Feelings And Bond

Uriah observed Eiran for a while before leaning forward. “That’s only possible if both of you have no feelings left for each other. Even the slightest feelings could just make the bond stronger instead of breaking it.”

Eiran eyes rounded. “Is it possible to break the bond?”

“Yes it is but as I said it’s mating, even the slightest feelings during the sex could just make things worse.” Uriah stood up approaching him. “It only works if both of you hate each other. Like you are knotted because you two had strong feelings for each other. That connection is what created the bond. And if the bond senses that the feelings connecting both ends of the knot have disappeared, it will end."

I do hate him a lot. I hate it that I’m bonded to an Alpha despite being an Alpha myself. Eiran tilted his head to look up at him. “Are you sure that it works?”

“ Listen, It’s like the Alpha bonded with you, marking you as their only territory with the emotional bond. But when you two mate with no more emotions left the mark will disappear.” Uriah walked back to his chair and sat down. “But I don’t recommend it. Even if you both hate each other you never know how you would feel during sex.”

“I would only feel disgusted.” Eiran grabbed his bag. “I am sure of it.” He bowed and walked out.

He took the elevator. “So he wasn’t lying! He stepped out of the elevator. Why did not he come to me before if he knew he could break the bond with me?

He froze for a moment. I do hate this bond but am I sure I hate him? He squinted his eyes shut. Why am I even thinking about it? It’s not like I am going to agree with him.

The next day Knight followed him closely. “Did you ask your doctor?”

“I’m not interested,” Eiran replied without looking.

“So you did ask.”

Eiran slowed down before picking up the pace.

“All we need to do is to let our bond know that we don’t have any feelings left anymore.”

Knight’s words weirdly felt painful to Eiran and he turned around walking up to him. “If you knew we could have broken the bond and there was a way, why didn't you come earlier? Why after years and now?”

“I had no idea we could do that in the first place.” Knight intently gazed at him. “Even if I did, we would have failed since we still had feelings for each other.”

“You had feelings for me precisely.”

Knight blinked rapidly and gritted his teeth before letting out a shaky breath. “So your feelings shifted from that moment? Did you start to hate me for what happened?”

“Who wouldn’t, we are both Alpha but because of what happened I’m stuck with you for no reason.” Eiran was nonchalant about his wording and Knight looked surprised.

“Are you sure you are over those feelings?” Eiran squinted his eyes.

“Of course. Otherwise why would I want to break the bond. I want to start dating but since I am bonded to you it feels like I would be cheating on anyone I date. I also want to be drunk on the pheromones of the partner I am with.” Knight smiled. “So you are considering it?”

That shit stings because I am unable to smell my partners, that’s why we end up breaking up with empty feelings. Eiran inhaled deeply. “So you want to break the bond and wanna live a normal life?”

So you think it’s not normal Eiran? Knight eyes filled with sadness. “Yeah. What else?”

“I will think about it but don’t get your hopes up because I will probably end up refusing anyway because I don’t really want to mate with you. It will be extremely hard to make up my mind.” Eiran walked away leaving Knight frozen and lost.

Eiran’s head was a mess of countless thoughts. He stepped into the house and the quietness weighed onto him.

I want to break that bond too. I want to have kids and fill this house with my own family. He let out a sigh and walked into his room. His preferences had not changed over the years.

His room was filled with the posters of his favourite actors and figurines and a dreamcatcher hung at the door. He sat on the bed placing his arms on his thighs.

Have I really gotten over my feelings. When I think about whose son he is I really do hate him. He feels stained with blood and it disgusts me. But when I think about our past relationship I can’t help but feel old emotions. He exhaled a deep breath. It’s because I was too immature back then and my feelings were too intense.

He took out his phone and sent Uriah a message.

“Can I have another session with you.”

He started getting changed and his phone vibrated. He picked it up and a message from Uriah popped up.

“Sure come to the hospital tomorrow afternoon.”

Eiran threw his phone in bed and laid on his back. Knight’s face flashed through his mind. His gaze has changed. It’s different from the way he used to look at me back then.