CHAPTER TEN : AT THE BROTHEL

CHAPTER TEN

***MEI'S POV***

The sound of moans fill the air as soon as I push past the door of the brothel. I crinkle my nose a bit as the scent of sex and arousal fill my nostrils. Curtis looks very pleased beside me as his hazel eyes scamper around in search of what he likes to call a 'worthy fuck'.

He doesn't even make an attempt to conceal his excitement as it's very evident in his scent. He once told me letting off scents and pheromones, attracted a vast variety of fucks. I didn't know that because I met my mate earlier than most werewolves and now, I'm practically immune to pheromones of whoever isn't my mate. If anything, I find it annoying—the scent of others— yet I wish it was the exact opposite. Being immune is a stupid punishment that comes with this stupid bond.

"I'll be right back. You need to eat something." Curtis says, as he gives me the 'I told you to eat a while back but you don't listen' look as my stomach roils again. I hadn't even realised it was now obvious. I roll my eyes at the realisation but quickly mutter a 'thank you' before he changes his mind about getting me food.

He turns on his heels and disappears into the corner at the left, moving with such confidence that tells me he's been here a few times. I'm not surprised. My omega frequents brothels, especially during his heat. And honestly, I love that for him. Sometimes, I wish I'd had the chance to experience life and sex and the in between before I found my mate.

I was young and naive when I met Nolakai.

I was just sixteen.

I inhale deeply and force my mind to take in the surrounding. My skin prickling, hyperaware it's the first time in years since I've let myself fully think of his name.

The room is painted red, black chairs littered in every corner. Red light illuminating the room and thus setting the mood. The whole place is made to reek of sex.

The walls, all having a dip or curve in them. It's basically just a whole square with holes.

There's no privacy.

Tired of standing, I move to the red seat at my right as I plop my weight on the seat.

Finally.

My mind drifts back to Borin and what he might be doing right now. I hadn't even given him a chance to speak before leaving.

"I'll deal with that later." I mutter as I reach for my phone and open the Fame-A-Gram app. I wonder if Talia or any of the other staff might’ve leaked my dinner with Borin yet.

I scroll through the app.

Nothing....yet.

Ok.

"Just keep it on there and leave." Curtis says as he approaches me with a lady holding a tray of food in her hands, gesturing for her to drop it on the table infront of me.

My mouth immediately starts to water as the aroma of the food hits me, my attention on my phone long forgotten.

Brown rice. Chicken.

I flash Curtis a warm smile.

What would I do without my omega?

He mirrors my actions, his wolf purring as he seats on the chair beside me.

"I got you your favourite. Now eat." The lady flashes Curtis a warm smile and winks before leaving.

I hastily open the plate. The aroma filling my lungs as I confirm it truly is my favourite.

I swallow hard before digging in.

Mmm.

An overwhelming sense of bliss washes through me as I taste the rice.

Again.

I dip my spoon in my plate, mixing the rice with the sauce just how I like it, before shoving it down my throat.

I purr, the feeling of sating hunger, absolutely sublime.

"Why do they even have food in brothels?" I ask, my words a bit muffled from the food in my mouth.

"What better way to recharge than with food?" Curtis responds giving me a wink as he fumbles with the pillow on his laps.

I can tell he's hungry. For sex. And currently trying to hide the tent forming in his pants. This place reeks of sex.

"You don't have to wait till I'm okay, to go after your 'worthy fuck' ." I say as I swallow the food in my mouth and reach for the glass of water.

"Would you rather I let your thoughts in the way again?" He mutters, paying no attention to me as he holds onto the pillow for dear life.

Ouch.

I get he's on edge but seriously? Using my tendencies against me?

I take in a deep breath as I drop the glass on the wooden table. Curtis is my best friend. He means well for me even when his wolf is being a bitch.

"You could bring them here," I suggest, as I mix sauce and rice together. His head snaps to look at me and I have to fight the urge to smirk.

It wouldn't be the first time I've watched him fuck but he is usually always against it, because he feels I'm just torturing myself and he can't deal with it.

It's ironic because in some sick, twisted way, I like watching it. It calms my wolf.

If we can't have sex, we might as well be able to watch it—if the participants are willing of course— and fantasise about things we'd like.

"You know I can't do that." He says, avoiding my gaze.

"You can but you won't." I say, making sure to accentuate the disappointment in my voice. "Bummer, I really wanted to finish the food but I guess I can't now." The sarcasm in my tongue is sweet to the taste. I drop my spoon on the plate and lean back into the chair.

"What are you doing?" Curtis asks, concern creeping up his voice. I resist the urge to smirk as I ignore him, my gaze intently fixed on nothing.

"You're barely halfway through your plate." He says, urgency in his voice as he turns the look at me. The pillow shifts from on top his legs revealing his tent. But he either doesn't seem to notice or doesn't care.

"Open your mouth." He says, picking up the spoon to feed me. I ignore him again, humming a tune unknown to even me.

If he's going to starve, we might as well starve together.

"Come on Mei, don't be like this."

"Bring them in and I'll eat." I can see the excited glint in his eyes, my omega has always loved the idea of public display but he keeps refusing and I need him to get past that damn pity.

I want this, he wants this, why the hold up?

At least that's what I tell myself even though I know I'm begging for scraps here but I don't mind him seeing me this way, he's been with me way through worse. And right now, my wolf would do anything, for a little bit of intimacy, even though it's second-hand.

Curtis stares at me for a long beat, his jaw tightening as he weighs his primal urge against his fiercely protective instinct. Finally, he lets out a harsh exhale, his broad shoulders slumping in defeat.

​"Fine," he grumbles, tossing the spoon back onto the plate with a clatter. "But the moment you start getting that existential look in your eyes, I'm kicking them out."

I smile, a warm tinge of victory spreading through my veins and settling deep in my abdomen.

He unveils his scent as he exists the space and it hits me hard as it fills my lungs.

I think I might be high—high on my omega's excitement.

It's a lot. Is this what it feels like to be on heat?

A heady feeling courses through and constricts my chest, making it hard to breathe.

I wish I had my mate, I wish he would rut on me. He is an alpha afterall.

The sounds of wet lips pulling and smacking fills the space as Curtis carries in a red head. His hand sprawled across her ass as he lifts her effortlessly.

Goosebumps spread through my skin and I quickly reach for my spoon and stuff my mouth with rice.

I wish someone would carry me like that. What would it feel like?

Curtis parts lips with the redhead and look at me for confirmation.

She's looks at me, her lower lip between her teeth as an excited glint shimmers in her eyes, the sparkle a light brown.

I wonder if she's a veil omega like Curtis of if she's concealing.

I nod my head to give him the green light, slowly munching on my food.

He wastes no second as he plops her on the bed and joins their lips together roughly.

Oh. Ok.

His hands began to move after a while, skimming down her body like he's looking for something. She shivers, as a soft whimper escapes her lips. The full extent of her arousal hitting me. I guess she is a veil omega afterall.

​I'm completely calm, I reason, inhaling deeply.

The food tastes divine, sating a purely human hunger, and I genuinely believe this raw, uninhibited visual noise will act as a dampener for my wolf.

I need to dull the persistent ache that has lived in my chest for a decade, and if watching my Omega indulge does the trick, I will happily take the distraction.

​ The sounds of wet lips pulling and smacking fills the tight space as Curtis leans into her. I chew slowly, observing them with a quiet, clinical interest.

I had been just sixteen when my bond was severed, I never actually experienced the unhurried, adult progression of intimacy.

I watch how his mouth traces her jawline, mapping out the architecture of her reactions with a practiced ease.

His lips tracing kisses from her chest to her stomach. She reaches to run her hands through his hair but he stops her, pinning both her hands above her head.

"Please." She begs, in a breathy whisper as Curtis finds one of her nipples. I can only imagine how good it must feel as the sounds that escape her lips are unnatural.

I wonder what it would feel like to have mine sucked like that.

Mmm.

My wolf stirs, taking in the sight before me.

I dip my spoon in my plate before putting it back in my mouth. My gaze moves to the omegas in front of me, the red head shaking restlessly as she grinds into Curtis, taking anything he's willing to give.

​

Something shifts in my ribs as the redhead let out a high, breathy whimper.

​I notice the effortless fluidity in how they touch. The girl’s fingers tangling in Curtis's hair, her back arching instinctively to minimize the distance between them.

I swallow, taking another spoonful in my mouth. I want that.

Want to be able to run my hands through hair, to kiss and feel alive.

Want to soothe this burning ache in my chest. But above all, I just want to love and let myself be loved.

A sudden, cold spike pierces through my calm facade, settling deep in my abdomen. The taste bitter on my tongue.

​

Would he have carried me like that? Would Nolakai have looked at me with that desperate, singular focus?

​

The ghost of a ten-year-old memory threatens to surface, and my wolf stirrs violently in response, reacting to the name like a matching spark to gasoline.

​

Suddenly, the brown rice in my mouth tastes like dry ash, but for some twisted reason, I force myself to watch believing this is my salvation.

His mouth moves to her other nipple as he plays the other one between two of his fingers.

She moans into his mouth as she begs for more.

Would I ever beg for more?

After what feels like ages of teasing, he finally listens to her and put two fingers into her mouth. She sucks on them, her gaze never leaving his as she lubes his fingers.

Curtis break the contact first and I wince, even though I'm not surprised. He's told me before that eye contact during sex is for his mate only.

The red head seems to notice and before she can react, he pulls his fingers from her mouth and pushes into her.

"Oh. Yes. Yes." The words escape her lips as she rides his fingers, uncanny sounds escaping her lips. He pushes in and out slowly, setting a rhythm that has her arching her back and moving her hips to meet his thrusts and as I watch them with uncanny attention, my werewolf senses, usually so safely compartmentalized beneath my corporate armor, forcefully expands.

The red-lit booth becomes agonizingly loud. The erratic, rapid thudding of the redhead's heartbeat, a frantic rhythm, vibrating against my own eardrums.

I can smell the sharp, electric transition in her pheromones as Curtis pins her hands above her head with his other hand, the heavy scent of their combined heat pressing into my lungs.

​

Watching isn't enough anymore.

It isn't numbing me.

It is feeding a beast that had been starving in the dark for a decade.

​

The realization hit me with the force of a physical blow.

Second-hand intimacy cannot satisfy my fated bond.

This isn't sating my wolf, it's teasing her—us. The emptiness in my chest doesn't shrink—it only widens into a howling, dangerous void.

​

Curtis drives himself into her, setting a heavy, rhythmic pace, and she lets out a moan of relief.

His scent suddenly spikes with a sharp note of friction and I turn to look at him.

Is he not fully into it?

Through the sound of the girl's frantic moans, I hear his lungs hitching as he tries—and failes—to steady his breathing.

​

His hazel eyes flash dark, breaking his rule of anonymity as his head snaps over his shoulder, his gaze locking onto me.

He's losing focus.

He can probably smell my sudden deterioration, the protective bodyguard in him actively battling his primal omega level heat and as much as I appreciate his concern, he needs this, just as much as he thinks I do.

​

The redhead notices the break in momentum instantly. Her light brown eyes flaring with irritation as her fingers dig into his shoulders in an attempt to pull his attention back.

"Who is she?" she gasped out, her breathing ragged, as Curtis still moves slowly between her thighs.

"Curtis... who the fuck is she?" She moans into his neck as he reaches between her thighs and rubs.

​ Curtis doesn't answer her. He just stares at me, his chest heaving as the thick aura of his anxiety fills the booth, the crack in his hazel eyes show him forcing a choice between his own relief and my sanity.

​

That's when I hit my breaking point.

​

The room blurrs. The red light of the brothel bleeding into a violent, suffocating crimson as a wave of raw, unchecked pressure explodes from my core.

I drop my glass of water, the crystal shattering against the floorboards as a low, feral growl vibrates in the back of my throat.

My vision flickers, the steady brown of my eyes fracturing as my inner wolf pushed violently against the surface, trying to tear through my skin just to escape the agonizing hunger.

I need him. My mate.

​

"Mei, stop," Curtis commands, his voice dropping into a hard, anchoring tone as he immediately pulls away from the girl, entirely abandoning the act.

She whimpers from the absence of his touch, as she face palms, probably in disgust, but I don't care too much to linger on her, not when I need to keep my wolf in check.

​

I squeeze my eyes shut, gripping the edge of the table so hard the wood groans under my fingernails.

I force the air into my lungs, dragging my wolf back down into her cage inch by agonizing inch, until the crimson fades from my vision and my breath stabilized.

​When I finally opene my eyes, the redhead is hurriedly fixing her clothes, glaring at me with absolute terror before sprinting out of the booth without another word.

The silence that followed was deafening.

Fuck.

I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I thought watching would sate me, like it always did.

​Curtis slowly sits in the chair beside me, his scent heavy with a grim, devastating clarity.

Watching doesn't work anymore.

The thin illusion of my control has officially shattered, and for the first time in ten years, we both know my wolf is becoming entirely unstable.

​

"I'm sorry," is the only whisper I manage, my voice raspy and raw as I stare at him feeling absolutely terrible.

I've cockblocked him and as much I know he cares for me, he's not okay. His silence is enough proof of that.

I clean a stray drop of water off my blazer with trembling fingers as I stand to leave.

"I'll go home alone." I say, turning on my heels to leave without giving him another glance. For the first time in all our years together as friends, I feel....ashamed of my wolf lashing out, mostly because I've never actually been this out of control before and I have no idea how to take everything in.

I need some time alone, and so does he.

I can feel his eyes on my back as I exist the booth, the silence thick between us.

"Please don't come home till you're okay." I mutter, but I'm sure he can hear me.

I take in a deep breath as I exist the brothel, my vision suddenly becoming blurry and I wonder if it's from the strong winds blowing this night.

I know it's not. There really isn't any wind.

It's just me and my sick pathetic self.

I hold on tight to my purse as I move my legs back to my car, fighting the urge to breakdown.

No. No. No.

We've been through this before.

I'm strong, I'm pretty, I'm smart.

I recite the words in a last minute attempt to stop the dam threatening to pour through my eyes.

All efforts to keep that from happening turn futile the moment I enter my car.

Tears stream down my eyes as I sniffle in an attempt to stop it.

Nothing.

So I let it all out.

A series of emotions coursing through me, and settling deep in my stomach.

Why me? What did I ever do wrong?

I'm tired. I'm so fucking tired.

I just want to live. I just want to be.

The world around me fades as I rest my head oh the steering wheel, unable to coerce myself to start the engine.

There's nothing now, just me and this deafening silence. And even in all this, my thoughts dart to him.

Nolakai.

The icy blue shimmer in his eyes. The way his eyes catch in the light, they're the most beautiful orbs I've ever seen.

"That's what you'd think because he's your mate."

"He rejected you, he doesn't love you, he never has and never will."

The voices in my head keep torturing me, clawing at my chest and ripping at whatever's left of my heart.

"I still want him." I mutter, trying and failing to deter the voices in my head.

In this moment, I want him. I want that familiar scent of Cedar and winter rain, I want it to wrap around me and tell me that it's okay. That I'll be fine. That I'm not alone.

Yeah. Alone. I feel so fucking alone right now.

More tears stream down my cheeks as the wave of realisation washes through me, again. As much as I've come to terms with it, it still hurts everytime.

My hands grip the steering wheel tightly as my body shakes with violent need, I can feel the anger seeping through my veins and the longing clawing at my wolf.

I'd half expected Curtis to run after me, but that is selfish for me to want, he has his life too and I should respect that.

I want him to be happy but I hate this feeling.

I punch the wheel in an attempt to vent but it only results in a loud horning sound.

My wolf flinches at the abrupt sound and I lean back into the leather seat.

I hate this feeling, hate how helpless I feel, hate how it seems like I have no control over the situation.

I only realise tears are still streaming down my face when I bring my lower lip between my teeth.

I can't even stop mopping like a child.

My thoughts drift back to Nolakai for a while. I don't really know much about him, and the few things I'd picked up back then, I'd forced myself to forget over the years.

Would he comfort me whenever I needed?

My heart skips two beats as I feel blood rush to my face, giving a heady sensation. I'm well aware of the answer but I refuse to think it, doing that only makes things worse.

"That's right dear, he doesn't love you." The voices quip again but I'm quick to shun it, it's the least I can do to preserve what's left of my sanity.

I wipe my tears with the back of my hands, but my vision is still blurry.

I hate that I can't even get my emotions in place, but I don't try to fight it anymore. I will allow myself to indulge just this once.

My lips part in a yawn, as the heady feeling overwhelms me. The salty feeling engulfing my tongue as tears stream in. I relax onto the steering wheel in an attempt to find a comfortable position to stop the banging in my head.

My eyes flicker as I struggle to stay awake and as I finally accepted the truth I've been fighting all night, my eyes give out and succumb to the dark hues that follow.

I need my mate. But does he need me?