Chapter 8

ASTRID

I woke up with a start, my heart already pounding before my eyes fully opened. Sleep had been a battlefield of weird dreams and fragmented voices I didn’t recognize.

Everything faded once my eyes adjusted and I sat up slowly, wincing as every muscle protested from the hollow ache in my belly.

I took a breath as it passed, showered and got dressed.

I had nothing here. No clothes that belonged to me. So I slipped back into the same silk outfit from yesterday. I had a mind to request clothes, but I didn’t want to be in their debt in any way or form.

My hands trembled as I smoothed the fabric down. After all, it was just for today and I wouldn’t see them again.

I was going home. The thought bloomed warm in my chest as I descended the sweeping staircase, the flat shoes silent on the carpet.

The moment I reached the bottom of the stairs, I saw Kaveh in the foyer, speaking in hushed tones with Kian. He was dashing in a navy suit and Kian was more casually dressed in a shirt and slacks.

Their heads were close, voices low and urgent as they spoke. Kian glanced my way first, his kind eyes tracing my face for any hints of doubt.

I stopped a few feet away, forcing myself not to fidget. “Are you ready to go?” My voice cut through their conversation, sharp and clear despite the anxiety in the pit of my stomach.

And I wondered briefly if I was like this before I lost my memory, snappy and considered rude.

Kaveh’s head lifted as he turned to face me. He sighed heavily. “Let’s go.”

Just as we moved toward the massive double doors, Arman appeared from a side hallway, his face stormy. He blocked our path, eyes blazing like dark storms as they locked on Kaveh.

“You’re going to regret this decision,” Arman warned, his voice low but heated. “She belongs upstairs in her room, not chasing ghosts. You’re only going to break her more by doing this.”

My chest tightened. I opened my mouth to disagree but Kian stepped forward quickly, placing a hand on Arman’s arm. “This has to be done, Arman. She needs to see it for herself. You can’t fight Kaveh on everything. Let them go.”

Arman snapped back, his words flying fast. “You’re both fools if you think this will fix anything!”

But Kaveh didn’t respond. He simply placed a firm hand on my lower back and led me out, guiding me toward the waiting black car. His touch was light and I tried not to focus on it.

The engine purred to life as we slid inside, leaving Arman’s protests echoing behind us.

The ride was tense, suffocating. Kaveh drove in silence, his jaw clenched, knuckles white on the steering wheel.

I stared out the window, watching the sprawling estate give way to city streets, my mind a whirlwind of fear and fragile hope.

Now and then I’d tell Kaveh where to go and he’d steer the car smoothly. Each mile brought me closer to my truth; my parents’ modest home, the garden, the life that proved I wasn’t some lost daughter of a powerful stranger.

We arrived a little before 3 pm. The sun hung high, casting harsh light on streets that should have felt familiar but didn’t. I stepped out of the car before it fully stopped, my heart hammering wildly.

“Astrid, wait—”

But I wasn’t listening. This was it. The neighborhood where I grew up. But the second my feet hit the pavement, panic clawed up my throat.

Shops lined the streets, bright storefronts, bustling crowds, modern signs blinking with sales and promotions.

Everything was an unfamiliar blur. Where was the old bakery on the corner? The small park with the rusty swing Mom used to take me to?

“No… no, this can’t be right,” I whispered, my voice breaking.

I spun around frantically, eyes darting from one shiny building to another in disbelief. I rushed forward, legs carrying me toward what I thought was the right direction.

But nothing matched. The modest white house with the garden was gone, swallowed by shops like it had never existed.

I barged into the nearest store, a clothing boutique that smelled of perfume. “Excuse me,” I gasped to the young woman behind the counter. “Do you know the Matthiessen family? Or the white house that used to be here? My parents— they lived right here.”

The woman blinked, confused. “I’m sorry, miss. I’ve only worked here for six months.”

I didn’t wait for more. I bolted to the next shop, my hands trembling as I pushed the cafe door open. A bakery was supposed to be here.

“My parents, they lived next door, do you know them?”

“No. Sorry.”

Faces blurred. Voices murmured as I barged into more shops.

“I don’t know anyone named Matthiessen.”

“I’ve never heard of them.”

I kept moving, frantic, from store to store, my questions growing more desperate with each rejection.

“Has anyone seen my parents?” My voice cracked louder, drawing stares. My world felt upended; tears stung my eyes but I refused to let them fall.

My home couldn’t be gone like that, paved over like it was nothing.

A shadow fell over and Kaveh appeared beside me, gripping my arm and pulling me back from the entrance of yet another shop.

His face was etched with worry, but I shoved him hard, my palms slamming into his chest.

“Don’t touch me!” I cried, stumbling backward. My eyes darted wildly at the place I believed I had grown up in. People were staring now, their whispers spreading like wildfire.

A mother pulled her child closer as if I were a lunatic. An old man shook his head. I was making a scene, but I couldn’t stop. Panic pulsed through me, hot and unstoppable.

“Astrid, get in the car,” Kaveh said firmly, reaching for me again. But his words sounded so distant, muffled by the roaring in my ears.

I shook my head, breaking into a run. My feet pounded on the pavement, breath coming in ragged sobs as tears stained my cheeks.

Kaveh cursed sharply behind me, his footsteps hot on my trail. “Damn it, Astrid!”

The streets blurred through my tears. I tugged at my hair, fingers pulling strands loose in frustration.

Maybe I’d made a mistake in the directions. Maybe I just needed to find the right street.

But my memories were clear, this place was my home.

Why did this happen to me? What sort of cruel joke was the world playing on me?

The gaps in my memory seemed to be getting wider now. Nothing felt clear, like I’d been tossed in the ocean without a life vest.

The more I tried to understand, the more the painful truth crashed over me like a merciless wave. I was lost. Completely, utterly lost.

A scream clawed its way out of my throat, pained and animalistic.

Just as my knees buckled, strong arms suddenly trapped me from behind, catching and pulling me into a solid chest.

“It’s okay, Astrid.” Kaveh’s deep voice echoed in my ear.

I struggled wildly, thrashing against his hold, my elbows jabbing back as hot tears streamed down my face.

“No!”

“They’re gone, Astrid.”

“It’s all a lie!” I screamed, my sobs tearing from deep within my soul. “I have to find them. Let me go! Please, just let me go!”

I fought harder, legs kicking, but his grip only tightened, steady and unyielding. The world spun faster.

The pain in my chest exploded into heavy grief and a terrifying feeling of emptiness where my identity should be.

It all felt too much. Like my body couldn’t take anymore painful surprises.

Black spots danced at the edges of my vision as I sobbed.

“I can’t…do this,” I whispered hoarsely, the fight draining from my limbs.

Kaveh’s hold relaxed as I turned slowly into him and pressed my face into his chest. Hot tears slipped freely down my cheeks, soaking his shirt as the darkness closed in.

“I don’t know who I am.”

“You are Astrid,” he said soothingly. “Your memories will come back. Until then, we will help you.”

The last thing I felt was his arms adjusting to hold me gently, almost protectively, as I gave in and my consciousness slipped away completely.