Se connecterHe’s here.
From my bedroom, I hear the car pull into the driveway. Couldn’t he have waited until after I’d left for work? I think about disappearing through the back door and sneaking into the garage to get my bike but ultimately decide to get it over with. Pulling off my durag, I make my way downstairs. The sound of hushed voices spill from the living room, where he’s asking Aunt Maggie where I am and if i plan on coming downstairs. She tells him that I’m upstairs and then there are footsteps headed toward the stairs. “Xavier,” she says, stopping him. “Be nice to him,” “He’s my kid, Margaret,” “Yeah? Who raised him?” A smile stretches across my face. Aunt Maggie rarely stands up to him. He doesn’t answer her, of course. To do that, he’d have to admit to all the ways he screwed up as a father. And he wouldn’t do that. I make my way into the kitchen at the same time he does. Our eyes meet and his eyebrows raise, likely because of how different I look since the last time he saw me. That was two years ago and I was two feet shorter with a whole lot less muscle. “Lucas,” he says, his only form of greeting. “Xavier,” I respond, taking his lead. He chuckles. “Still a hard ass, I see,” “Learned from the best,” He nods, a smirk pulling at his lips, as though I complimented him. “How are you?” “Peachy,” I say. “How about you? How’s your wife?” He cocks his head. “You mean your stepmother?” “I mean your wife,” His smile drops for a split second. “She’s good. I actually wanted to talk to you about something,” “I’m listening,” He stays by the entryway, but shifts in place, like he might be nervous. He clears his throat. “Julie’s pregnant,” he says with the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on him. “Oh.” He grins at me. “I’m going to be a dad,” A laugh slips out of me. He’s going to be a dad. As though the child his wife is carrying is the first child he’d have fathered. The look on his face and the conviction in his tone pisses me off. What the fuck am I then? I guess being absent for a decade out of the eighteen years of my life means he was never a dad. A large part of me wants to punch him, but something holds me back. Perhaps the fact that I’ve always known that he doesn’t give a shit about me. Perhaps the fact that Aunt Maggie is standing two feet behind him. Perhaps the fact that I don’t want him to be right about me. “That’s great, Xavier,” I say to him. “Congratulations,” He didn’t expect my reaction. “Of course, Julie wants you to be a part of the baby’s life. She wants you to move in with us,” he tells me, the smile still on his face. Julie wants that. Not him. I shake my head. “No, thank you,” “Lucas,” “No,” “Will you at least think about it?” “I’m not living with you, Xavier,” “You can’t live here forever,” he says, his voice raising with frustration. “That’s okay. I’m moving out this year,” His head whips to his sister. “What?” he shouts, “You’re letting him move out?” She rolls her eyes. “I’m not letting him do anything. Luke’s an adult,” He turns back to me. “And how will you pay for a place on your own?” “Don’t worry about it,” I say, making my way to the door. “Aunt Maggie. Keys, please,” “We’ll leave together,” she says. “That’s okay. I’ll open up and get everything sorted before you and the others come in,” She studies my face for a moment before giving up. “On the hook by the door,” “Thanks. See you in a few,”I think this headache might be the death of me. Because the only medication is in the kitchen, I make my way down, trying my hardest not to wake up any family members who are still asleep. Though, that is a wasted effort, because it's sunday and everyone has already woken up and gotten to work on lunch preparations. Luckily for me, though, they’re all outside. I grab a Tylenol from the cabinet in the kitchen and then fill a glass with water. Laughter behind me scares the crap out of me and I nearly drop the glass. When I turn around, I find Drew sitting at the dining table, having breakfast. “You’re up late,” he says to me, clearly amused. “I know. Shush,” “How was your night?” “Good,” I tell him. If I’m honest, I have no idea what yesterday was. Thinking about it is giving me whiplash. I vaguely remember flirting with Luca, which…what the hell, Kieran? After I had food, though, I calmed down enough that I stopped asking suggestive questions and making stupid comments abou
I think this headache might be the death of me. Because the only medication is in the kitchen, I make my way down, trying my hardest not to wake up any family members who are still asleep. Though, that is a wasted effort, because it's sunday and everyone has already woken up and gotten to work on lunch preparations. Luckily for me, though, they’re all outside.I grab a Tylenol from the cabinet in the kitchen and then fill a glass with water. Laughter behind me scares the crap out of me and I nearly drop the glass. When I turn around, I find Drew sitting at the dining table, having breakfast.“You’re up late,” he says to me, clearly amused. “I know. Shush,”“How was your night?”“Good,” I tell him. If I’m honest, I have no idea what yesterday was. Thinking about it is giving me whiplash. I vaguely remember flirting with Luca, which…what the hell, Kieran? After I had food, though, I calmed down enough that I stopped asking suggestive questions and making stupid comments about him ta
Wide eyes and a flushed face. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that look on Kieran’s face. She looked equal parts surprised and intrigued, which just boosted my ego. If that look is any indication, she might start seeing me the way I’ve always seen her. I push the thought out of my head as I get a t-shirt from my cupboard. I wonder what she’s doing here. Don’t get me wrong, I love that she’s here and that she seems to want to hang out with me, but she doesn’t seem to be in a very good mood. “Luca?” she says from my desk, her voice quiet. I take a seat on my beed. “Yeah?” “I’m going to ask you a question and I need you to be honest with me,” “Okay,” She turns around then, facing me. “If I hadn’t figured out that Devon is cheating on Alexia, would you have told me?” “I don’t know,” She nods, clearly not satisfied with my answer. “Listen, I’m not okay with what Devon did. I don’t condone cheating,” I continue. “Alexia should break up with him, in my opinion, but no matter how
I wake up on Saturday morning with newfound optimism. I’m not quite sure where it came from, but I decide to embrace it for the sake of my sanity. Since the summer started and I moved here, every day has been the same, the days starting to blend into each other. Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and I appreciate their love and support. I enjoy spending time with them, especially Drew. However, it would be nice if the friends I used to have would respond to the messages I’ve sent them. I’m not mad about it. I wouldn’t know what to say or how to act around me if I were them. Even so, I wouldn’t avoid a friend I’ve had for years for no reason. It’s okay, though, because I still have Lex. And Luca. Something happens to my stomach the second the image of Luca passes through my mind. That’s new. Not necessarily the feeling, but the person it is directed at. Luca and I are barely friends again and now my body is reacting to the mere thought of him? No. I get for the day, pushing all t
One especially infuriating thing about Kieran Darjee is that she thinks she knows every fucking thing. She thinks she knows exactly how I feel and what I think. If she’d bother to ask every once in a while, she’d know just how wrong she is.Disregarding however I might feel about her, why would I not want her to be at the celebration? She’s been my best friend since we were kids and we’ve always gone to the celebration together, so why would that change now? We’ve let bygones be bygones and are choosing to ignore the fact that we were estranged for two years, so ideally, nothing has changed between us. Or am I expecting too much?I shake my head. “It’s none of my business,”“What isn’t?”I release a sigh and shake my head again. If I tell her what I know, she’s going to tell her best friend about it, who is then going to break up with Devon, as she should. Devon will be pissed at me for airing out his business, though. And while I don’t agree with what he’s doing, I don’t think I coul
I need this week to end.I feel like I’m suffocating, like someone is pressing their heavy as fuck shoe on my chest, keeping me from being able to take a proper breath.Anxiety crawls up my neck every fucking day and the only thing that’ll make it better right now is a drink. And the only place I can get shit faced without being scolded or berated for it is at Devon’s.After work on Thursday, I text him to find out of he’s home. He doesn’t text back, which either means that he isn’t home or that he’s already drunk in his backyard. I make my way over and hope that he’s not too drunk. I don’t want to have to drink alone.At Devon’s, I park my bike in the driveway and venture into the backyard with my helmet in hand. I hear the commotion before I make it past the driveway.There are at least twenty people in the backyard, littered around the swimming pool, crowded around the bonfire pit. I scan the crowd for Devon, who is standing in a corner making love eyes at a girl who is most defini







