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8. WHERE I BELONG
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THE ROYALLY SCREWED ROGUE 9. DANGEROUS KIND OF ALPHA
Sleep would have been my redemption but I had finally escaped my demons, I did not want to see them ever again. “No pioitutuyo.” I cast out, a hitch in my breath as the spell took effect. I counted each second as the clock in my head ticked away. I drew the moon and saw it move across the sky until I got tired. Nothing could distract me from the pain nor the cold. My teeth chattered, and my nose was congested. My eyes were teary with a headache tearing through my brain but somehow, I bore through the hours. A sound pulled my brain from the gutter it had fallen in. I raised my head up, staring at the darkness but nothing came. I looked away only to be pulled back with the sound getting louder. It felt like a cry. I tried to get a much clear listen but my ears were practically useless at that point. My curiosity nearly got the best of me but I shook my head and leaned my cheek on the cool toilet. The sound got louder and louder until the screams were clear to me. My night turned fro
THE ROYALLY SCREWED ROGUE 10. WARNING GIVEN
The house shook as a roar tore through then a door slammed. From there nothing but clutter filled the house. I heard things break, Alpha Logan smashing everything with groans of anger pouring from him until it all stopped. My body shrank and I wrapped my arms around my body as the silence stretched. I did not know where he was then suddenly he was all I could hear. He thundered up the steps until he walked through the door. His eyes found me and he did not even have to speak. I quickly rushed forward, expecting anything. He turned from my approach and rushed down the steps. He was walking so fast which left me running. The front door was thrown open with force. I closed it after and ran behind him. On his hand was a large container that seemed to be carrying a certain liquid. All parted ways or changed direction as soon as they saw him. No one could blame them, Alpha Logan was burning red in fury. The pack warriors were training at some part of the pack. I could hear them roar loud
THE ROYALLY SCREWED ROGUE 11. BREAK DOWN
We did not sleep that night. Alpha Logan did not sleep that night. He paced from each corner of his room. He slapped and brushed through his head over and over. He groaned until I thought his throat would tear then when he needed more, he began banging his head on the wall. He hit it over and over as I watched with a drumming heart. At a point it did not do it for him so he punched the walls, slowly at first then he got more and more aggressive. He stopped and took a deep breath before he began pacing again. His body lowered to the bed when he had paced so much his feet began crossing each other. His head sat on his hands, the silence as haunting as him pacing. I sat on the floor, just staring with blurry eyes. All he was feeling was pouring over to me because I found myself also rocking back and forth on the floor. My head pounded and every part of me ached. The pain surged up, pain I had been burying. Things that I had tucked away just erupted back with no warning. My eyes close
THE ROYALLY SCREWED ROGUE 12. PEACE FINALLY
The sound. That constant sound that came with each wood he chopped into half. It was therapy I did not know I needed. The cool wind, I was thankful for it because I felt it took away some of the bad odour I carried. My skin was itching. I knew it was mostly in my head but I saw the torture of not being allowed to shower. I felt so dirty and disgusting. I did not even want to know what I looked like, just dirt stuck on my skin and I accepted the disgust. I sat on my shins, my eyes trailed on Alpha Logan as he chopped the wood he had hauled out from the shed behind the pack house. There was so much wood and I wanted to see how far he would go. He seemed a bit relaxed. After the massacre he had done in the early hours of the morning, he took a shower, cleaned his room then we left the house to where we were at that point. The wind blew my hair. It felt greasy and claggy. I stared down, using a thin twig to clean my nails, the only thing I could clean. Footstep approached, pulling my
THE ROYALLY SCREWED ROGUE 13. MEMORIES THAT SCAR
Somehow, I had found freedom. Alpha Logan walked into the room he had trashed the day before. I would say it was a living room before he happened to it. Nothing had been spared, broken pieces of what once was. He moved around the room, picking up the pieces. He would stare at different broken items for a while before putting them away. I stayed by the door, bending to pick up a few pieces. When he was further from the garbage bag, I ran to put all the pieces I had collected then went back to collect more. It took hours on hours. Nothing was salvageable. Not even the large couch which he couldn’t take his eyes off. He ran his hand over it and did not dare move it as torn as it was. He left and came back with a broom and a mop. He left to collect water and when he came back I was already halfway sweeping. I made sure I left nothing behind. It was my first time sweeping and it made me feel normal. For those minutes I played the normal girl who did normal chores with a normal family.
THE ROYALLY SCREWED ROGUE 14. SEE THROUGH
If I ever chose a day to wallow in my sorrows it would be that day. If I ever chose a way for my demons to drown me, it would be in that way. My eyes were sore even before I opened them. My heart seemed to be pounding from them, not wanting to open so I did not. I had never been so warm in my life. No blanket could ever compare. I felt safe in a way I could not describe. I had found shelter and I did not want to step out. Alpha Logan’s heart pound right on my face. It was normal for pure werewolves but for me, as a hybrid, it was fast. I listened to it’s drum and whizzed away in a serenade. I was engulfed in him. His arms held so tightly I never wanted anything else. I held tighter to him and fought the tears from spilling because I had never experienced anything like it. I hadn’t realized how scared and how torn I was until lying there in his arms. His warm breath fell on my hair. His scent healed as I breathed it in. It was all maddening. His breath changed and his heart sped u
THE ROYALLY SCREWED ROGUE 15. LOGAN
That night we did not sleep in the same bed but somehow, we were connected. I sat on the floor, a gold chain binding my hands together. My knees were up, head on them in the silence of the night. It had been an hour since Logan slipped in bed. I could not tell if he was asleep or awake. My head turned, staring at the bundle of sheets on the bed with the realization falling on me. I had slightly gained more night vision which meant I was healing. I wondered how long it would take to get my wolf back or if I would be able to get her back at all. The thought left me aching deep in a way I could not describe. “Fall alisialize.” The chains fell away. I twisted my wrists around then placed my hand on the bed, my head on my knees, staring at my outstretched arm. I closed my eyes and drifted into nothingness. My eyes pulled open as my hand was pulled up with large warm fingers lacing through mine. The warmth spread from that hand down my arm to my toes. I wanted to smile but found myself
THE ROYALLY SCREWED ROGUE 16. TEETH AND BLOOD
Rays peaked in from every little space available in the thick dark forest. It was just rare shots of orange here and there. I was seated up, such fascination before me. We passed through one of the larger beams from the sun and that little dose of its heat was amazing. I turned to stare back at it only for us to jump into a clearing. My head turned forward, a gasp pulling from me. I could not help but impatiently tap on Logan’s wolf over and over again. He shook his head but I continued tapping. “Logan, look. The sun.” I pointed as if he could see me. The excitement had me sound like a child. I had never seen the sun so beautiful. It was about to sink over the large white mountains. The sky was colored all thick shades of orange and it was breathtaking. Logan stopped and turned, staring at the amazing sight. I sighed, content. He sat and just watched with my smile finally breaking through. Instead of looking ahead I found myself staring at him. My hand went to the top of his head
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