Chapter 1

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I stared at the good view outside this moving bus. The hot summer air touched my wet face and my soft curly hair danced along with it. I wiped my cheeks using my hand. I have to stand with my decision.

Leaving the city and choosing to be away from the problem and to the people I thought would be my crying shoulder, was the best that I could do. All I need right now is an escape. Escape from everything—from the frustrations, wrong choices, fake people, guilts and regrets. I need a new environment even for just a short period of time.

The bus stopped, waking up my mind from my thoughts. I guess, I'm already in my destination. I step out from the bus, feeling the fresh wind of Rizal. Naglakad lakad ako habang lumilingon sa paligid upang humanap ng masasakyan patungo sa talagang pupuntahan ko.

"Saan kayo, Ma'am?" A man approached me with all smiles. Kahit may pag aalinlangan ay sinabi ko ang kailangan ko.

"S-Santa Cecilia po?" I'm not sure about the place, but maybe they knew about it.

"Ah, oo. Isang daan ang binabayad doon mula dito. Sasakay ka na ba, Ma'am? Kukuha na ako ng tricycle." Magalang ang paraan ng pagkakasabi ni Manong kaya nakampante ako kahit papaano.

"Opo. Salamat po."

Bitbit ang isang back pack at maleta, hinintay kong dumating ang sinasabi na

sasakyan. May pera naman akong naipon kaya walang problema sa mga nagastos ko ngayon.

Moments later, a blue tricycle stopped in front of me. Iba ang driver no'n sa nakausap ko kanina.

This is my first time riding one. Sa manila ay mayroon akong ilan na nakikita ngunit hindi ko pa nasusubukan. Maingay 'yon at magalaw dahil sa lubak na kalsada nila. The ride took half an hour before I finally saw the arch, labeled with the name of the place, Sta. Cecilia.

Nagpahatid ako sa mismong tapat ng mansyon ni Lola, buti na lang at kilala ito kaya hindi na ako nahirapang hanapin pa. Hindi ko alam kung tatanggapin ba ako dito. Hindi ko rin kasi sinabi ang pagpunta ko. Ang tagal kong nakatayo sa tapat ng luma at kinakalawang na gate bago pindutin ang doorbell. Even the exterior of the whole white mansion looks very old. Sa tagal ng panahon, nagbago na ang kulay nito. It was surrounded by crawling leaves all over the house and even around the gate. I find it creepy. Kung napa renovate siguro ang bahay, paniguradong maganda ang kalalabasan nito. 

Lumabas sa bahay ang isang babae na tingin ko ay matanda lamang ng ilang taon sa'kin. I was alerted. 

"Sino ho sila?" aniya mula sa kabilang parte ng tarangkahan. Palagay ko ay hindi niya na ako kilala dahil sobrang bata ko pa nang huli akong pumunta dito.

"Wynter Lee po, pakisabi." Iyon lamang ang sinabi ko, dahil hindi ko alam kung ano ang tamang i-address sa sarili ko sa mansyon na 'to.

Umalis saglit ang babae at bumalik para pagbuksan ako ng gate. Habang naglalakad papasok ay nililibot ko ang mga mata ko sa bawat nadadaanan. Nakarating na kami sa loob ng mansyon at tumigil kami sa isang tanggapan.

"What brought you here?" Nakataas na kilay ni Lola Mathilda ang bumungad sa'kin. Simple lang ang itsura at ayos niya, hindi tulad ng ibang mga namamalagi sa mansyon na nagsusumigaw ang yaman dahil sa suot na damit at alahas.

Hindi kami close ni Lola mula pa noon kaya nakakahiya rin na dito ako tumakbo, pero siya na lang ang tanging malalapitan ko. I don’t have any choice but to lower and swallow my pride. I guled hard before I tell her my reason. 

"C-can I stay here po? For the whole summer?" I am dead nervous right now. Halos magwala sa kaba ang puso ko. Kung ipagtatabuyan niya ako ngayon, hindi ko na alam kung saan pa ako pupunta.

She surveyed me from head to foot with her raised eyebrow. Maya-maya ay tsaka siya tumango. 

"Okay, just don't get yourself into trouble. I'll be with your cousins for vacation. I will leave after a week." After saying those words, she turned her back to me and left the receiving area.

Jane, the woman who welcomed me earlier, cleaned the room where I'll be staying. She also helped me with my other needs. I refused her help but she insisted. Wala na akong nagawa pa kundi hayaan siya. 

Hindi nagtanong si Lola tungkol sa kung bakit ako nandito o kung bakit ako hinayaan mag-isa ni Daddy. Sana bukas at sa susunod pang araw ay hindi na siya magtanong, dahil hindi ko alam kung paanong paliwanag ang gagawin ko.

Walang alam si Daddy sa pag-alis ko, as if he cares. Ito ang napili kong puntahan dahil alam ni Daddy na hindi naman ako malapit sa kanila at ang alam niya, ayaw ko kay Lola Mathilda, which isn't true. Partly yes, but not to the extent that I wouldn't dare to see her or come to ask for help. Kinapalan ko na ang mukha ko dahil ito na lang ang last resort ko.

I lie down my back on the soft mattress of my bed. Naka-ayos na ang mga unang kailangan ko rito, kagaya na lamang nitong higaan. Mabuti na lamang at mabilis iyon na naasikaso ni Jane. Thanks to her.

Kinuha ko ang picture frame na nilagay ko kanina sa bedside table. It was a picture of my Mother. I stared at it for a moment.

"I miss you so much, Mommy. I wish you're still here, para hindi na nagagalit sa'kin si Daddy." I caressed the glass that covers the picture. "I miss my best friend, sister, teacher and mother. All in one ka, eh. Kaya ngayon na kinuha ka na sa'kin, nawala na din sa'kin ang lahat." Hindi nakatakas ang pait sa boses ko.

The window curtains suddenly blown by the wind. Pumasok ang malamig na hangin sa loob ng kwarto. Mainit pa rin ang pang hapong araw ngunit malamig na hangin ang nararamdaman ko.

Sinarado ko ang bintana at bumalik sa pagkakahiga. I closed my eyes and embraced the picture frame of my mother. I can feel the cold air entering my room again. My heartbeats fastened. The hair all over my skin straightened up. 

"I-is that you, Mommy? Is this your way of saying that you're always by my side? Like

what have you always told me?" My voice cracked and my tears ran down through the side of my eyes.

Hindi ko namalayan na nakatulog na pala ako. Nagising na lamang ako nang may pumasok sa kwarto ko.

"Lola..."

I rubbed my eyes and got up from lying in bed.

"Hindi ko alam kung bakit napili mong pumunta rito, but I'm certain that your father is one of the reasons,” she casually said and sat down on my bed. I pursed my lips and didn't say a word. Medyo nabigla ako sa biglaang pagkausap niya sa akin.

"I know you're still hurting, I am still, too. Your mother is my daughter, Wynter. It's also hard for me that she's gone. Kaya sige, hindi ako magtatanong. I'll let you stay here whenever you want." Hindi bakas ang emosyon sa mukha ni Lola habang sinasabi ‘yon ngunit ramdam ko ang concern niya. I was relieved. 

She used to be super strict before. Never in my life have I seen her laugh. I expected her to welcome me with a mocking tone or raising voice, but instead, she treated me casually. People change over the years, I guess.

After dinner, I decided to wander around the mansion. Everything is antique, from the vases, frames, portraits, furniture and the piano. I trailed my fingers up through the handrailing of the huge staircase as I went up stairs. Sa second floor ay puro kwarto lang. It was intentionally made for the family who wants to stay here.

I strolled along the hallway, but my attention caught by the slightly open door of one of the rooms. It's dark so I couldn't see what's inside. Out of curiosity, I entered the room. The light wasn't working so I endured the darkness of the room. I can say, this room is abandoned, the furnitures are all broken. Wala naman palang kung ano dito sa loob.

I was about to leave when I saw a silhouette of a man standing in front of the big window. My eyes widened and I couldn't move my body. My fear got more intensified when the door I left open suddenly shut. I screamed in shock and nervousness. That's the moment I finally moved myself and hurriedly opened the door. Jane's frightened expression welcomed me. Agad akong lumabas at sinarado ang pinto.

"A-anong ginagawa mo dito? Ikaw ba 'yung sumigaw?" she asked, nervously. Si Jane pala ang dahilan ng pagsara ng pinto.

"Akala ko ay kusang sumara ang pinto kaya natakot ako.” I am breathing heavily. “I'm sorry, I went in." Baka magalit si Lola na nangialam ako ng kwarto dito. My chest went up and down, hinihingal pa dahil sa nasaksihan. Posible rin bang hindi totoo 'yung nakita ko sa bintana?

"Paano ka nakapasok? Naka-lock 'to at saka hindi na binubuksan," nagtatakang aniya at sumulyap sa pinto sa likod ko.

"H-huh? But I saw it open, earlier." Mas lalo akong kinabahan dahil sa sinabi ni Jane. Muli kong sinulyapan ang gawi kanina. 

"Ganoon ba?” Saglit na naisip si Jane. “Baka naiwan lang na bukas ni Manang… Pero bakit naman bubuksan ni Manang 'to?" she said the latter in a whisper with her brows furrowed, like she was just telling those to herself. Her face was full of confusion. 

"Magpahinga ka na, Wynter. Siguradong pagod ka sa byahe mo." Jane tapped my shoulder before heading downstairs.

Pinigilan ko ang sariling sumilip ulit para tingnan kung totoo ba ang nakita ko sa loob. I don't know if ghosts really exist, but I'm still afraid to see one… Kung makakita man ako ngayon, hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko. 

Instead of staying there, I went back to my room to take a rest. Kahit nakaidlip ako kaninang hapon, hindi pa rin sapat 'yon at ramdam ko pa rin ang pagod. Hindi lang sa byahe, kundi pati na rin sa nangyari bago ako umalis. I felt so drained.