Consequences

"Nesta?!" a loud voice howls my name and I hear it echoing off of the walls in the house.

I shot up from my bed and took a long pensive look outside. The sun was setting and I was supposed to be getting ready for tonight's sermon. 

"Where are you, brat?!" My father's voice nears my room and by the time he gets to the door, I am standing up, my back straight, my hands gripping the book behind my back. The door opens with a swing and the gray haired man stands in the doorframe, eyeing me with that hateful look in his eyes I knew he gave my mother quite often. "Why are you not dressed?" he asked, scanning my dress. 

"I was praying and dozing off, father-" my voice is small and it comes out like a whisper, as I avert my eyes from him, dropping them on the floor. 

"Tsk!" he huffed and crossed his arms on his chest. "Praying to what? To whom?" 

"Ferdinand-" I hear my mother's voice, begging for him to not go on with whatever he had planned for me right now. 

My heart skips a beat and I know that if he was not going to take out his anger on me, he would do it on my mother, and I had no power to stop him from doing that. Ferdinand called himself a man of God. A man with morals and virtues none other had. But these were only his big words for himself, when in truth, he was just a regular man.

One that loved ale, one that forgot to pray quite often, one that loved to abuse women and animals. His leather belt was familiar to my skin already. And I am sure my mother knew a different kind of abuse too. The muffled screaming in the night did not always seem to be of pleasure, nor the limping the next day. 

But truly, this was not something uncommon. Women were supposed to be just an appendage, so men never lifted a finger. They only lifted their fists when something inconvenienced them. 

With a scowl, the man looks away and starts walking away, towards their bedroom, muttering curses under his breath as he gets away. 

I feel my soul leaving my body as I fall back on the bed with a sigh of relief. The evening breeze picks up and slams the door closed, making me alert once more. Slamming doors was not allowed in this house and for a brief moment I thought my father was going to turn around and come for me with his belt in hand. But I hear nothing and I allow myself to relax a bit more, leaning back into the pile of pillows I had made, pulling the book in front of me again.

It was a herbology study book I had snatched from the small collection of books that we found in the attic when we moved here. From all the books there, this was the only one I managed to save before the whole collection ended up being fire fuel, among with other trinkets we had found. 

Ever since we moved here, there had not been a silent night. My parents would always be fighting, would always be arguing like two idiots. My older brother had gone off to war the day after we moved and truly... I know everyone was miserable. And I could not help but wonder if this house was not as holy as my father pretended to be. 

My finger traced the spine of the book slowly. I wonder what other soul had enjoyed such books before? what other person took interest in healing rather than abusing?

"Nesta!" My mother's voice echoed through the house and I knew I had to hurry. I hide the book under the mattress of my bed and hurry to change my clothes before hurrying out of my room.

***

Tonight's sermon was rather dull. Just like they all were since Father Cassimir has taken residence here. You could hear the old gentlemen snore lightly in the background, while the man spoke about the power and anger and wrath of God. I'd snore too, but there was not way in hell sleeping during the sermon would help my cause in any way. I could see the way Father Cassimir would look at me every once in a while, his nasty green eyes scanning me and undressing me while he was preaching about God. 

It made me sick. It made me feel dirty and violated. I could understand my parents point of view. I had turned twenty this summer, and no girl my age should walk unmarried. But why Father Cassimir? why not anyone else?! 

***

"Lovely sermon, father-" My father shakes the priest's hand and offers him a gentle pat on the back, while Cassimir bows his head politely. These two seemed like brothers. They were close in age and I felt myself grow even more repulsed at the thought I had to marry the one in black robes that always smelled of frankincense and smoke. 

The announcement of our betrothal had been made public tonight, right after the sermon and people that were walking by, would congratulate us in a gentle voice, bowing their heads and kissing Father Cassimir's hand as if he was a saint sacrificing himself by marrying me. Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. 

After not so many more minutes, my parents start walking away, leaving the two away, saying something of offering us privacy. I stand by, my eyes pinned on the wooden floor, my hands behind my back, avoiding the man's eyes as he closed the distance between us. His hand brushes over my arm and I feel my skin prickle. 

"What's weighing so heavy on your soul, child?" Father Cassimir speaks and I feel a sense of danger rushing over my body, as he sets a hand on my upper back, forcing me to walk with him back inside the now empty church. "You can confide in me, afterall, we're to be married by next year-" I feel my heart skip a beat and i feel cornered. 

I stop abruptly and the man stops with me, his hand grabbing my arm and pulling me close. 

"Did not think someone like you would be this shy-" he traces my face with the back of his fingers and I slap his hand away from my face, shaking lightly. 

"Someone like me?!" I hiss between my teeth and it seems that my rage only fuels something within the man as he smirks at me, showing off his disgustingly yellow teeth.

Up close, Father Cassimir is even more disgusting. Maybe if he took better care of himself... no! It was a matter of the heart! his heart was tainted and no amount of water and soap would wash that away!

"You little scramp!" the man hisses and grabs both my arms, forcing me to step backwards, my back hitting the wooden altar. "You think you can go around and command me like this?! Tsk! Your kind should be burnt on a stake, not wed in a church to a holy man like me!" his fingers sink into my flesh, painfully. "You should be thankful that someone accepts you as you are, tainted and full of another's seed! Maybe a good beating will solve that-" his hand raises and he's ready to strike me, but I don't cower.

His words fuel me with anger and a sense of justice I did not know I owned, So I pushed him off of me with all my power.

"Don't you dare lay your hand on me!" I bark at him, my whole body shaking in both fear and courage.

He stumbles backwards and this seems to only anger him more. his eyes narrow on me and the way he bares his teeth at me, makes me feel like I'm being preyed upon.

Shit...