4 - Fault

VERENA CIELLE LEE

Ang sinasabi kong aalagaan ko ang sasakyan niya ay nauwi sa kaunting gasgas lang naman. 

Kaunti lang siguro iyong medyo natupi sa harapan, may gasgas sa mga magkakabilang gilid ng sasakyan. Right, it’s only a few. 

I don’t really know how to drive, but I have a license. Hindi naman kasi ako masyadong nagda-drive dahil may driver naman ako. Pinilit ko lang dahil gusto kong makalayo sa lalaking iyon.

Isa pa, Rouge will take care of it. Hindi naman magagalit iyon. Instead, he’ll buy another car. As if naman he’ll use the same car I’ve destroyed—no, hindi ko sinira. Gasgas lang iyon. Duh.

Hindi ako umuwi sa’min. I went straight to Lessi’s condo unit at kahit alam kong pagod na pagod siya dahil sa taping niya ay nakuha niya pang tumayo para pagbuksan ako ng pinto.

Her hair’s messy. Naglalaway pa. Pero kahit na gano’n she’s still pretty, but I am much prettier.

“Elle, anong oras na? Bakit nandito ka?” Tanong niya pero pinapapasok niya pa rin ako.

Due to her pagod, she went back to her room without even hearing my answer. Napaismid ako pero sinundan ko siya. Nakialam ako sa mga gamit niya at nang may makuha na ako especially extra underwear na hindi niya pa nasusuot ay dumiretso ako sa banyo at naligo.

Tumabi ako sa kanya sa kama at matutulog na sana nang maalala ko ang mukha ng lalaking iyon. It’s been years, pero mas lalo siyang pomogi, lumaki ang katawan at tumangkad. Unlike before na payatot at walang kalaman-laman.

Well, nakikita ko pa rin naman siya occasionally lalo na’t lapitin ako ng gulo. He’s always there to save me. Pero iba pa rin kapag nakikita ko siya, parang laging may bago sa kanya.

Nakatulog na lang ako dahil sa pagod at kakaisip sa kanya. Pagkagising ko ay wala na si Lessi sa tabi ko. I went out of her room only to see that she had already prepared some food. 

Doon naman sumakit ang ulo ko dahil ngayon lang umepekto ang alak na ininom ko kagabi. Dang. It hurts so much.

I took my phone out, opened the camera, and snapped a few selcas — the perfect mix of effortless and fierce. Without hesitation, I posted them on my social media.

In seconds, the likes started pouring in—thousands upon thousands—and the comments section exploded.

May mga taong na-amaze sa kagandahan ko, flooded with heart emojis and “Gorgeous!” remarks. Pero of course, may mga iba ring hindi pinalampas na mag-bash. “Typical Korean beauty, plastic surgery lang ‘yan,” one comment sneered.

I rolled my eyes hard. Duh, have they even seen my mom? She’s the most stunning Australian supermodel I’ve ever known. Natural beauty runs in the family—something these keyboard warriors clearly don’t get.

Just as I was about to scroll past the negativity, one comment caught me completely off guard.

It wasn’t just rude or petty—it sent literal chills down my spine.

Devilhunter22: “You look beautiful, Cielle... but I’m watching. Always watching. You can’t hide from me.”

I froze. My fingers trembled as I stared at the screen, the cheerful buzz of notifications fading into a cold silence in my mind.

Hindi ko alam kung ilang minuto na akong nakatitig sa comment na iyon hanggang sa matabunan na lang ng dinagsa ng mga komento ang picture ko.

I shook my head and moved. I decided to visit Mali in her company. She told us about her new product that is soon to be launched, and of course, palagi kaming nangunguna to support her.

I called my driver right after I got out of Rouge’s Range Rover, and he quickly fetched me. As we cruised through the city lights, my mind was already set on Kamali’s company—Eclipse Cosmetics. Kamali wasn’t just any friend; she was a brilliant dermatologist who had built her empire selling not only makeup but effective skincare products.

Pagdating ko sa building, I noticed the place buzzing with people—customers, employees, and some familiar faces. But I didn’t care. I had one mission: see Kamali and check out her latest products. Diretso ang lakad ko papunta sa opisina niya.

Inside, I found Eya and Lana chatting with Kamali, who was already busy inspecting some new stock. “Hindi niyo ako hinintay!” I said, pretending to be hurt, but my tone was playful. Kamali just laughed, that warm smile lighting up her face.

“Here,” she said, handing me a lipstick. I took it and immediately felt butterflies—this was the shade I’d been looking for. A perfect red: bold but not too bright, sultry yet sophisticated.

“Grabe, Kali, ito na ‘to. The perfect red,” I said, swiping a little on my wrist and admiring the color.

She winked. “I knew you’d like it. Only the best for our bunso.”

I smiled, feeling lucky to have friends like her—ones who didn’t just sell beauty but understood it. And right now, I needed all the confidence this shade could give me.

The shade was named after me, just like Sereia and Iliana. Shivani and Khalessi, too, are part of our close circle, and they each had a shade named after them as well. It was a special collection, carefully curated.

Six pieces per set, but of course, you could buy them individually if you wanted.

Kamali told me, “It’s not just lipstick. It’s like wearing a piece of your personality. Every shade reflects who you are.”

“I heard what happened last night,” panimula ni Eya.

I looked at her, and my smile faded. “That darn woman! Hindi ko naman kasi alam na may girlfriend pala iyong nahalikan ko. Kasalanan ko bang maganda ako?”

Natawa silang tatlo sa sinabi ko kaya mas humaba ang nguso ko.

“Heard Rouge came too?” Lana asked, smirking. And I hate her smirk.

“Darn him, too!” 

Nailing na lang ang tatlo dahil sanay na sila sa kaguluhan ko. And Lana? She’s a trouble magnet too.

“Wala man lang bengbengang naganap?” Kinikilig na saad ni Kali.

“Eww?! Maghunos-dili ka nga, Kali!” 

“Kali? Wtf?” aniya na nakataas na kilay. “Don’t play with my name, Verna!”

Nawala ang kapilyahan ko dahil sa sinabi niya. “Eww? Verna? Super sophisticated and elegant ng name ko and you’re gonna call me Verna?! Nakakaimbiyerna ka, Kali!”

“Bakit ba kasi Kali? My name is Kamali. Simply Mali. You’re making it complicated, Verna!”

My brows furrowed. Verna? Eww. “The fudge. It’s Cielle! Not Verna!” I screamed, kulang na lang ay pumutok ang litid sa leeg ko. Rinig ko naman ang hagikgik nina Eya at Lana. 

“Isa pa, Kali suits you better! Pinanganak na nga tayo sa maling mundo, napupunta pa sa maling tao,” biglang umiba ang ekspresyon ni Kamali. From bubbly to gloomy. Well, her ex-boyfriend just cheated on her. Hindi daw matanggap kasi mataba siya at piniperahan lang siya. 

“Mali pa rin ang itatawag sa’yo? You’re not Mali! And girls are always tama!”

Eya smiled. Lana clapped her hands. “Oo. Girls are always tama. Baliw na lang ang mga lalaking kasumpa-sumpa na nga mukha, pati ba naman ugali. Ilibing ng buhay iyan!”

I giggled, and when I looked at Kali, her face had softened—umaliwalas na talaga ang mukha niya. Her warmth was contagious, and I couldn’t help but smile too. For a moment, everything felt light, easy, and safe.

But then, like a sudden chill on a summer day, a memory crept in.

Something from the past.

A younger version of me—reckless, impulsive, hurting people without meaning to. And even if I didn’t intend to, I did. I always did. I was always at fault.

No matter how many times I tried to make up for it, no matter how loud I laughed now, or how hard I worked to be better today... the weight never really left. I was still carrying that version of me. I was still haunted by the pain I caused. And the truth was, kahit anong gawin ko, kahit ilang beses pa akong humingi ng tawad sa iba’t ibang paraan—I still felt like I didn’t deserve to be forgiven.

I looked down at the lipstick in my hand, the one named after me, and wondered... does a name mean redemption? Or was it just a pretty mask I wore to hide the scars I never showed?

Kali touched my arm gently, snapping me out of my thoughts. “Hey,” she said softly. “You okay?”

I nodded, forcing a small smile. “Yeah. Just... remembering.”

And that’s the thing about memories—they never really leave. But maybe, with friends like her beside me, I could at least learn to live with them. Maybe, just maybe, I could finally start forgiving myself too.