6 - Hot & Cold

VERENA CIELLE LEE

Sinubukan kong umangat, umupo man lang—kahit konti. Pero wala. Para akong lantang gulay! 

My limbs were jelly, my head was pounding so hard para akong sinasaksak ng libo-libong karayom sa sentido.

I closed my eyes tightly, hoping the world would stop spinning—but it didn’t. Mas lalo lang akong nahihilo. 

My breath hitched, and I realized my skin was on fire. Hindi literal, pero ganon ang pakiramdam. Sobrang init. Ang init-init.

I reached for my neckline, sinubukang tanggalin ang pagkakasara ng dress ko. Hindi ko na kaya. Para akong sinisilaban. I wanted to peel my own skin off just to cool down. Was the room really that hot—or was it just me?

Is the house burning?

Hindi ko alam kung illusion lang o totoo, pero may naririnig akong tila alarm. A siren. Malapit. Lumalakas.

T-Teka... pulis ba 'yon?

I tried to focus, pero lalo lang kumabog ang puso ko. Hindi ko na maayos ang paghinga. Every gasp felt like fire going down my throat. I was sweating all over, and my vision was flickering in and out like a broken screen.

What the hell is happening to me...?

Tiningnan ko ang paligid, hoping for something familiar—but everything looked warped, like the walls were closing in. The loud bass from the party felt like it was pounding straight into my brain, kahit sa labas na ‘yon nangyayari.

Nanginginig ang kamay kong humawak sa bedsheet. I needed to get out. I needed air. I needed—

“Rouge...” I whispered, or maybe I just thought I did.

Bakit parang ang layo-layo niya? Bakit ngayon pa ako nagkakaganito?

Then I remembered the champagne. Something wasn’t right. Hindi ako ganito kalakas tamaan. I know my body. I know my limits.

Someone did this.

And I was alone. Half-conscious. Helpless.

And if I didn’t do something soon, I might never get out.

Nanghina ako. 

Hindi ko na maalala kung paano ako napahiga ulit. Parang may humihila sa’kin pababa, pabalik sa dilim. 

My phone slipped from my hand and fell somewhere on the sheets. Hindi ko na maabot. Hindi ko na makita.

“Cielle! Cielle, can you hear me?!”

Faintly, naririnig ko pa rin ang boses ni Rouge mula sa linya, paulit-ulit akong tinatawag. Pero hindi ko na siya masagot.

My trembling hands shot up to my chest, clawing desperately at the fabric of my dress. Sobrang init. Para akong nasusunog mula sa loob. Hindi na ako makahinga nang maayos. Para akong ikinukulong sa sarili kong balat.

“Ah—f**k…” I gasped, my voice cracked and weak. Gusto ko na lang maghubad. Gusto kong magbabad sa yelo, sa tubig—kahit ano—basta mawala lang ‘tong init na ‘to.

Bakit ko siya pinagkatiwalaan? That man—Cassius! P*****a! I should’ve known. I should’ve seen the signs. Hindi ako ganito kadaling bumigay… Pero ngayon, pakiramdam ko para akong ginawang laruan.

Tears burned behind my eyes, but they wouldn’t fall. My whole body trembled as I tried to tear at the tight fabric hugging my skin. I felt violated, betrayed, and trapped in my own body.

“Cielle!”

Biglang bumagsak ang mundo ko sa boses na ‘yon.

That voice—rough, deep, urgent.

Rouge.

His voice was laced with something I’d never heard from him before. Pure, unfiltered panic.

Nanlalabo man ang paningin ko, I turned my head toward the door, chest heaving as the world tilted beneath me. 

My knees buckled under the weight of heat and confusion, but in that moment, I saw a dark silhouette burst through the door.

He stood there for a second, eyes wild as they locked onto me, half-undressed, drenched in sweat, barely conscious. 

His fists clenched at his sides as he stepped forward, jaw tight, nostrils flaring.

“Cielle…” he breathed, softer this time, almost broken. He rushed to my side and knelt beside me.

“Rouge…” I managed to croak, my lips trembling. “I-I… something’s… wrong…”

Hindi siya nakasagot agad. His eyes scanned me, fury warring with fear in his expression. Then, without hesitation, marahan siyang lumapit sa’kin at niyakap.

And then, that scent.

Expensive Daddy Vibe.

Yes, I thought that.

Even while I was in literal danger, while I could barely breathe and every nerve in my body felt like it was on fire, I still had the audacity to think, “Damn, this man smells like a billion-peso stock portfolio and heartbreak.”

Funny, I thought bitterly. Nagawa ko pang magbiro habang naghihingalo.

“Rouge,” wika ko. My sight was still blurry. 

“I’m on fire,” dugtong ko, but this time. Walang halong biro. dugtong ko, but this time, there was no hint of humor. No teasing sarcasm. Just truth—raw, terrifying, and searing through my skin. “Mainit, sobrang init…” 

Narinig ko siyang napamura. His voice was sharp, panicked, at galit. Ramdam kong hinawakan niya ang braso ko para i-stabilize ako, pero pinilit ko siyang itulak palayo.

“Mainit…” I repeated, over and over, like a broken prayer. A helpless chant from a body that no longer felt like mine. “Help… please…”

Sinubukan kong tumayo, holding onto him for balance. For hope. My legs wobbled beneath me, weak and useless, but I managed. Even just for a second.

Pero ilang hakbang pa lang, I scratched at my neck—wildly, like something was crawling under my skin. I gripped my dress, tried to peel it off, desperate for air, for cold, for release.

“Cielle!” he snapped, grabbing my wrists before I could tear the fabric. “Damnit, what did you do this time—again?”

Again.

The word slammed into me harder than any drug could. Again.

Parang sinampal ako ng lahat ng pagkukulang ko. Every mistake, every reckless night, every poor choice flashing through my head like a cruel highlight reel.

Oo nga pala.

Lagi na lang akong sakit sa ulo. Lagi na lang akong mali. Parang wala na akong ginawang tama sa paningin nila—sa paningin niya.

Right. I don’t have the right to complain.

Not when I drank that glass.

Not when I walked into that house.

Not when I trusted a stranger with a pretty face and a charming laugh.

Tears welled in my eyes, blurring what little clarity I had left. I tried to speak, to explain, but no words came out.

Just heat.

Just chaos.

Just drugs in my freaking head.

“Kiss me, Rouge…”

Hindi ko alam kung anong pumasok sa isip ko at bigla ko na lang nasambit iyon. My voice was hoarse, trembling with desperation and heat. I couldn’t think straight, couldn’t breathe properly—not with the drug coursing through my veins, clouding every rational thought.

“I’m drugged, Rouge,” I whispered shakily, clinging to him like he was my last thread of sanity. “Help me…”

I didn’t care what he’d think of me anymore. Pride had already left the room the moment I stepped into that damned house. I just wanted him. His scent, his warmth—his lips on mine. Maybe, just maybe, that would ground me back to reality.

“Mainit… Please, Rouge. Help me release the heat in me,” I pleaded, breathless.

Sinubukan kong halikan siya, but he caught my hand gently and pushed me back.

“Fvk, Cielle!” 

I couldn’t see him clearly—my vision was still a swirling blur—but I knew that expression. His jaw was clenched tight, his teeth grinding like he was holding something back. His fists were trembling. I knew that look, because I had seen it before… the exact moment he was about to lose control.

And yet, I also knew one thing: Rouge never resisted me. Not when I touched him. Not when I kissed him. Not when I begged for him like this.

But tonight, he did.

Imbes na halikan ako ni Rouge ay kinaladkad niya ako sa ibang bahagi ng silid na ito at ilang saglit lang ay napatili ako nang may malamig na tubig ang bumuhos sa buo kong katawan.

“Mainit ba kamo?” he said, his tone sharp and biting. “Ayan. Magpalamig ka muna.”