2. Hallucinations?

Ivanna's PoV

I finally accepted Jax as a bodyguard, and he started working later that day. From what I've noticed, he did a great job. Everything is as good as I expected.

Today is exactly one week since Jax started working as my bodyguard. I waited for a long time. Bri didn't show up, and neither did Jax. However, I wasn't worried about Bri because she had informed me that she was going back to the studio to finish her design that I would wear to the awards ceremony.

So where was Jax? Did he decide to go home tonight? If he did, he would and should have informed me, right?

I got up and strolled, looking for the servants who would usually be standing guard in some rooms so that they could help whenever I needed assistance.

They were still there, asking me what I needed.

"One margarita, please. Please put it in my room. I'm going to get some fresh air for a while."

A bartender nodded obediently and made me what I ordered while I was still on my original mission of finding Jax, as well as taking a short walk to enjoy the night air and the stars sparkling in the sky.

The night was clear. The air had gotten warmer in recent days. I didn't wear a coat, just a black satin dress with a sleeping robe of the same material and color, walking with no footwear to feel what I was stepping on.

"Jax?" I call his name when I hear a voice in the garden's bushes. I went closer and found Jax sitting there and injecting something into his thigh.

I couldn't have been mistaken. Jax was indeed injecting a red-colored liquid—which I didn't know what kind of liquid—into his body. Several times. First in his thighs, then his arms, and stomach.

Was he suffering from some disease? Diabetic perhaps? Or did he have a substance use disorder?

***

"What you are alleging is not true, Miss. I'm not an addict! You must have a wrong look," Jax retorted while stuffing the damn things into his waist bag. "It's just a serum. I have a little trouble with the cold."

I squinted when I heard him explain what was happening back then, ensuring he wasn't lying. However, it was clear that it was just an excuse.

"It's not cold tonight, Jax. Unless you're suffering from thyroid problems, you won't feel cold," I argued, not to be outdone. "How about we do a test?"

Jax's face, which had been a little pale, now looked even paler when I mentioned the addiction test. He could have an addiction.

If he were, I would stop using his services.

"Uhm, Vans. I think your suspicions are unwarranted. It would be best if you weren't questioning Jax about his illness; it's impolite," said Brianna, who seemed to be trying to understand the conflict before her.

"But I saw it myself, Bri. He injected something!"

I still insisted on my opinion and what I saw, even though Jax was still trying to find an excuse, it seemed, so that he could be free from my accusation. However, as usual, Bri tried to calm me down, and she approached Jax. I don't know what they were talking about. I hoped it wouldn't cause me any new problems.

***

I woke up and felt sweat on my forehead and body. It seemed like I had just had another nightmare. And seeing Jax standing right in front of me took my breath away.

I was about to scream, but no sound came out.

Was he here to vent his anger at my accusing him of what he did a few hours ago? I wasn't lying, and he did inject something I didn't know about.

I'm very much against a person with an addiction, so it's only natural that I'm strict. I even told him not to work here anymore, but Bri kept him from staying.

"Ssh ... don't yell, Miss." The man smothered my mouth and then placed a forefinger on his lips as a sign that I shouldn't make a sound. I didn't know what the reason was. However, when I blinked, Jax was no longer in front of me.

He had vanished like an afterthought.

Was I hallucinating? Or could it be that I was too disturbed by the man's presence and strange behavior to fantasize anything about him?

I got up and off the bed, then strolled out of the room. The entire room was only dimly lit; no one could still awake. Maybe Jax was the exception since he was my bodyguard; he might guard me for twenty-four hours.

I kept walking, unintentionally hearing a voice coming from the first floor. I walked down the stairs and followed the direction of the sound source.

My chest heaved when I saw what was in front of me. Damon, with a woman, was doing something I never thought he would do.

There was no way I could have guessed wrong this time. Even though I couldn't quite make out the woman who was now under Damon's body and was exchanging sweat and fills with my fiancé, there was no way my eyes wouldn't recognize the man who would become my husband.

My chest feels tight, packed as if it's going to explode. All my bones seemed to have disappeared somewhere. My body was weakening like there was no more strength to keep it from swaying and falling to the floor. And indeed, I would almost fall if a pair of sturdy arms didn't catch my body swiftly. And afterward, I only felt darkness enveloping my world.

***

I woke up abruptly, but a glimmer of sunlight creeping in through the gap in the curtains made me confident that what I experienced last night was just a dream. Moreover, Damon was sleeping beside me, and only a blanket was wrapped around our bodies.

I got up quickly, shaking my head in disbelief.

Does this mean I saw Damon making love to me at that moment? What was wrong with me?

"Hey, what's going on, baby?" Damon asked, getting up and stroking my hair. I just shook my head, not understanding these situations.

"Where were you last night? I didn't find you in bed," I asked, unable to help myself. It could be my hallucinations, or Damon was betraying and playing me.

How could I not be suspicious? Damon is a successful businessman who is handsome and generous. He could quickly feel pity for anyone, which would make him act unreasonably. Even if his goal was to help others, it was often in a way that I couldn't understand.

For example, once upon a time, a woman was mistreated by her husband; Damon took her in and allowed the woman to stay in his apartment.

When I checked on her, she misbehaved, and when Damon found out, he defended her.

"Oh, maybe you woke up while I was using the restroom. I'll be a minute, and when I come back, you're asleep, honey."

The man stroked my hair again. His answer made sense and was probably the truth. However, why didn't I believe him?

I felt something was wrong, whether it was Damon or myself.

I responded to Damon's words with a shake of my head. I didn't believe him, but I didn't want to start the morning with an argument. Especially when he pecked my lips and nuzzled the hollow of my neck, the sting of desire suddenly arose from within me.

"Damon, I want you," I begged, then looked deeply into his gray eyes. I'm still breathing heavily, trying to contain the explosion of lust that's starting to overcome me. However, Damon's answer dimmed that desire and drowned it to the bottom of the ocean.

"I'm sorry, baby. You were so wild last night that I was overwhelmed. This morning, I have an appointment with Tatiana to visit the disaster post. We'll donate to them," he said.

Yes, of course—Tatiana again. How can I not be jealous if she continues like this?

"Then I'm coming with you," I replied with the sweetest smile I could muster, hoping she would grant my request this time.

So far, Damon rarely allowed me to join him whenever he organized social activities. It was always Tatiana who he would bring along and be Damon's best partner. I also wanted to experience doing helpful something together with him once in a while.

I wanted to get to know him better. What he likes, his hobbies, his passions. I want to learn and explore it all. However, he seemed to give me the distance to avoid getting too deep into his life.

And sure enough, hearing my request, he looked at my face with his lips pressed together.

"Don't say it. I know you'll prevent me from going with you again." I looked down in disappointment.

"Baby, it's not like that. Look at your condition. I'm just worried about you. Too many bad guys are out there, and they're crazy about you."

"What does that mean?" I asked, not liking the statement that had just come out of his mouth. "Are you saying that those who like me are bad people? All of them? How dare you—"

"Vans, please, don't start." Damon shook his head. He then kissed my lips for a few seconds. I counted how long it took because this was a move he always made whenever I started sulking. "I have to go. Jax will take care of you, and you can ask him to take you anywhere you want. But please, be careful, okay?"

What difference does it make? He went out alone with Tatiana and wouldn't let me go with him, but instead let me go out with Jax.

Fuck you, Damon!

***

I looked at the departure of Damon and Tatiana, who had blown a kiss bye to me. I just gave a faint smile. I'm sick of this friendly charade.

Okay, call me cruel, mean, harmful, or whatever for thinking badly of my best friend—who was the one who introduced me to Damon, her cousin. But please, look at it from my perspective. Would any woman have the patience for her boyfriend, her future husband, to be dealing with his cousin too much and looking like a lover than with her?

"Miss, are you ready? Is there anything else you want to bring?" asked Jax, who was ready with my luggage.

I tightened my coat. The air feels so cold even though it's almost noon. And about Jax—why does his skin look so pale and glow in the sunlight?

"Jax, can I ask you something?" I asked as the car started moving slowly away from the mansion. I had intentionally brought one driver and let Jax focus on his job of protecting me, not doubling as a driver.

"Please, Miss." The man sitting beside the driver's seat seemed to turn his head slightly toward me. However, I couldn't see how he reacted because of the sunglasses he was wearing.

"Where were you last night?" the same question I asked Damon, and I hoped I would get a more relieving answer that I wasn't dreaming or hallucinating last night.

"I stood guard outside your and Mr. Alejandro's room. Is there a problem, Miss?"

I sighed harshly. The answer wasn't much different from what Damon had said. They are not precisely similar, but they are the same. It didn't give me what I wanted to hear.

"No, I'm not. I feel weird. Last night I woke up and looked for you, but I didn't find anyone. And when I went down to the first floor, Damon—" I couldn't continue my word. "Never mind. I don't think we should talk about that."

How strange. Were Jax and Damon working together to play me? Considering I got Jax through Tatiana's app. And the night of the attack—was it also their ploy?