What do you fear the most? Matthew's only fear is coming out as gay to his family, who are devoutly religious and consider homosexuality a sin. But when he heard from his doctor that he had less than three months left to live. Matthew decided that living his truth was more important than his fears. He planned on telling his family his sexuality, and also, confessing his feelings to his longtime crush, the son of a Deacon, Keith who was every lady's dream in college. But what if Keith is just like everyone else? Would Matt's last wish come true before the end of his days on Earth? And what happens when all that glitters does seem to be gold?
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This book is a work of fiction, any resemblance to real-life incidents is purely a work of fiction. And no religion is intended to be disrespected! Enjoy as you read. "Amen!" My parents responded to the priest's prayer, and I shifted my gaze back at my two sisters, who were talking to some church members. I was standing alone on the terrace under the sun while my family was busy talking to some friends and a priest, and I? I don't have friends. I'm an introverted introvert who hates talking to people whether online or physically. I enjoy being on my own with my cat and laptop, watching movies, and playing games. You don't wanna know what movie I enjoy watching. "Call your sisters, it's time to go home." My mother instructed me to walk with my dad to our car. I huffed, walking to my sisters, who were laughing and talking to their friends as if they couldn't live without them. As I got closer, I avoided eye contact with my elder sister's friend, who was crushing on me. "We're going home," I whispered to Ruth's ear. "Hi, Matt," Naomi called and I smiled a little in response to her greeting. "Get your butt to the car. We're leaving." I said to my younger sister before walking away, and I could hear the ladies teasing Ruth's friend Naomi, who seemed to still blush at how I smiled at her. I walked to my dad's car, which was parked at the front of the church, and slid in, adjusting to the left side so Ruth and Leah could sit. "Where are your sisters?" My father asked. "They are coming," I replied looking out of the car window. My sister's arrived and entered the car, still talking as though if they didn't do that, they'd be dying. I find their conversations irritating because it's always about people, crushes, and clothes! Why can't they talk about animals, places, books and movies? "Is that what you were taught in the church today ladies?" My dad seemed to have heard how they giggled at the mention of the clothes they wished to buy. "We aren't talking about something bad Dad," Leah replied. "It's just clothes, and it's not as if it's bad clothes. We're planning on buying it for our upcoming church anniversary." Ruth chimed in. "I asked if that you were taught in church." My dad repeated, glancing at them from the rear-view mirror, still driving, and they shook their heads. "Henceforth, you won't be talking about material things, and start discussing about the Bible. How many times would I tell you that?" He nagged and I laughed inwardly. That would make it one decade of a time that I've heard my dad say that to my sisters, and they'd go back to saying Bible and religious kinds of stuff then the next day, they are back to talking about their usual discussions. "You should be grateful I haven't made one of you to be a nun." My dad added his usual phrase. "If Mum's parents had made her a nun, you wouldn't have married her," I muttered. "And that's why I haven't made them be one yet, but that shouldn't make them unholy." My dad preached. "You should be lucky. That's their flaw," I mumbled, closing my eyes and wondering how come my dad, who is a typical businessman, has always been this righteous. His rules are strict! Live by the Bible, don't break any commandments, and ' I trust you all don't know about LGBT, which always makes me feel guilty. We finally arrived at our house and I was the first to alight from the car. I walked to the gate and unlocked it, opening it wide enough for my dad to drive in. As soon as he drove in, I closed the gate and padlocked it because every Sabbath day, we aren't allowed to go outside but stay indoors, which I always enjoyed anyway, except for my sisters, especially Ruth, the blonde girl who doesn't take after the rest of us brown hair. She is always the one who breaks Dad's rule and would tiptoe to go have a date with her boyfriend, Theodore who I once had a crush on. I walked with my family inside our sitting room, shutting the door behind me. As we stepped in the middle of the room, we held our hands, forming a circle, and my dad led the thanksgiving prayer. When he finished praying, Ruth and Leah walked to the kitchen to fetch us some chilled water while I took off my suit which I always find uncomfortable. If I ever mentioned it to my dad, he would scold me and might even ask me to wear a suit to school throughout the weekday. The long trousers I was wearing were making me feel like it was my first time wearing the trousers, probably because my dad made our tailor alter and I couldn't wait to get it off my tiny legs. I walked with my suit in my hand and collected a glass of water from Leah which I gulped down to my heart's satisfaction before continuing my walk to my bedroom. I walked down the hallway before entering my bedroom, and Jennabeth, my Himalayan cat, ran to me. I smiled at her, squatting to her height and I ran my fingers on her furs. "How are you, Jenna?" I asked staring at her grey eyes while her tail wagged in response. I walked to a side of my bed, checking if she ate her food and drank enough water and I was pleased to see that she must have finished her food. I unbuttoned my shirt, put off the trousers that looked baggy on me,, and walked to the bathroom while Jenna licked some of the water in her bowl. I stripped off, turning on the shower which ran down my brown hair and white body. I was still showering when I started feeling pain in my chest. I groaned, clenching my fist on my chest as if it would suppress the chest ache, but the pain remained, my body was frozen with terror, and I could hear my heartbeat in my ears, my breath coming in a short, shallow gasp, and the pain was starting to overwhelm me. "Ah!" I shouted gritting my teeth as I began wondering if this was the end of me. I had always known my heart disease could be serious, but now it felt like the threat was imminent."Keith, you possibly can't agree with what he is saying. Mr. Jones already gave his permission and that is final." Winifred tried to convince me, but my eyes were still fixed on Matthew whose eyes were looking at me as if wanting me to take his side.Winifred was right, Mr. Jones already gave his permission and I can't possibly ignore that. Besides, Wini might just feel left out if I agree to kick her out of our group.Matthew's hazel eyes narrowed, his straight-line lips compressing into a disapproving line as he furrowed his brow at me. "Matt," I called, his eyes flashing with a hint of vulnerability before he masked it with a neutral expression."I wouldn't say Wini is right but it's what Mr. Jones already approved. We can put up with her just for some time." I said trying not to sound as if I was on Wini's side since he might just start to think of me as the bad guy I've always been to him."By the way, she would only be in a group with us in the school and not after," I said. "Th
The classroom felt calm, a quiet spot I didn't know existed in the school. I had always looked for a peaceful place like this at school but never found it. Being with Keith always leaves me with special memories, and the thought of us being alone here gave me butterflies. I was excited like we were going on a secret date. But then my excitement ended when I saw Keith walking towards the classroom with Winifred.I could see them from the window, Keith was carrying a tray of cheeseburgers while Winifred was holding cans of coke.What is she doing here? I asked myself biting my inner cheek as I suddenly felt unsettled and her threat soon came attacking my inner self.She had stylishly threatened me to stay away from Keith or she wouldn't mind revealing my identity to him and the whole school was going to know about it.It was a Christian school and I'm sure I'm going to get expelled, and the rest of my days might just be me regretting my sexuality until I die."Hey." I heard Keith say as
I tightened my hand into a fist, trying to mask the envy that was written all over my expression.I can't believe I just confessed I don't like seeing him with Billy. It was the truth but no! Fuck, I better get my head in order."I... How about we, I mean, you follow me home so we can plan about the project." I say almost wondering why his look suddenly changed to a bit of sadness. He had looked comfortable with me a few minutes ago."No..." Matthew pronounced but then he seemed to have a rethink, this time his sad look already disappeared from his face. I bet we are both good at hiding our own emotions. "No problem." He stood up about leaving but I stopped him holding his wrist again.It feels as if my body is the one moving on its own. Matthew raised a questioning look at me and I quickly let go of his hand. "Will... Do you mind having lunch with me?" I asked out of nowhere.I think he's the type of person my mom used to describe when we were kids - the kind of friend you feel so co
This wasn't how I had planned my day but as expected, an event for each day has been recorded down even before it happens.I felt the warm grab on my arm and just like a fool I was following him out of the classroom but I stopped when Billy pulled me by the arm."Let's go---" Keith stopped his words and I saw his death glares at Billy. "Get your hands off him," Keith commanded, I'd never heard him talk so coldly with no trace of emotions, his plain straight face seemed to speak more goodness of his beauty, and his grey eyes that were busy glaring at Billy didn't allow me to stop staring at him, but I was snapped back to life when I heard Billy talk."You should be concerned about yourself Keith," Billy says and I begin nibbling on my lips, my head bowed, the attention right now suits them but not me who's in the center of them both. "You are acting sus, might think there isn't a difference between you and me." He added in and I did understand what he was saying.I felt Keith's grasp o
It was another bright day in school, and I had planned on confronting Matthew for ignoring me.I had sent him a text message yesterday, and even though he must have seen it, still he had decided to ignore him and I hadn't even wondered why anyone would. I mean, everyone had always been happy whenever I texted them. It wouldn't be over a minute before I got a reply back, but Matt was such a different person.My first text message to him must have stained my ego because I had had sleepless nights questioning myself if he was just busy or was purposely ignoring me.I had stayed up for more than an hour but his replies weren't even coming.He was online, I saw that!I walked into the class, of course, I came late as the exam was about to start.I glanced at Matthew as I went to have my seat but in all glorious name, he was ignoring me just like he did yesterday. I am not the one who is crushing on him so why would he feel mad at me? He should be mad at whom he thought was a best friend, b
I remained seated on my bed, my back resting on the headboard as I stared at the laptop on my lap. I was in the Google section and I had no idea what to type although I did know what to type I just don't know if I should or if I'm just been weird.With a gentle plaintive meow, Jennabeth caught my attention. I glanced at her and our eyes met. She must have been staring at me ever since I entered Google, wondering what was wrong with me. I had been sitting and staring at the blank search section for over ten minutes."I'm not being weird am I?" I say slightly patting her head, her facial expression did say I was being weird but I didn't want to admit that as a yes. "It was hectic today," I started, I might just tell her how my day went and what was troubling me. She was the only one who knew I was gay anyway and it had been quite an eventful day when I told her. Surprisingly, she had come close to me and I had realized she wanted me to hug her, it had soothed my depressed self back then
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