hindi na niya ako pinatapos pa.

“I’ve already told you. Connections. Now give me the answers I want.”

Bumagsak ang tingin ko sa kapeng halos hindi ko pa nababawasan. Unti-unting bumabalik sa memorya ko kung paano ako nauwi sa naabutan niyang sitwasyon kanina lang.

“I wasn’t trying to hide from you,” I murmured. “I was trying to escape.”

He stared at me for a long second before his voice dropped, quieter this time.

“Escape what?”

My throat tightened. Iniangat ko sa kaniya ang paningin ko habang may mga luha nang nagbabadyang pumatak mula sa mga mata ko.

“Everything.”

Agad akong yumuko. I blinked, then again, and again. Fighting the sting in my eyes.

“My own father abandoned me. My company got taken away from me. I was thrown away like I was never mattered.” nagsimula nang gumaralgal ang boses ko sa kabila ng pagpipigil na pumatak ang luha ko.

“And you think that jumping and throwing yourself into that river will fix everything?” I was stunned by his words. He said it right in front of my face too casually but with the hint of disappointment.

“I’ve seen a lot of broken people before, just different stories. They either fight or surrender,” huminto siya sandali ‘tsaka umiling.

“You choose the coward’s way.”

“So you think duwag ako?” my face tightened.

“Nope.” His voice slightly softened.

“I think you forgot who you were. And that was worse.”

His words silenced me. A sudden realization hit me. He paused for a moment, letting his words sink in before he finally spoke again.

“Do you want to get your life back?”

Napatingin ako sa kaniya. I didn’t say anything but my eyes says it all.

“Do you want your company, your reputation, and your dignity back?” he was dead serious while saying this.

“Of course,” I whispered.

“But I–” he doesn’t let me finish. His words cut me off.

“Then marry me.”