Chapter One — I Denounced You As My Mate

Esteria

Pain was something I knew too well. Being called wolfless, cursed, weak, or any other insults that can leave a wound. 

But those words, I have heard so many times that most days, I could walk past the people saying them without reacting.

But nothing prepared me for the pain of standing outside Cassiel’s partially opened bedroom door and watching him move between another woman’s legs.

And not just any woman, but Dorah, my best friend. The girl I called my sister. My hand flew over my mouth before the sound building in my throat could escape.

No. This couldn't be happening. I was sure It's a dream, I really needed to wake up from it. 

“Fuck Dorah, you feel so good. You're definitely made for me.” Cassiel groaned. 

And that snapped me out of whatever lie I was telling myself. 

Cassiel Thornridge was my chosen mate. We chose each other three years ago, and everyone close to us knew it. We only delayed the final mating ritual because I wanted to finish college first.

I graduated two weeks ago, and tonight was supposed to be ours. I came here ready for Cassiel to mark me. Ready to finally become his completely.

Instead, Dorah’s legs were wrapped around his waist on the bed that was supposed to become ours.

Her moans filled the room and I backed away from the door, my stomach turned violently.

Leave. That was the first thing my mind told me. Just leave. But anger stopped me after only two steps.

Why should I sneak away? They were the ones doing something wrong, not me. She was supposed to be my friend. And he was supposed to complete our bond tonight. 

I shoved the door open. It was Dorah who saw me first. Her face changed instantly. “Esteria?”

Cassiel turned. The moment our eyes met, he pulled away from her. “Esteria!”

I didn't answer, because I couldn't. Dorah dragged the bedsheet over herself while Cassiel reached for his boxer briefs.

I stared at both of them for several seconds, waiting for someone to explain what I was seeing. But none of them did. 

My chest tightened. “Since when?” That was the question I could ask at the moment because up until yesterday, Dorah was still telling me what to expect tonight. But definitely not this. 

She lowered her eyes, and Cassiel stepped into his briefs. “Listen to me first.”

I laughed once. Even to my own ears, the sound was broken. “Listen to what?”

“It's not what you think.”

I looked at the bed, at Dorah, then at him. “What exactly do you think I think?”

He fell silent because he lacked what to say to me next. And that was it. I couldn't stand their shamelessness. So I turned and walked out.

“Esteria, wait!”

I ignored him. All I wanted was to get out of that house before I completely broke down.

Behind me, I heard hurried footsteps and Dorah calling my name. But I refused to answer. Instead, I walked faster.

Cassiel's home suddenly felt too small. Every hallway carried memories I didn't want anymore.

This was the house I thought would become mine too. Cassiel was more than the man I loved. He was the future I had been holding onto.

Whenever Luna Lumina reminded me that Alpha Corvian only brought me into their home because my father died serving him as Beta, Cassiel was the person who told me to endure it.

Whenever Lumina looked at her daughter Selianna and then at me like she was comparing something precious to something unfortunate, Cassiel reminded me that one day I would leave.

‘Finish college first.’ That was what he always said.

‘Then we'll complete the bond and build our own home.’ I believed him.

For years, I believed that no matter how unwanted I felt inside Alpha Corvian's house, Cassiel had chosen me, and that mattered to me. 

Now I didn't even know if that was true anymore.

I reached the stairs and almost collided with a young she-wolf coming up. I knew her immediately.

She was one of the girls who enjoyed reminding me that a twenty-one-year-old woman without a wolf was an embarrassment.

Her eyes dropped to my face, then toward Cassiel's bedroom behind me.

“Well, look who—”

I didn't even let her finish before I caught her off. “Move.” 

She blinked. Normally, I would have lowered my head and found another way around her, but not tonight.

She didn't move quickly enough, so I walked straight past her shoulder, she almost lost her balance. 

“What is wrong with you?” she snapped.

For the first time, I didn't care.

Cassiel came down the stairs behind me. “Esteria!” His voice was so desperate. 

But I pushed through the front door and the night air hit my face. But I kept walking.

Cassiel caught up near the driveway and grabbed my arm. I pulled it away immediately. “Don't touch me.”

Then he stopped. Dorah appeared behind him moments later. She had dressed quickly, but her hair was still messy.

Seeing them standing together made everything worse. Cassiel rubbed one hand over his face. “I was going to tell you.”

“When?”

His eyes shifted, but he still couldn't say exactly. 

So I said sarcastically. “Tomorrow? After you marked me tonight?”

But Dorah was the one who stepped forward. “Esteria, please—”

I looked at her, and she stopped. Tears filled her eyes, but I was the one hurting.

“Dorah is my fated mate.”

The anger inside me almost disappeared for a moment, I felt nothing. “What?”

“My wolf recognized her three days ago.”

Three days ago. I stared at him. Then at Dorah.

She nodded slowly. Of all the explanations I expected, that wasn't one of them. They were fated mates? Chosen by the Moon Goddess herself? And I am just finding out now?

A painful laugh escaped me. Of course. Why wouldn't they be? I am the one without a wolf. I will never get a mate since no sane wolf wants to be with a wolfless woman like me. And the only one who I thought cared, now belonged to my friend. 

I tried to calm down and make sense of it. So I asked. “What happened three days ago?” 

Cassiel hesitated. “The bond awakened when we were together.”

“And then you slept with her.” A bitter laugh escaped me. 

Dorah wiped her cheek. “We tried to stay away from each other.”

“Of course, but you couldn't.” This time, I crossed my arms across my chest. 

Neither answered, and I looked away. That was the cruelest part because I understood. But that still didn't make me feel better. 

I had grown up hearing stories about fated mates. About wolves recognizing the one person created for them. About how powerful the bond could become.

I had no wolf, so I would never truly understand what Cassiel and Dorah felt. And I couldn't ask Cassiel to reject the woman the Moon Goddess chose for him.

But understanding didn't make what they did hurt less. “You both knew what tonight meant to me.”

Dorah began crying harder. “I wanted to tell you.”

“You helped me prepare for tonight up until yesterday. Remember?”

Her face crumpled. That was the part I couldn't forgive.

“You sat with me. You listened while I talked about finally completing my bond with him.”

“I was scared of losing you.”

I looked at her, and a bitter laugh escaped me. “You lost me when you decided sleeping with him was easier than telling me the truth.”

Dorah covered her mouth. But Cassiel stepped forward. “Don't blame her alone.”

“I blame both of you.” My voice came out surprisingly calm. “I believed the Moon Goddess chose you for each other, so I know I can't change that.”

I swallowed hard. “But she didn't force you to lie to me. Did she?”

Neither spoke. Cassiel looked at me for a long moment. Then his expression changed.

I knew what was coming before he opened his mouth. Still, nothing could prepare me for hearing it.

“I, Cassiel Thornridge, denounce Esteria Silvermoon as my chosen mate.”

My heart seemed to stop. Even though I knew that was the right thing to do. But I still felt the pain of losing something that was once dear to me.

“The promise between us ends tonight. We will not complete our mating ritual.”

Three years gone just like that. So I nodded slowly because I didn't trust myself to speak.

Cassiel reached toward me again but stopped before touching me. “Let me take you home. It's late.”

“No.” I shook my head.

“At least let me escort you.”

I looked at him. The man who was supposed to take me away from everything had just given himself to my best friend.

The last thing I wanted was to walk home beside him.

“Leave me alone.”

His jaw tightened. “I'm only trying to make sure you're safe.”

“You should have thought about me before tonight.”

That stopped him. And I turned away.

“Esteria—”

“Go back to your mate, Cassiel.”