“If you hated your dad as much as you say you do, you would be long gone… I don’t think you do. I think you want to be here and act like this, so he spends all his time and attention dealing with your bull. You’re just an angry little boy who can’t forgive him yet still wants his love.”
“Gimme a break… what are you a shrink like your mom now? Trying to psychoanalyze me?” He laughs at me, a breathy bro chuckle, and shakes his head as though I’m hilarious. Still infuriating with his hands in his pocket pose and casual lounge. “Newsflash, she sucks at her job, and you’re mini-me attempt is as sad as she is. You don’t know anything.”
“Yes, I do, and don’t talk about my mom like that. She’s an amazing doctor and does it well. She tries hard to make this work. You just…”
“No, she doesn’t. You’re as deluded as she is if you see how she is and think that is her trying to make this work.” Dane yanks his shirt from my hand, where I was unaware I was still gripping it, and steps away from me. “I had enough of this shit in there and don’t have the energy for round two. Go away, leave me alone. I’m sure you have a biology essay calling for you. I have a date, and I’m late thanks to your mom, so back off, Virgin.”
Dane’s tone is forceful with a tint of exasperation, and I know we are going round in circles. This is not the first time we have had this argument in the past months, and it turns out the same every time. He walks off. Insults me, evades it, and leaves.
“You’re a loser who is so caught up in resentment that you’re ruining your own life.” It’s my last ditch attempt to wound him, and before I storm off, his laugh cuts into the growing tension as he turns towards me but continues to walk backward.
“What about you, Little Miss Perfect? Straight A’s, class president, leader of so many mind-numbing afterschool clubs, charity volunteer, and stray animal savior…. Never give your mom a reason to complain and do everything she tells you to, like a good little puppet. Ever ask yourself why you have to be so perfect?… Could it be because you’re afraid she’ll get tired of you like she did your dad and up and leave you?”
His words cut into my chest like a knife. Winding me and pushing my eyes to mist over. He’s always known how to twist the knife in my soul.
“You don’t know me…. none of that is accurate. There’s nothing wrong with being a good kid and doing well. I want to be something with my life and not waste it the way you are.” My voice trembles, and my breathing gets raspy. Hating him for touching a nerve, even if it’s not entirely accurate.
“There is when it’s become an obsessive compulsion from fear of your mom no longer loving you. Try failing something and experiencing the panic it causes you…. We’re both screwed up, Kayla…… You’re in no position to lecture me.”
“You know nothing…. You're an idiot.”
I have no words to come back at him. Incensed at the nerve of this jerk, thinking my need to succeed in life is some sad scar inflicted by my parent's divorce. I’m not him, so caught up in old hurts that I let them rule my life. He’s so stupid.
I can’t argue with it, insult him, think of a sassy response to shut him up, and instead try to brush it off the way I do his insults by not rising to them.
“Carry on living in denial and your boring day-to-day good girl existence … I’ll continue enjoying my youth.” He smirks, dismissing me.
“The fact you are walking tells me my mom took your bike again. Don’t come crying to me tomorrow for a loan of my car again. I won’t give it to you, and you better call Tyler for rides to and from school because I’m not your chauffeur.” I sneer at him, knowing it’s the only punishment my mom can ever exact that my stepdad will support. They take his bike keys and helmets for a few days to try and teach him the consequences of his crappy attitude. He’s always soft on him and holds my mom back when, maybe, if he let her rip at him once in a while, he might grow up.
“Whatever. Look, butt out of my business, okay? We may live in the same house, and our parents may be married, but you are nothing to me but an annoying girl who should stick in her own lane. Concentrate on your own life and get out of mine.”
I want to scream at him. My skin prickles and my heart is pounding through my rib cage, so my breathing is labored while he acts cool as a cucumber. Every word out of that arrogant mouth somehow makes me always want to have the last say. To shut him up, close him down. He’s so self-absorbed.
“You think it’s that easy? Do you even know what the past ten years were like? Being questioned every day after school to check in on you. How you were, who your friends were… your grades…. were you happy? You may have avoided your dad, but I became the source of information that kept him sane because I got to see you every day at school. I don’t want to be in your life, but it’s been about you since the day they got married.” I glare hatefully. “He loves you and tries, but you aren’t worthy.” I stamp my foot “I so wannabe nothing in your life, but you’re a curse I can never get rid of.”
“Feeling’s mutual, Virgin. Go home.” He salutes me with a mock military sign, a smirk, and a chuckle as though all of this is highly amusing, even though I’m panting like I ran a marathon. Holding back a mix of fury and tears borne of frustration. I don’t know how he always affects me this way.
The flash of car headlights rounds the end of the drive and illuminates the dark area behind him, indicating his date is here, and I scowl further as he glances their way and waves a two-minute signal. I catch a glimpse of a shadowy figure, but I can’t tell who she is. Another bimbo he's banging, and that alone is enough to worsen my already foul mood. He’s a man whore loser who will spend his life living on his dad’s money and doing nothing to earn it.
“Kayla, the best thing you could do, is stay away from me … at school, at home…. Wherever you see me…. and tell them you know nothing when he asks. I never asked you to be involved. I owe you nothing. Now… go, I’m leaving.”
I nod, beaming brightly and gazing around our home for the next few years. We only moved in a couple of months ago after a hellish separation, living in segregated dorms. We had roommates who were not great and time spent together was minimal given we were separated across a huge campus and we both had curfews. Long hours studying and little hours being together had made me really miserable. I missed sleeping beside Dane more than anything, and then my dad surprised us on Dane’s birthday with the keys to this place. Bryan coughed up the money to furnish it. A five-minute walk to school for us both and a reunion we both badly needed.One thing my parents did agree on, Dane’s, too, was that throughout our college years, we would not work to support ourselves. They wanted our full attention on study, so they paid our way, gave us allowances, and keep us in a life we were accustomed to while living at home. We’re spoiled, and now we get to be spoiled together.In the first months of coll
FinaleThree years later“You all packed?” Dane wanders in from the lounge to our bedroom where I am zipping up my case, having just finished. Looking rested and chill, given it’s day one of our break from classes.“Yup. You can take it to the car.”“Did you bring warm clothes for London? It’ll be freezing compared to Florida. Bring a jacket, too.”“I listened to you the first time. Everything is in there…that’s why I have such a big case.” I smile, gazing at the handsomeness of my beloved as he slides my luggage from the bed, leaning in to kiss me on the temple. Despite it being a daily occurrence and my having his affection for more than three years now, he still gives me heart flutters anytime he touches me. I almost melt with the gooey warmth of his smile and the attention he gives me.I guess now we attend different lectures all day, every day, I don’t see him as much as I used to, and it makes me long for him more.“Good girl.” He drops it to the floor, extends the handle as he
Dane brushes himself down with a grimace even though she didn’t touch him and turns our way before hitting me with a bright, sexy smile, and he closes the gap between us. Forgetting all about that shrew.“Miss me? Look, such a good boy all enrolled back in school .” he holds up his forms with glee as though serving me some great achievement certificate, and I reach up and ruffle his hair before patting his head.“Such a good boy. I’ll reward you later.”“You can reward me now…teacher still ain't here.” Dane winks, leaning in as though he plans on kissing me and I shove him off and move around my desk to put distance between us. It’s one thing announcing your status but yet another entirely to make out while half the class is openly gawping at Dane for his sudden return.“Behave,” I warn and lean out to pat his cheek, seeing as he looks like a sulky child now.There's chatter around us, and I hear his name mentioned subtly as Charmaigne charges back in, looking ferocious as hell. Her m
“You are very energetic and happy today? Is it because your boyfriend is returning?” I tease Tyler as he almost bounces into the row behind us in the first class of the week. Throwing his bag down and grabbing Elisa by the head to plant a dramatic kiss right on her crown. I spent the last few days at home settling Bryan in and getting used to the new strained dynamic at home, and I am glad to be back here. As nice as it was to have so much time home and spend a lot of it with Dane, it still felt like we were walking on eggshells around my mom, and it was taking a mental toll. Life is adjusting, though, and my mom really is keeping her mouth shut, even when she walks in on us, cuddling or kissing.“He’s been so excited; it’s actually cute… can’t deny the bromance is strong in those two, and I pale in comparison.” Elisa pipes in, grinning back at him with her funny dig over the chair she’s half-turned in, and he leans forward to peck her on the tip of her nose.“Bestie love does not ev
“We can go to my study…Dane, just Kayla.” She adds as though he will follow and he probably was going to, but she’s right. Something started between her and I and should be resolved that way. Dane has been shielding me too much lately because of my inability to face more drama. I need to put my big girl panties back on. Her and Dane have nothing to say to one another anyway, and he will only put her on the defensive, which I want to avoid.“I’ll be close by….just yell if you need me…… Very close by.” Dane doesn’t lower his voice; instead gets louder with his warning tone, making it obvious to my mom that he doesn’t trust her, and I pat his arm to get him to release me.I slide out of his arms and follow my mom out of the kitchen, across the hall, and into the study without looking back, even though I can feel all their eyes follow me out. Already, my insides are like a washing machine because I do not know what exactly she intends to say to me.My mom is being weirdly quiet, too, and
“You four are making me feel chronically single.” Hannah huffs, pushing the cans of soda across the breakfast bar towards Elisa as Tyler opens up some bags of chips for us to share. We have a stack of pizza boxes waiting to dive into and a plan to darken the nook to spend the day eating junk and watching movies. Dane and I are too tired for anything else and feel like we are on some emotional comedown after a month of hell.“What happened to your Korean boyfriend? That distance could not separate you from?” Dane chimes in with obvious sarcasm oozing, while leaning into me from behind to deposit the dip we made. It’s clear to me that teasing Hannah is a full-time occupation when they are in the same room. She really is like his annoying younger sister, even if she is our age.“I am devoted to Min Yoongi, but I would like to experience a present boyfriend. Someone I can touch and laugh with.” Hannah sulks slightly, clearly regretting her life choices.“I can’t imagine anyone would want