로그인I'm 29 years old, nearly 30 and so far, my sister and Photography have been my life and soul. Ever since I stepped foot in my first darkroom during my Sophomore year I always had a hunch that this would be my true passion. Since I held my first camera. Set up my first tripod, captured my first photo and filmed my first piece. I just knew that this is what I wanted to do. My life has been a complicated mess since I was 10 years old. My life was thrown away by my parents because I was a burden to them, I had a pen pal who I vented my anger out on for years yet he had become a huge part of my life. I haven't had a serious relationship in...well...ever and It's not every day that you find a man wanting to talk to you...granted, this man is the one who spilt his coffee down me the first time we met and from then on he became the Baine of my existence. I live in Texas City, Houston and I love what I do, the freedom it gives me being behind a camera but it also comes with a price when you least expect it. My life was complicated enough but when I vent out on a secret to this man, my feelings towards him become stir crazy and a whirlwind of emotions. One's I didn't want in the first place because 2 weeks before meeting said man...I was applying for a year long fellow ship abroad. A once in a lifetime opportunity to go to one of Spain's most explored and cultured cities - Barcelona.
더 보기Dear, to whoever see's this.
My life is a shit show. I am 29, years old nearly 30, and I have never had a decent person besides my sister in my corner and to top it all of I have a condition which allows me to remember every shit thing that has ever happened in my life, if I'm going to put it in a nutshell. Starting with 19, nearly 20 years ago when my parents decided it was time to up and leave and not with me or my older sister. So here is my life, here is the one thing you'll probably get a giggle out off because I sure as hell I. I laugh at my own boring life. Did you know...I have never left Houston, Texas...Nope...never. So my friends...kick back, get your pop corn at the ready, maybe a coffee if you aren't human but need to survive somehow and wait for all the dramatics of the last 19 years followed by the present tense of my life.
All my love...
Maisie.
19 Years ago
"Okay, everybody. We have been assigned to our school for the pen pal assignment of the 5th-grade students. Come and pick out your pen pal's name from the hat."
That's Mrs. Jenkins. She's our teacher for this year and most probably next year too. She's okay; I listen to everything she says, but she talks too much. I mean, what do you write in a letter to your pen pal who's the same age as you? The whole 'Oh hey... My name is Maisie, and I was assigned to you. kind of letter or a simple, here's a bit about me kind of letter? I'm 10 years old, and nothing is that interesting, surely.
"Maisie. Come choose your person."
Making my way to the front of the class, I close my eyes like everyone else did, and I pull out the first one I choose in hopes I get a girl so we can talk about anything and hopefully everything. All the girls in my class are difficult to talk to unless you are one of them. Which is not me.
I wander back to my seat and then open the slip-up, only to sigh when I get the chosen person of 'Max'.
My best friend Taylor is leaning over to me, and she's eager to know who I got as a pen pal. I lean in to not get noticed by Mrs. Jenkins because that woman has radar tabs. She won't listen when you ask her to go to the toilet or to let you out to recess, but she can hear you whispering a mile away. Adults. You just can't deal with them unless you've had your morning juice box and a laugh before class.
"Someone called Max," I whisper while opening my notebook. The school is apparently in New York and is a really good school, so I hope he is quite a nice person. If there is such a thing as boys being nice,
I take my pen and paper and begin writing my semi-best letter in hopes it's readable.
Dear max,
I am glad I got you as a pen pal. Hopefully, you'll be a good friend one day, and I can learn a little bit about New York and the things you like to do there or your favourite hobbies and foods. My teacher assigned us to our pen pal, and I have never had a pen pal before, so it will be nice to have someone to write a letter to each month, luckily for you, I am your pen pal, so here is a little bit about me.
I live with my mom, dad, and big sister Emily in Houston, Texas, but I would love to travel out of this state. I'm in 5th grade just like you, but I'm quite mature for my age. I have an older sister who is 4 years older than me, and we tend to stay out of each other's way, but she's alright.
I love animals, and my favourite animal is a dog. My mom won't let us get one, though she says they smell bad and they're bad for company, but I don't care; I just want a dog. My favourite colour is purple, and my favourite meal is za. Anyway, I would love to hear back from you! I hope you find my letter interesting, and I will look forward to hearing your reply!
Your friend is Maisie.
I folded my letter the way Mrs Jenkins had taught us to do it, and I placed it in the envelope with Max's name and address written on the front of it and the return address if he ever plans to write it back on the back. We were told that it would be great to add your return address in case you ever needed to send an important letter, but it had to be sent back to you for some reason.
Again... My teacher talked too much, but I still listened.
Mrs. Jenkins told us that we should receive our replies in the next couple of weeks, as long as the mailman or woman gets them there on time. Hopefully, they do. Taylor got a girl named Cara as her pen pal, and I was considering swapping with her; she's always been good with the boys in our year, smiling, and will play football with them, but I can't even say hello to my crush Noah without spit-balling spit-literally.
Noah Chapman is the boy in my year who has always been what he calls himself 'The Ladies Man' in other terms, he has girlfriends every other day and then leaves them fighting over him. He's sad, but he's cute.
"You want to come over to my house after school?" I ask Taylor, who is still writing her letter with the blue sparkly gel pen her mom brought her the other day.
"I can't. Ebony is over for tea at nine tonight."
I know Ebony is her cousin, and I know I shouldn't be bothered, but she's just as annoying as Blake, who is Taylor's brother. He flips my pointy tail all the time and pinches me whenever he sees me. He's two grades above us, but I spend a lot of my time at their house when my parents are fighting. Which is a lot.
"Okay. Well, I'll see you tomorrow then," is all I say as the bell goes off and I head outside our classroom to go home and do my homework. My mom and dad will be at work, which leaves me and Emily at home for who knows how long on our own with so much to do.
My mom, 'Charlie', is the kind of woman you'd find in a fashion magazine, but in reality, she works at a law firm as the receptionist, and my father is a lawyer for that firm. Just imagine working with your wife or husband and then coming home together to argue. No...thank...you.
Walking home, I bump into Blake, who is with his friends, riding his bike in the street. He flicks my hair and rides off just as he always does, but this time I can't help but get frustrated, so I shout "IDIOT" at the top of my lungs. He doesn't even look back, but his friends do. Total idiots, a lot of them. As I walked through the front door of my childhood home, I could feel the warm familiarity wash over me. I noticed something was off the moment I walked through the living room. My mom was there, frantically packing a bag and putting everything into boxes. At first, I thought we were going on a vacation. I mean, why else would she be packing if not for a holiday? Me and my sister loved going camping, but that stopped when we reached the ages of 7 and 11. But as I approached her with a big smile on my face, ready to tell her about my new school project, her usual smile wasn't on her lips; she didn't even acknowledge me. She just continued to pack, her face unhappy.
Confused, I asked, 'Mom, what's going on? Are we going on a trip?'
She didn't respond to me; she just walked right by as if I were invisible. I could feel my smile slowly fading as I followed her into the living room, where my dad was also packing.
'Hey dad, what's going on?' I asked, hoping he would give me some answers.
But just like my mom, he didn't seem to hear me. He just kept singing and tapping his foot to the beat. Feeling frustrated and ignored, I walked back to the kitchen and sat down at the table. I watched as my mom, who continued to pack, made quick and efficient movements. I couldn't understand why she was packing everything up. Was something wrong? Were we moving? Can someone tell me what's going on? asking for a 10-year-old.
As these thoughts raced through my mind, tears started to well up in my eyes. I didn't want to leave this home-the only one I had ever known. I didn't want to leave my friends, my school, and everything familiar to me.
But as I sat there, feeling lost and alone, I remembered something my mom had told me once. She said that sometimes change can be scary, but it can also bring new and exciting things into our lives, so I waited for Emily to get home so I could ask her what was going on.
With that thought in mind, I wiped away my tears and mustered up the courage to ask my mom again, 'Mom, what's going on? Are we moving?'
This time, she stopped what she was doing and turned to face me. I could see the sadness in her eyes as she said, 'Maisie, can you please go and pack all of your suitcases and Emily's too and come downstairs? We're all going away. And that was that if my mother ordered me to do something, I did it.
I felt my heart drop at her words. selling the house? I didn't know what to say, so I turned on my heel quickly and did what she asked me to do. Surely they will explain the way to our new home. The tears started to stream down my face as I packed. Four suitcases later, we were all packed and waiting for my sister.
Being a 10-year-old and not liking change, I sat on the sofa and cried. I realised that even though things were changing here, my parents' love for me would never change. And as we packed up our things and I said goodbye to our home, I knew that this was just the beginning of a new chapter in our lives. And who knows, if I was patient enough, maybe it would bring new and exciting things, just like my mom had always said.
But that wasn't the case at all. My mother and father waited until both me and Emily were in the car to tell us that we had been put into the foster system, that they couldn't handle being parents, and that it was a burden having me in their lives. If it were just Emily, they could have probably coped, but me as well. That was a whole new thing for tehm and it was something they didn't want. But if that was the case...why didn't they put me here when I was weeks or even months old? When I could remember anything about them.
We walked up to the front door, and Mariah rang the doorbell. A woman with kind eyes and a warm smile opened the door.
'Hello, you must be Maisie, and you must,' the woman said, extending her hand towards me and then glancing towards Emily.
Eight months pregnant is a scam.Nobody tells you that your feet will disappear, your back will constantly ache and every position you sit in will somehow become uncomfortable after ten minutes. Nobody tells you that rolling over in bed becomes an Olympic sport or that putting your socks on requires the flexibility of a gymnast and the patience of a saint. I love my daughter more than life itself and I already know that I would do absolutely anything for her, but right now she feels determined to lodge her foot somewhere between my ribs and my lungs. Between that and the constant pressure in my lower back, I'm pretty sure she's already plotting revenge for something I haven't even done yet.The weather report has been warning everyone about the storm for two days now and normally I wouldn't pay much attention to it, but living on the coast means storms feel different here. The ocean becomes darker, the wind becomes harsher and the sky turns an eerie shade of grey that makes everything
Three weeks.I’ve been in Barcelona for three weeks and somehow I’ve managed to find a balance between giving Maisie space and refusing to disappear again. It isn’t easy because every protective instinct inside me wants to be involved in everything, but I know pushing her will only send her running in the opposite direction. So instead I show up when she lets me, I answer when she calls, and I spend every single day trying to prove that my actions are worth more than any apology I could ever give her.The first time she lets me inside her apartment I nearly lose my mind.Not because of the apartment itself.Not because of the ocean view.Not because of the fact that she somehow manages to make a tiny place feel like a home.It’s because I see evidence of our daughter everywhere.There are baby books stacked neatly beside the sofa. Tiny socks folded on a coffee table. A half-built changing station sitting against the wall near the hallway, like she had every ounce of energy to do it bu
Pregnant.The word echoes around my head so loudly that I can barely hear the waves crashing against the shore. Every thought I had before finding her suddenly becomes insignificant. The months of searching, the sleepless nights, the guilt, the regret and the anger I directed at myself all collapse into one overwhelming realization. Maisie is pregnant and judging by the size of her stomach, she’s been pregnant for a long time. After asking her the ovbious questions of, do you know if it's a boy or a girl, she finally looks at me, smiles and tells me we are having a daughter. A little baby girl. Our baby. My daughter.Our daughter.I stare at her stomach again before dragging my eyes back up to her face because I don’t want her to think that’s all I see. God knows I deserve every terrible thing she probably thinks about me right now. The truth is that I’m trying to process the fact that while I’ve been spending months wondering if she’d ever forgive me, she’s been carrying our child
The wind coming off the ocean feels colder than it did an hour ago.Maybe it isn’t the weather.Maybe it’s the fact that Max Kenner is somewhere in Barcelona looking for me.I sit on the sand with my knees pulled up to my chest, my oversized hoodie stretched over my stomach. The waves crash against the shore over and over again, the same rhythm they’ve kept since the day I arrived here six months ago. Usually the sound settles me. Usually I can close my eyes and forget everything that happened in Texas. Today every wave feels like a countdown.Ruby disappeared twenty minutes ago.Twenty minutes of waiting.Twenty minutes of imagining every possible outcome.Twenty minutes of trying not to throw up.Not because of the pregnancy either.Because of him.I haven’t seen him in months. Not since before I left America. Not since before I packed up my entire life and boarded a plane with a broken heart and a positive pregnancy test sitting hidden in my handbag.My daughter kicks suddenly.A s
5 months Later. Okay so over the last 5 months since I've moved to Spain I have found my footing with my work, I have been open and happy about what I want to do and the photos I love to take. I have my own new website that I post on and it's thriving but somewhere along the lines of what I wanted t
I read the letter that was posted this morning. I read it over and over again wondering what it all meant.I wanted to believe that I was doing the right thing and that everything I had ever worked for wouldn't be left to rot. My mom was always badgering us boys to be gentlemen and to treat women rig
Dear Maisie,My name is Jillian Sanchez and I am the lead co-ordinator at Flashes and smiles fellow ship in Barcelona,We have read and re read your application, we have continuously checked out your portfolio gathered in Huston Texas and we are extremely delighted to offer you this fellow shit which
My whole body hurt so much, I didn't even know it was possible for my body to hurt this much. I want to say that I will get rescued but each time I reject Professor Shane he gets nasty. I first felt his teeth marks on me not long after we got into his place but the. Again when I refused to take my s












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