Chap 13: [WSIT?] - Patient (3)

I looked up at the clear blue sky, and the thin clouds drifted by. Turns out my sky is no different from their sky.

Stepping off the bus, I walked slowly. This road I have passed many times but have never walked, nor have ever looked. A gust of wind blew with a yellow rain and soft falling sounds. A few tiny leaves landed on my shirt. I looked up, the rows of tamarind on both sides of the road were in fruit season. I bent down to pick up the healthiest of the fallen fruit on the cobblestone pavement, with a crunch that peeled off the skin, blinked and popped it into my mouth. The sweet and sour taste of ripe fruit on the branch blends on the tip of the tongue, the beauty of the world.

Seeing a strange uncle watering his plants naked with a snake-skin faucet, a sense of disappointment gripped my heart.

I stood in front of that person's house, the house was still the same, silent and silent behind the red brick wall. I rang the bell. Unlike the last time, after only two rings, someone opened the door. As a chubby middle-aged aunt with a slightly irritable face:

- Who are you looking for?

- Sorry, I have the wrong house. - I said, sadly walking along the wall to leave.

I turned into that building again, looked up, on the fifth floor was still the old signboard, I tried to read, the four words Tam Huu Linh Te were blurred two words Huu and Te, so clever. It turns out that in my world “Spiritual” still exists.

The layout has completely changed. No, it probably always was, just different from the other world.

Welcoming me were all unfamiliar faces.

I said a few sentences, suddenly felt unbearably sad, hurriedly said goodbye and left.

I climbed onto the bus, watching the heavy scenery pass outside the window. “Standing on this mountain and looking at that mountain”, I scolded myself. It is true that standing on this mountain looking at that mountain, looking crazy. There, they want to find places in this world, and here, they want to find places in that world.

- Duh!!

There was a loud bang, the bus collapsed, several people fell on the floor, there was a loud booing. Everyone got off the bus, discovered that the tire was blown, and had no choice but to walk to the next station to pick up another one. Luckily it's not too far away.

I was walking on the street, clicking around on the phone, hearing the words "Subscriber customers..." regularly.

- I'm watching, am I...

A familiar voice spoke from behind me. I nervously turned my head.

Still a flat suit, that face is a bit too serious. He was still talking on the phone while flipping through documents, looking extremely busy. When he casually looked up to see me, he didn't even show any emotion, continuing to focus on the phone call, completely passing it by. I unconsciously followed him.

- What can I do for you? – Suddenly he did not open the glass door to enter, but turned his head, questioning me in a cold voice.

Dr. Murakami...

- You know me?

- I… your old patient…

- Sorry, I don't remember ever treating you. She is…

- Be a friend of the patient! – Seeing his eyes gradually sharpen, I snatched my words. – I have work to do, go first!

I said hastily, turning to cross the street.

I finally caught an intercity bus, sat down and thought about the meeting just now. Just like when I woke up in that world. At that time, I went to many places, met many people. Some of them did not exist, some changed unexpectedly, some remained the same but forgot about me. Like the people in my dreams, they faced me with familiar faces, but different attitudes. It was as if the countless memories connecting us had never happened. It was as if no one was involved in the story from beginning to end, it was all just my own eternal dreams.

Suddenly an image flashed through my mind. My whole body broke out in cold sweat.

I ran to the front of the car, ignored the driver's scolding, rushed down. I finally saw him sitting in the restaurant he was about to enter. I rushed over to grab the notebook on the table, staring at the cover.

- Girl, what are you doing? – He was still very calm, asked in a slightly impatient voice. I pointed to the cover:

- Tell her to come see me, now!

- Girl, if you want to see our doctor, you have to make an appointment. I gave her the room number…

- Then I had to wait for her at the old place! - I said, definitely turning to leave.

- Hi, I heard you want to see me?

I looked at the woman holding out her hand, my eyes darkening. The whirlwind was like a ferocious punch to the temple. There are no words in the world that can describe how I feel right now. If I had a knife in my hand, I would stab her in the throat. If my hand were strong enough, I would rip her fake face in half. Unfortunately, I'm just a weak fool, I can't even stand up anymore, so I forced a smile:

- Do you think that just acting like you've never met me is enough for me to believe?

No one could fully understand my anger at that time. I was so angry that I wanted to tear them apart. But I hate myself even more. Others deceive me not as much as I deceive myself. Other people sway me not as much as I sway myself. Arranged for me a house and a good reason, I drew a tragedy about Tung Bach, about our love. Giving me freedom, I bind myself again with countless dreams and fantasy interpretations. I think, if other people read my mind, they will probably die laughing. Why in the world is there a funny creature like me?

- Do you think that just acting like you've never met me is enough for me to believe?

Such excellent actors, having no intention of getting an Oscar is a pity. But… – I sneered, I could even feel the disgust in my eyes.

"I..." She panicked.

- I don't understand, what is it for, that makes you do such a shameful thing?

Sunflower seemed to be drained of strength, sitting down, unable to speak. I was like an angry animal again, rushing to grab her shoulders frantically, shaking and screaming:

- For what, after all for what, for what...

"It's all because I want you to continue living..." She also shouted.

- Want me to continue living? How to live? As long as you use the good purpose of keeping me alive, you can again and again perform countless tricks on me, treat me like a white mouse, and arbitrarily dissect and hook. Did my heart pull out my lungs and stuff a belly full of lies, treat my life as a movie that I can edit and edit? Who gave you the right to arbitrarily manipulate the senses, transform reality, and arrange the destiny of an entire person? Are you the Emperor Ty Men who descended?

- They burned coal, committed suicide. - Sunflower swore.

- What?

- My family members burned coal and committed suicide to force her!

- What are you talking about?

- You understand that feeling better than anyone, right? If not today, it will be another day. They said, if you have to be so anxious for the rest of your life, you can't keep me, so we'd better leave together and end this tragedy a little sooner.

- Not only is she a great actress, but her story-writing ability is also very good. But they're not that type of person.

- That night, they called her and told her that if she didn't help them, she would immediately burn coal. I also think like you, they are not that type of person, so I still refused. But what about the end? If it weren't for you not sure, run to my house, your graves are already green today!

- Come on, they're not the type to give up their lives easily!

- So what kind of people are they?

- ...

- I can't speak. How can I understand people I have never cared about? If they easily give up their lives, then just burn coal directly, why call her to convince her, inform her?

Do you think that in this world you are the only one who can give up your life for one person? Or is it that everyone is like me, for someone who is willing to give up his life with no regrets?

- I don't give up my life. I just want to get out!

- Whatever. Now that you remember, I don't have any tricks to use. Whatever you want to do, just do it, at most I will help your family build a grave!

- Want to use them to trick me? You think with what you've done, I would still be foolish to believe you?

- Why don't you think again, when did you start to have asthma?

A young person like you is still like that, what will they be like, do you think?

Can you imagine, when listening to you so that you can continue to live, they must be content to not appear in front of you for the rest of their lives, how much pain they must have been?

***

When I was with my family waiting for the flight to another city to start anew, I saw Helia rushing over.

- Why did you come here? - I hate to ask.

- Can we talk for a bit?

- Why did you leave so suddenly? Did you propose... – As soon as you went far enough, Helia asked impatiently.

- I'm not running away from you. - I smiled faintly.

But to a place so far away...

- I've thought about it again. Maybe they really are my family. In this world, they didn't have to leave. They really hurt me. So, because of them, I decided to live on. We're moving to a new place, starting from scratch. - I said slowly.

- Really? - Helia was a little bit incredulous and asked uneasily.

- Assured. You know, I'm the one who keeps his word.

- Then... live happily. – She reached out her hand, but I did not take it.

- I will live.

I turned my face away, saw that the whole family was also watching, and walked over to them. There was an announcement from the loudspeaker, we went in to check in. My relatives looked back at Huong Duong and waved goodbye, she also waved, her eyes sparkling with emotion.

I was following them in, suddenly running in the opposite direction, grabbing Sunflower by the collar:

- When she said she wanted to go through the things of that world with me, it was because she wanted to believe me and understand me; Or did you have a plan to deceive me, wanting to learn more about the other world to reconstruct?

She shrunk back a bit. I didn't know what to say, so I laughed dryly and said harshly:

- Remember when I killed myself on the rooftop? Do you remember the words you said?

- Do you know, those words that night, in this world, the person who is not qualified to speak to me the most is you?

- I hate you. I hated her before I even met her.

The curtains fluttered open, unable to see both of their expressions.

***

Helia never knew, in a far away place, Layla had become an emerging star in the literary world with her first collection of short stories written in foreign languages. The cover is her own design, with a crayon drawing of a field of golden sunflowers leaning slightly in the wind, a tall pine tree and a blue sky in the distance, with text handwritten "The sky left behind".